Come Back Down
by flipgurlpink11
Summary: A disgruntled widower rediscovers himself & living life through the joys of fatherhood & falling in love again. postRENT RogerMimi. Please Read and Review please!
1. Hard Hitting Memories

**Come Back Down**

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own the musical RENT or the characters, although I find it a very good musical itself. The only thing I own is that of my own creation such as plot and any character not related to the musical. The story is a post RENT taking place a few years later.

**_Rating: _**T

**_Summary: _**Roger/Mimi. A disgruntled widower rediscovers himself in 2 points: parenthood & love again.

**Chapter One: Hard Hitting Memories **

"Courtney!" Mark called out, "Are you ready? You don't want to be late for your first day of first grade!"

"Uncle Mark! Where's daddy?" the six year old girl asked. She was wearing navy blue knee highs, black dress shoes, a white dress blouse with a grey tie, a checkered kilt skirt, and a blazer with a patched logo on it. "Why isn't he taking me to school? Did he go to work early?"

"No kiddo your dad…just had to go somewhere early today," Mark replied to the little girl, "I'm sure he'll be home later. You remember your medicine right? Just in case you have one of your dizzy spells you took it?"

"Don't worry I know!" the girl replied, "I'm ready now. I can't wait for first grade!"

"That's the spirit Courtney shall we?" Mark said as he drove his niece to school. The girl was enrolled in a private school that required uniforms.

Unfortunately, Mark couldn't bring himself to tell his niece why her dad left so early this morning. Courtney Josephine Davis was the daughter of Mark's roommate Roger Davis. It had been 5 years since Mark moved back into his old flat with Roger and Courtney. However, Roger hasn't been the same person since the death of his wife April Davis 5 years ago. It was hard for Roger being a single father raising a six year old daughter by himself. Till this day Mark knew Roger wouldn't talk about his decreased wife to his anyone, not even his own daughter. It had been like this for five years till now.

"Uncle Mark!" Courtney asked, "Do you know where daddy went? He looked sad this morning before he left and he told me that you were taking me to school instead and that he needed to go somewhere."

"Yeah…he went somewhere important Courtney," Mark thought, "_You're too young to understand right now what is going with your dad…I can't even figure out what is going through your dad's mind these days Courtney."_

Meanwhile, out in the cemeteries of New York City, Roger Davis was standing alone in front of a gravestone with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He quietly placed them in front of the gravestone of his decreased wife April Davis. It has been five years since his wife died after being struck by an unexpected speeding taxi. The worse part for Roger was he was there when he saw his wife get struck unexpectedly by the taxi cab.

"Hey it's me again…I don't know whether or not I'm forgiven for what happened," Roger sighed, "I'm so sorry for what I put you through April. You know I love you and if I could take back everything then things would go back to the way they were. You relapsed that night because of me and I lead you on the street that night after that fight. Everything is so messed up now I don't know what I'm doing. We're not perfect people and we all make mistakes….thank god for Courtney. She's actually getting bigger. She looks like you a lot and that is what hurts the most…she reminds me of you."

What got to him was he felt it was his fault his wife was dead. It was his fault that his daughter Courtney has spent the last 5 years growing up without a mother. Roger felt responsible for his wife into using drugs again back then after the birth of their daughter. His time at work kept him away from his family, but he couldn't forget about the night when his wife confronted him one last time that claimed her life.

_**(FLASHBACK-Five Years Ago)**_

**_Roger came home from a day at the studio writing his new song. It was a warm September night, but unfortunately something wasn't right. He found a bag of luggage that was packed with April's clothes and Courtney's stuff too. He was shocked to find his one year old daughter dressed on her outerwear as if she was ready to go somewhere. Roger went into the bedroom and found that his wife finished shooting up another dosage of smack again because he could tell by her red eyes. _**

"_**What is going on here?" Roger demanded as he spotted the drugs, "What is the meaning of this April? Have you been doing this in front of our daughter?"**_

"_**Is that any of your business? Since when did you give a crap about me or your own daughter for that matter?" April snapped.**_

"_**What the hell are you doing drugged up and leaving Courtney unsupervised?" **_

"_**I'm leaving Roger…and I'm taking Courtney with me!" April snapped.**_

"_**What have I done?"**_

"_**You tell me! How could you? I trusted you and this is how you repay me? I know about that one night stand you had with Sophie Wade! That slut of a client you were supposedly were helping with her songwriting!" April yelled, "She called asking for you! Tell me…it's not true…that you didn't sleep with her?" **_

_**Roger couldn't look at April straight in the eye. He felt the guilt that he was unfaithful with his wife. There were tears in his eyes as he looked at her, "You didn't…it can't be! You ungrateful bastard! I hate you!"**_

"_**April calm down please…I'm sorry it was a terrible mistake and I honestly regret it I love you," Roger begged, "Please believe me I love you so much!"**_

"_**Well did you love me when you and her were…you disgust me the both of you! I had enough…and I'm out of here!" April was staggering towards the living room to retrieve Courtney but Roger followed worried for the wellbeing of his wife and his daughter. She picked up Courtney and they were heading out the door.**_

"_**No April c'mon you're not well enough to care for Courtney in the state you're in c'mon just give her to me!" Roger pleaded but April shoved him out of the way as she was making her way down the stairs in the hall with Courtney.**_

"**_April…you're not well enough just get back inside!" Roger yelled chasing April._**

"_**BACK OFF! I'M FINE! I CAN TAKE CARE OF HER!" April yelled, "GO AWAY!"**_

"_**FUCK APRIL YOU'RE FUCKEN HIGH! JUST GIVE COURTNEY OVER!" Roger yelled.**_

_**The two of them were struggling over Courtney as Roger finally got Courtney in his arms. The two of them were outside on the street fighting over Courtney. April began yelling as Roger was now trying to make his way back inside with Courtney.**_

"_**YOU GIVE HER TO ME ROGER!" April was yelling trying to pull Roger's arm to get Courtney back, "YOU GIVE HER TO ME NOW!"**_

"_**YOU'RE NOT WELL ENOUGH APRIL! I'M NOT LETTING YOU HAVE YOU UNDER YOUR DRUGGED UP STATE!" Roger replied, "SHE'S GOING BACK INSIDE! AND SO ARE YOU!" Roger was struggling to pull his wife back inside but she was resisting and she was trying to pry Courtney out of Roger's hands.**_

"**_DON'T YOU DARE PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME!" April yelled, "GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER!" Instead Roger just pushed her onto the road as April stumbled. Then suddenly there was a sound of screeching tires and a the sound of a woman screaming. _**

_**April didn't see the speeding taxi and it was too late to react. Her scream got Roger's attention. What Roger witnessed changed his life forever. He suddenly got a glimpse of his wife going over the windshield and rolling on top the roof of the cab and landing on the ground. The cab driver quickly came out and soon a crowd of people began to circle around the scene of the accident. Roger slowly walked towards the scene of the accident in a traumatizing state. He covered Courtney's eyes and he looked at his wife lying on the floor. There was blood coming out from her head and many scrapes and bruises.**_

"_**Oh no…God I'm so sorry!" Roger cried bending down towards wife, "April? APRIL PLEASE! Honey?"**_

"_**Roger…I'm so…sorry…" April whispered, "Make sure…Courtney…doesn't end up…like me…take care of her…don't worry…I love you…" With that April went completely still and her eyes completely shut closed.**_

"**_April? Please hang on!" Roger cried, "OH GOD I'M SO SORRY! DON'T GO PLEASE I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH OUR DAUGHTER!" The paramedics arrived within moments trying to revive April but there was no success and she was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident. Roger learned that she fractured her skull due to the impact and that she suffered from a brain herm ridge within seconds. Roger was in disbelief as he stared at his wife's body and only managed to say one thing, "I love you."_**

_**(END OF FLASHBACK)**_

"Please I hope you can forgive me someday April," Roger sighed, "You would still be alive if it weren't for me. It should have been me…not you that night!" With that, after staring a few moments in silence Roger left the cemetery to head off to work.

_**Author's Notes: **okay this is my first attempt of a RENT fanfiction. I hope you guys like the first chapter and please send in your reviews!_


	2. Life with the Davis Family

**Chapter 2: Life with the Davis Family**

By late afternoon, Roger was in the studio again working on some new lyrics for a new song he was producing. The job he had to support his daughter was well paid; after all it was what paid for Courtney to go to private school. Actually, in reality songwriting wasn't the only job Roger had. On the days he wasn't working in the studios, he was up at The House of Blues near Times Square working on booking shows and promotions for the bands performing. His job did keep him occupied on most days, but he tried to find ways to make time for Courtney.

"Hello Roger Davis speaking," Roger said as he picked up the phone, "Mark what's up?"

"Do you know what time it is?" Mark replied on the other end, "My goodness Roger I left you five messages on your phone and on your pager! Your daughter has been waiting for almost half an hour again for her dad to pick her up from school!"

"Oh shit I forgot!" Roger said as he quickly started packing up, "I know it was just…I got caught up with something in the studio. They called me in today to finish up on the last parts to this new song! The need to have it produced for recording next week. I know I'm on my way to pick up Courtney."

"She probably has us on speed dial just in case you don't show up," Mark added, "Courtney called my phone, Joanne's, Maureen's, and even Collins and Angel's. You know you have to take more responsibility for your daughter…so I suggest you pick her up now."

After Roger hung up the phone, he quickly was starting driving towards Courtney's school. He found his daughter sitting on a bench with a look of disappointment on her face. Roger could tell Courtney wasn't please that her dad was late to pick her up. The relationship the two of them had with one another was a bit on and off, but deep down the love he had for his daughter was strong. Courtney was the one thing that gave him meaning to live and without his daughter, what would be the point of him going on?

"Daddy do you know what time it is?" Courtney asked, "Do you have any idea on how long I was waiting? Why are you late daddy?"

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry I know but I got caught up at work!" Roger replied, "As much as I wanted to leave early, I couldn't you know that. I'm sorry I couldn't drop you off this morning but I kept my promise to pick you up. Does that count for anything?"

"Okay…I guess it does," Courtney smiled, "But I only forgive you for being late under one condition daddy?"

"You seem to put a price tag on my forgiveness don't you tiny," Roger smiled as he took his daughter's hand and led her to the car. The two then began driving home, "What are the terms?"

"Can you cook me dinner tonight?" Courtney asked, "We always have takeout almost like every single night. Do you or Uncle Mark know how to cook?"

"Remember the last time we cooked dinner Courtney?"

"Oh…I remember what happened the loft smoked up because you guys burnt the roast for Aunt Maureen's dinner party!"

"Besides…we got people coming over," Roger replied, "Maureen, Joanne, Collins and Angel are coming over for dinner. We're having Thai food tonight."

"Thai food always seem popular with our family," Courtney said, "Daddy…did mommy ever let you order food for dinner almost every night?"

"Not really…your mom didn't like eating out too much," Roger replied with a bit of sadness, "If your mom were still here and she found out what I was feeding you…she'd be disappointed."

"Daddy why don't I have a mommy? All the other kids at school have a mommy except for me and I know I had a mommy. Is it normal to not have a mommy?"

"Huh…Courtney you have to understand something," Roger sighed, "Our family is small…but it's different. Some families are different where kids have only maybe a mom, or a dad, or where both the mom and dad don't live together. Your mom loved you a lot and you were what she called her miracle girl. You know what happened to mommy right?"

"Yeah…you said that mommy is in heaven, but you don't tell me why," Courtney said, "Did you love mommy?"

"More than anything," Roger sighed, "More than everything else…in my life. You remind me so much of her everyday. I see…a lot of her in you and that is what keeps mommy's memory alive. You're always my little miracle girl."

While they were driving, Roger's mind drifted off while Courtney was listening to the latest album from Lifehouse in the car. He loved his daughter a lot, but every time when it came to the subject of April, Roger felt that need to pull away. April's death left him disgruntled to a point where he was doubting whether or not there was any meaning left for him to live, with the exception of his daughter.

Courtney was the one thing that Roger and April did right. She was their "miracle girl" being fortunate and miraculously lucky to be born without HIV and be brought into this world by two parents infected with HIV. However, despite not being HIV positive, Courtney had diabetes which Roger had to deal with treating her with her daily injections of insulin in case her sugar level was low. Their daughter was what changed their lives to do something right for a change…before the mess that happened. Sometimes Roger felt the guilt that he didn't deserve to be here enjoying living and feeling responsible for taking his wife's life away. He glanced at his daughter and pondered how long he has before he suffers the same fate as April.

"Oh fuck what now!" Roger yelled as he noticed a moving truck blocking the way, "Hey! Asshole! Move out of the way! You're blocking traffic!" Courtney just looked at her dad shocked that he just swore in front of her, "Oh honey I'm sorry! Cover your ears okay?"

"You just swore daddy!" Courtney replied, "Huh daddy can I get out first?"

"Maybe that will work better," Roger said as Courtney got out of the car, "Courtney just go straight up to our place okay? Uncle Mark should be home by now just tell him that I'm going to park the car on the other side of the street."

Roger was pissed he had to park on the other side of the street instead of in front of the building. He got out of his car and began to walk inside when he noticed a young Latino woman struggling to carrying heavy boxes up the stairs. She had brown hair and brown eyes probably a few years younger than he was.

"Here let me help you with that miss," Roger offered, "It's kind of a long flight up."

"Thanks I really appreciate that," the woman replied, "My name is Mimi Marquez I just moved here into the building."

"It's nice to meet you," Roger smiled as they were lifting the boxes up the stairs, "I'm Roger Davis. I live in the loft one floor above from where you live. So are you just moving in today?"

"Actually I started moving in since last week," Mimi said, "I just moved here from Long Island to Manhattan. I got a job right now teaching dance at the local community center to kids. I came here to try to get proper gigs dancing professionally. What about you Roger?"

"Well I'm a songwriter working part time at a recording studio producing music and I work up at the House of Blues booking shows and performances," Roger added, "It's sort of a sideline job I do when I don't have any songs needing to be produced right now. The good thing about my job is watching these bands perform for free after all, I book the venue for them whenever they come into town."

"That sounds interesting," Mimi said as Roger dropped his wallet, "Here I got that. Are you married?"

"I was…but my wife April died five years ago," Roger sighed, "I've been a widow for five years now raising a kid on my own. Today is my wife's fifth year anniversary death."

"I'm sorry to hear about your wife," Mimi said as they brought the last of the boxes up to Mimi's apartment, "Well this is it then. I get I'll see you around Roger. Thanks again for your help with the boxes."

"Huh…no problem," Roger said, "It was nice meeting you Mimi. I'll see around."

After Mimi and Roger parted, Roger headed up to the loft and he saw his friends have already arrived early for dinner. Courtney was already eating and Mark greeted him when Roger came inside. On most nights, Mark, Roger and Courtney would wind up finding their friends crashing at the loft after all, each of them all lived there at one point and Roger was grateful for his friends for helping him raise Courtney these past five years. He walked in to find that everyone was starting to have dinner.

"Roger what was with the hold up?" Mark asked, "When I saw Courtney walk through the door she said you were parking the car."

"Oh I got held up," Roger said, "I was helping the new girl moving into the building. She lives one floor below us. Her name is Mimi Marquez."

"You mean the new girl teaching the new dance classes at the Avenue A Community Center?"

"Yeah that's her," Roger added, "She seems nice."

"Sounds like you might be interested in her," Collins replied.

"Oh honey you need to lay off Roger," Angel replied to her boyfriend, "Roger's love life is none of our business."

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked, "I just met the girl today and I hardly don't even know her. Besides, I already had one woman in my life before."

"Roger it's been five years," Maureen said, "Don't you feel that it's about time you get on and start moving on with your life? You shouldn't be depriving yourself of not living."

"And what would you know?" Roger suddenly snapped, "You think it's easy to move that quick? Today is April's fifth year anniversary death. That was where I was this morning Mark. I went to the cemetery to visit April's grave like I always do every year."

"You went to visit mommy's grave?" Courtney asked, "Daddy, why don't you ever take me to visit mommy's grave? I want to visit her too."

"Not anytime soon honey, maybe someday," Roger sighed.

"Why couldn't I go today?" Courtney asked, "I know today was the first day of school and I understand, but can we go after dinner."

"Courtney that's enough," Roger replied, "This is the end of the discussion."

"Daddy!" Courtney yelled, "Can't I just ask to go with…"

"Courtney stop!" Roger replied, "I said that is enough."

"Hey Courtney…huh why don't you head off to your room and play okay?" Joanne said, "I'll keep you company okay?" Joanne took Courtney into her bedroom to leave Roger alone with the others and not upset his daughter too much.

"Look Roger we're just trying to look out for you," Mark replied, "You're our best friend and we care about both you and Courtney. We don't want to see you so wracked up with agony about April's death. You have to let yourself heal and move on with your life."

"What there's left for me huh?" Roger replied, "April would still be alive if it weren't for me! I killed my wife five years ago and that is what rattled me! She found out about my fling with Sophie and threatened to leave that night with Courtney. How can you tell me that I need to heal when I can't and you have to go to sleep every night with the image of seeing your wife get rundown by a speeding taxi! That should have been me…not her! I made the mistake not her and it cost April her life!"

"What about Courtney?" Mark asked, "Do you realize how much your daughter needs you? I've known you for a long time and you need to take some responsibility for your daughter. Roger it wasn't your fault that April died. It was a speeding taxi, not you. Everyone makes mistakes and I'm sure April would have known that it was a mistake you made with your fling with Sophie. April loved you more than anything and she would have wanted you to be happy."

"How can I be happy when I feel guilty of depriving my daughter of any chance of growing up with a mother?" Roger asked, "I can't feel proud living my life to the fullest knowing that this is what I get for living? I look at Courtney and all I see is April inside of her. It's like something that haunts me inside. It reminds me of my guilt and pain I caused for her. Look at me! I'm HIV positive and I drove my wife into using drugs again just when we thought we might have done something right. I don't…even know what I got to live for now or who I am."

"Roger wait don't walk out," Maureen begged as Roger just left the room, "He's always like this every year. No matter what he'll be rattled with that guilt of causing April's death."

"It's not that," Mark replied, "Roger's afraid…that's he's losing all faith of living because he feels he deprived someone else the chance of life. It's like Roger feels he doesn't have anything left and he's losing part of himself each day. It's like he feels he straying down that path again he and April once took before Courtney was born. He's afraid that sooner or later he'll end up dead like April but he's doing better physically, but mentally and spiritually, Roger needs help. The only thing he feels he has to live for is Courtney. There's more Roger's capable of for living…all he needs is time to discover it."

Roger headed up to the rooftop of the building to get some fresh air. _"April…why did you have to leave me to go through this alone? I'm trying but I don't know how much time I got left?"_ It was all Roger can think of. He was always like this every year during the eve of April's anniversary death. This was a typical day for both him and daughter. What scared Roger the most was what would Courtney make of all of this one day?

Roger was fortunate he had his guitar as his comfort to ease the pain he was feeling inside. He felt bad for snapping at his daughter and his friends. Each day it felt like he was losing part of himself. He leaned on the railing and he started playing. Most of the time he played anything by Lifehouse since it was one of the only few bands that let him relate to his feelings.

_"H__onesty is a hard attribute to find  
when we all want to seem like  
we've got it all figured out  
well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue  
I don't have all the answers  
ain't gonna pretend like I do"  
_

Roger saw that Courtney was standing on the other side of the rooftop looking at him. He noticed his daughter's presence and he suddenly stopped playing. No matter how many times he tried seeking up to the roof, Courtney would follow him at some point.

"Daddy?" Courtney called, "I'm…sorry for yelling at you."

"No honey it wasn't your fault…it was me," Roger sighed, "You were never at fault. I shouldn't have told you where I was going earlier today. I should…try being a father to you. After all…you're my little miracle girl."

"I know and I know you're trying…I'll love you no matter what," Courtney said hugging her dad, "Our family maybe little and broken, but that doesn't change anything between us right?"

"Of course not," Roger smiled, "It's always you and me kiddo from here on out. I'll be there for you no matter what because your what keeps me smiling. I have a hard time showing it but you're the only one who knows okay? I love you sweetie."

"I like it when you play because you play well," Courtney smiled, "It makes it smile."

"Me too kiddo," Roger replied as he continued playing, "I'll play for you."

"_Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say  
But I'm working on it  
Maybe I'll master this art form someday  
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head  
Would you believe  
That I fully understand all these things I've read_

_I'm just trying  
to find my way  
trying  
to find my way  
trying  
to find my way the best that I know how_

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but  
even if it takes my whole life  
to get to where I need to be  
that's alright with me now  
if it's ok with you"

**_(Author's notes: the_ song I used in this chapter is "Trying" by Lifehouse so I don't own it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, keep sending in your reviews!)**


	3. An Angel in the Moonlight

**Chapter 3: An Angel in the Moonlight**

Three weeks have passed since the start of September. Roger still kept busy with work while Courtney went to school at St. Patrick's private school. He was still hesitant at the decision of enrolling his daughter in a private catholic school. However, he did it for the sake of April since his wife grew up as a Catholic and he wanted to instill his wife's religious beliefs with Courtney. But Roger didn't share any religious beliefs nor didn't he find any interest in finding spiritual relief. His friends had their own spiritual beliefs, but what good would that do for him?

"Daddy is it okay I give you something?" Courtney asked as he dropped her off, "It's a present for you."

"Okay sure sweetie what is it?" Roger asked. Courtney pulled out a small necklace with a tiny medallion on it, "I thought…it would be nice for you to have it as a present from me. It could help you."

"I see…it's pretty thoughtful of you," Roger replied looking a bit bewildered, "Where did you get it?"

"We had a mass yesterday and they were gave us these necklaces as a token to start off the school year," Courtney said, "This one is St. Michael, the Archangel. They said he's the protector and guardian angel of heaven. I thought…you would want it. Mommy is my guardian angel and I thought you need one too. That's why they said St. Michael protects those who are in despair. Everyone needs an angel to look after them right daddy?"

"I…guess so if that is what you me to believe? I would believe anything you want me to believe? But I'm really sorry sweetie…but I'm not really into this whole spiritual stuff."

"You can try at least," Courtney replied, "For me at least."

"I really appreciate the gesture Courtney…for you I'll try," Roger slightly smiled, "Thank you I promise to treasure it. C'mon tiny you got to get going. Remember, I made arrangements for your Aunt Maureen and Joanne to pick you up after school. Uncle Mark is working overnight today and I won't be home until late."

"Yeah I know the drill I'm spending the afternoon at Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne's place until 7pm and then they're taking me to the community center for my dance lessons. You promise you pick me up?"

"No later than 8:30pm at the latest," Roger said, "I promise you I won't be late."

"That's what you always say," Courtney sighed, "Daddy promise me this time."

"I swear on my necklace I won't be late. Honey believe me okay? Besides, we would have to take the bus home since I need to leave the car at the shop for the night. They need to change the oil okay? Have a good day at school."

"Daddy…please be thoughtful I did give you a present," Courtney said as she headed off inside when the school bell rang. Roger sat in the car for a moment staring at the necklace his daughter gave him. His daughter had her spiritual beliefs and he felt disappointed that he wasn't able to relate to her.

"_Mommy is my guardian angel and I thought you need one too. That's why they said St. Michael protects those who are in despair. Everyone needs an angel to look after them right daddy?"_ The whole idea of someone watching over him wasn't for Roger to believe in. It had been five years later and still Roger couldn't find any sanctuary in his life. He was sitting in the studio doing some editing with the mixes on some of the songs he finished producing. He spent nearly the whole day in the studo. He was still staring at the necklace the entire day and still bewildered. _"It will take more than an angel to fix things. I'm sorry Courtney I can't share your beliefs…but I'll try for your sake."_ Suddenly his pager went off and it meant it was time for him to take his AZT medication.

His HIV was one of the biggest secrets he kept from his daughter. Everything about his life before Courtney was kept from her. The fact that him and April used to be junkies and their extensive drug using gave them HIV was one downfall in his life. When they found out they were expecting Courtney 6 years ago, Roger feared what would happen once she was born. He was scared that she would too be infected but luckily she wasn't thanks to the extensive amount of AZT medication April was on during the pregnancy. That was what Roger thought every single day when his judgment day would come. Every month he would go in for his regular checkups to see how he was doing. It was the same results that extended his life, however he wasn't sure if he deserved to live.

"Roger Davis, call on line one," the secretary paged.

"Thanks Hannah I got it," Roger said picking up his phone, "Hello Roger Davis speaking?"

"Gee Roger you sound like a fruit saying that," Maureen replied on the other end, "Anyways we're calling just to tell you that Courtney is with us and it's almost six o'clock so we're taking her to dance class."

"I really appreciate this you two," Roger replied, "I'm nearly done for today and I finished up early. I promise Courtney I'd be there no later than 8:30pm and for the first time…I can keep my promise fully."

"Finally Roger Davis is taking some responsibility," Maureen teased.

"Oh give me a break," Roger replied, "Anyways give my little miracle girl my love okay?"

"Sure will," Maureen said hanging up, "Take care Roger. We'll talk to you later."

About half an hour later, Roger left the office early and took the bus to pick up Courtney at the community center from her dance lessons. It was dark outside and walking to the community center at this time of hour was pretty hostile. Despite it being only about a fifteen to twenty minute walk from their house, Roger still hated walking the street not knowing what kind of people are out and about. He had his labtop computer and his palm pilot on him to double check the scheduling for the bands performing at the House of Blues.

"Hey pretty boy you got some smack?" a random junkie asked.

"What the hell? Sorry I don't," Roger snapped, "I need to pick up my daughter so I'm late."

"C'mon dude just hand it over!" another guy asked grabbing his arm.

"Touch me again and I'll call the cops!" Roger snapped pulling his arm, "I need to get my daughter!"

"Bloody bastard! Get back here!"

Suddenly he found one of the junkies trying to snatch his bag with his labtop in it and Roger started pushing the junkie. The next minute the other guy grabbed his arm again and soon he found himself being beaten and manhandled by these random junkies. Roger began to run towards the alleyway and soon the junkies caught up with him and they began to punch and kick the daylight out of him. Roger fell unconscious bleeding from his nose and scratched and bruised up after those junkies ran off with his stuff. "_Oh sweetie…I'm sorry again for not showing up again. I think…I could…use that guardian angel right now."_

Meanwhile at the Community Centre it had been over half an hour since dance classes ended and Courtney was still waiting for Roger. Everyone had left except for Courtney and her dance teacher. She looked disappointed again and stared at the clock seeing that her father was overdue to pick her up. It was fortunate that Mimi was teaching the class, but she didn't know much about Courtney.

"You still are waiting for your dad Courtney?" Mimi asked.

"He's suppose to be here before 8:30pm and it's been over half an hour," Courtney sighed, "I knew he would be late…but he would try to be here on time. But knowing this time of the hour it's not good to be outside daddy said. You wouldn't know who could be out there."

"I'm sure he'll be here," Mimi assured the girl.

"It's not that…something's not right," Courtney sighed, "He would call but I tried calling daddy but no one is not picking up."

"Maybe…I can take you home and maybe your dad might be there? Where about do you live?"

"I live near 11th street and Avenue B," Courtney replied, "It's down in those loft buildings."

"Hey me too I live around there," Mimi smiled, "We'll go home together and you can see if your dad might be home." The two of them were walking home from the community center together and Courtney was hoping her dad would probably be home. Once they arrived home, Courtney went upstairs to see if her dad was already home.

"Daddy? Are you home?" Courtney called out, "Daddy? It's Courtney! Are you home? Despite the fact you forgot to pick me up, Miss Marquez walked me home! Daddy where are you?"

Meanwhile Mimi was unlocking her door to get into her apartment when suddenly she heard someone stumbling inside into the building and coughing. "Hello?" Mimi called out, "Is anyone there? Hello?" Mimi slowly went down the stairs and then suddenly she was startled by a bloody and beaten man as he suddenly collapsed out of exhaustion. Mimi grasped as she figured she caught Roger from falling down the stairs.

"Oh god I'm home," Roger slowly whispered, "Home…sweet…home…"

"Oh my god Roger!" Mimi grasped as she tried helping him up the stairs, "What…happened?"

"You…an angel?" Roger whispered in pain, "Are you…"

"Miss Marquez my dad isn't home yet can I…DADDY!" Courtney called out in fear as she saw Mimi trying to help Roger up the stairs towards their apartment, "DADDY!"

"Is Roger your father Courtney?" Mimi asked as they got him in the apartment, "C'mon Roger just stay with me you're home. Courtney help me get him to the couch."

"Oh daddy," Courtney cried, "Are you okay? What happened to you?"

"I'm…sorry sweetie…I was late…I'm sorry…" Roger said trailing in and out of consciousness.

"Please help him Miss Marquez," Courtney begged.

"Roger stay with me here c'mon we'll get you cleaned up," Mimi said as she found some towels and bandages, "Roger what happened tonight?"

"Got robbed…beaten…by junkies…they took my stuff…" Roger said in pain, "It hurts…too much…it hurts…"

"Courtney I need to you to find the bandages you might keep around the place," Mimi demanded, "Hurry! I'm going to clean up your dad!"

Roger was drifting in and out of consciousness that he couldn't even see straight. Mimi spent the next hour cleaning Roger's wounds and bruises up. He was in pretty bad shape and she was wrapping numerous bandages on him. Courtney was desperate to stay awake by her dad's side, but the little girl was already out for the night. Mimi had no choice but to tuck the girl into bed too and spend the night tending to Roger. While Mimi was cleaning him up, Roger was beginning to trail off despite the pain he was he was delusional at the moment due to the herbal medicine Mimi used on him.

"Courtney!" Roger bolted up in pain, "Argh!"

"Whoa take it easy Roger you're hurt," Mimi replied, "Courtney's safe I assure you. I walked her home and she's asleep in bed." Roger was beginning to daze out again after Mimi gave him more herbal rubbing medication to treat his wounds and scrapes.

"Are…you an angel?" Roger whispered, "You're…looking after me aren't you? You're watching over me and my daughter?"

"Thank god you're healing," Mimi smiled applying the bandages around his abdomen, "Here take it easy. You've had a rough night. You've been beaten and robbed. Thank god you were lucky enough to make it back here so we could find you. I'm glad you're okay."

"Your smile…like an angel in the moonlight," Roger smiled but Mimi wasn't sure if he knew it was her, "An angel in the moonlight watching over me. Please…don't leave tonight I need a miracle more than ever."

"Don't worry Roger…I'm not going anywhere tonight," Mimi said squeezing his hand light, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay till you get well. Get some rest Roger."

"Tell Courtney…thank you for me…my little miracle girl…," Roger smiled as he fell unconscious again but this time asleep, "Always knows…about divine intervention…my angel in the moonlight who saved me."

"You're safe now I promise you that," Mimi smiled applying the last bandage around his head as she fell asleep afterwards, "An angel in the moonlight…that's cute of him to say that for a man maybe delusion from all that herbal medicine I used."


	4. Staying In for the Day

**Chapter 4: Staying In for the Day**

**Author's Notes: **_hey there everyone! Due to my mid-terms coming up in the next two weeks, this will probably be my latest update until further notice. I know it sucks, but hey school comes first! The song featured in this chapter is Bon Jovi's Never Say Goodbye so I don't own it. Anyways I'm really thankful for the reviews and keep them coming! Well on with the story!_

The next morning Roger slowly woke up. He couldn't remember much about what happened last night, but he remembered after waking up to the aches and pains in his body. He felt completely sore all over, however everything to him was a nearly a blur. Roger was surprised to find himself back in his apartment but then he noticed the bandages all over him. Someone took the liberty of changing his clothes and he found himself in a t-shirt and pajama pants. There was a white bandage around his head and all over his arms and his abdomen. He noticed the bruises and scratches and then he remembered…he nearly got beaten last night.

"Hey good morning…I see you're awake," he heard Mimi bringing a bowl of soup, "Here I made this for you just in case you were hungry."

"Mimi? Is that you?" Roger wondered, "What's going on? Why are you here? Where's my daughter? Is she alright?"

"It's about 9:30 in the morning right now," Mimi replied, "I called your friend Collins and Angel to take your daughter to school. You were still asleep after the beating you suffered last night. I called you contact list of people you know to assure them everything was under control. Your roommate Mark was here this morning and he took the liberty of informing your work you weren't going to be in today. Besides, you need to rest up after the state I found you in last night. Luckily I managed to bring your daughter home when you didn't show up at the community center last night to pick her up. You managed to make your way back here before you were slipping in and out of consciousness."

"You…were the one who found me?" Roger asked, "You…were the one that was here the entire night with me and my daughter? Mimi…I don't know what to say."

"I'm glad you're okay and I'm glad I was fortunate you miraculously made your way back here last night," Mimi sighed with relief, "You…gave Courtney a scare last night. She was worried about you all night. Poor girl tried to stay up but she couldn't so I tucked her in last night after she fell asleep. Do you…remember what happened last night?"

"Most of it…I guess including that part where those whacked out junkies beat the shit out of me…and then they made off with my stuff," Roger sighed, "They took my phone, cash, my labtop, anything that was used for work. Thank god I had my files on backup here at home. I tried to find a phone…but I was in a lot of pain and the only option I made was…to try to make it back home and then the rest was a blur."

"I found you shortly after I arrived home with Courtney and you passed out." Mimi had some herbal medicine as she sat next to Roger on the couch as she was taking off some of the bandages to be replaced. "Here let me check your injuries."

"Mimi it's okay…I'll be fine I heal fast."

"Roger don't be a baby…here I promised I wasn't going anywhere last night and I keep my word that I'll look after you today. Besides, I don't have any classes until tomorrow. At least you can be grateful for my hospitality of nursing you back to health after nearly saving your life. I guess you were in need of an angel last night?"

"Excuse me?" Roger wondered confused, "Did…something happen that I miss last night?"

"Not really," Mimi slowly smiled, "Except probably the delusion that the medicine I gave you might have caused. You…kept calling me an angel in the moonlight last night while I was putting your bandages on. You were barely on conscious last night to not realize that. I gave your thanks to your daughter for that comment you made last night."

"Courtney…my little miracle girl...always knowing about divine intervention," Roger replied.

"Here just sit up a bit and let me take a look at you," Mimi replied as she was changing the bandages on his arms and abdomen, "Well the good thing is that your bruises are healing up and they're not swollen. It will be a few days before you completely make a full recovery. I wanted to thank you again…for helping me with the boxes a few weeks ago."

"Well I should be the one who should repay you back Mimi," Roger slowly smiled, "Besides you saved my life last night. I thought…it would have been done and over with and I would have been dead on the street. I don't know…but somehow you were there at the right place and at the right time. I am in debt to you for that."

"There's no need for that," Mimi added, "All that matters is that you are alright now and Courtney wouldn't have to worry about you. So is it just you, Courtney and your roommate living here?"

"Yeah for five years," Roger said, "Mark moved back into the loft after my wife died five years ago. She died in a pedestrian accident. She was struck down by a speeding taxi. The way you smile reminds me so much of her. I was married to her for two years and then we had Courtney. April was a big music fan like me…but she was usually into Bon Jovi. You see that shelf near my daughter's bedroom? That there is my collection of vintage records and various CDs. Do you want to see?"

"Are you sure you can make it off the couch?" Mimi asked, "I don't want you to strain yourself out. You need to take it easy."

"Here help me up I want to show you something," Roger said as Mimi helped him up and lead her to his shelf of CD collections and records, "The least I can do since you're nursing me back to health is entertain you. Is there anything you see?"

"You are right…your wife must have been a big Bon Jovi fan when she was alive. My dad used to be a Bon Jovi fan before he died a few years back…he suffered from a stroke. His favorite song used to be Never Say Goodbye from his Crossroads album. Do you huh mind if I could…"

"I'll get that for you," Roger replied as he put the CD in the stereo, "I like this song."

"_As I sit in this smokey room  
The night about to end  
I pass my time with strangers  
But this bottle's my only friend _

Remember when we used to park  
On Butler Street out in the dark  
Remember when we lost the keys  
And you lost more than that in my backseat

Remember when we used to talk  
About busting out - we'd break their hearts  
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye  
You and me and my old friends  
Hoping it would never end  
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye  
Holdin' on - we got to try  
Holdin' on to never say goodbye"

"You must have loved April a lot didn't you?" Mimi asked, "Do you miss her?"

"Everyday I miss her," Roger sighed, "It's been five years and not a day goes by where I think about her. All I just want to do is…move on with my life for my daughter's sake. I'm sorry if I'm talking too much about my dead wife to you. I know it wouldn't matter to you and you hardly know me well enough to know what I've been through raising Courtney on my own without April around."

"I understand your position fully," Mimi sympathized, "You must have been through a lot in your life and I wouldn't want to pry in your personal life. The least I can do right now is maybe offer you my friendship…if you want it?"

"I think I would like that. Thank you Mimi."

"I have to confess…that I'm not really not what I seem to be right now," Roger sighed, "I've been a wreck for five years and I had to deal with a lot of excess baggage in my life that I don't want to disclose. Please understand Mimi that…I have issues to deal with."

"Listen don't sound like that you're guilty of doing something horrible," Mimi assured, "I don't really know your situation well and I don't want to pressure you into something or try to get you to open up to me right now. We can go…slow if you want it wouldn't matter to me."

By the afternoon, Mark arrived home with Courtney in toll. They found Roger and Mimi on the couch as Roger was showing Mimi his album collection and all the momentums he got from various concerts and shows he attended. Mark was surprised to find Roger actually talking and chatting with someone else beside either him, Collins, Joanne, Maureen or Angel in five years and he was seeming to enjoy himself. Courtney couldn't wonder why her dad was happy talking with Mimi but she was happy to see her dad.

"Roger you're awake dude," Mark replied, "Are we interrupting something? Here I picked up your daughter."

"Daddy! Daddy!" Courtney smiled running to her dad, "You're alright! I'm happy you're okay!"

"Thanks to my little miracle girl…always knowing when to call for divine intervention," Roger smiled giving his daughter a hug, "So how was school today?"

"We had to paint pictures today," Courtney replied showing her picture, "This is a picture of an island with tall tress and a blue ocean. What do you think daddy?"

"A picture that is worth a thousand words," Roger smiled, "I like it. I'll hang it up next to my desk with every other picture."

"Daddy? Are you sure you are okay? I was scared last night but Miss Marquez was here," she replied, "She read me a story last night too about Clifford the Big Red Dog. I liked it."

"And it was very thoughtful of her to do that wasn't it?" Roger said looking at Mimi, "So what do you say to Miss Marquez tiny?"

"Thank you for last night," Courtney smiled, "Will you still be my dance teacher?"

"Of course and you can call me Mimi instead. If you want…if in any case if any of you guys are having difficulty looking after Courtney I'll be more than happy to and look after her," Mimi offered, "Besides…after all she is one of my students."

"I think that sound like a good idea besides she's close to home and I wouldn't have to worry about rushing to pick her up," Mark said, "What do you say Roger? Does it sound like a good idea so you wouldn't have to drag our sorry butts out of work when you can't pick up your daughter on time?"

"I don't want to impose on Mimi she's already done too much for me in one day," Roger protested, "She nursed me the entire night and not to mention today, she looked after Courtney and brought her home last night and not to forget…I'm in debt that she saved my life last night. I feel guilty relying on other people to look after my daughter and I'm suppose to take responsibility for her. I will definitely have to repay you back…somehow for this."

"Roger stop you're not imposing on me," Mimi replied, "Besides…I'll be more than happy to look after Courtney whenever. You don't have to worry about repaying me back."

"Hey Mimi, can you come play with me?" Courtney asked pulling on her arm, "Do you want to play dolls with me?"

"Okay I guess I can spare a few more minutes before I have to switch your bandages again Roger," Mimi smiled, "I'll leave you guys alone to chat up for a few minutes. It gives me the chance to bond with your daughter Roger."

"Be careful with her she likes to pout a lot when she doesn't get her way," Roger teased.

"Daddy! I don't pout!" Courtney replied as the two girls went into Courtney's room to play for awhile, "Besides…I'm a little princess and I'm a big girl."

"So how are you feeling Roger?" Mark asked, "I'm sorry you lost your stuff last night."

"It's alright…besides the company entitled to the right of a replacement labtop," Roger said looking at his bandages, "Thank god Mimi was around last night. I thought…I would have been dead if I didn't make it back here last night and she found me. I'm not a firm believer in miracles and stuff but last night…I was fortunate to get one. I guess there is such a thing as atonement and amends."

"You put it in a way that you should have been left for dead last night," Mark replied, "Just a few minutes ago I find you in here and you're a completely different person from the moody and disgruntled Roger who believes he doesn't deserve to live. I guess you talked about April to her then? I heard you kept calling her an angel in the moonlight."

"I was delusional from the medicine she gave me," Roger said, "I…didn't know it was her until I realized this morning. She stayed with me the whole afternoon and we listened to some music. I busted out Bon Jovi for her. She is something I tell you Mark."

"So exactly…how are you going to repay her back?" Mark asked, "You said you wanted to repay Mimi back for everything she's done for you. What about…taking her out on a date as a thank you for saving your life?"

"A date huh?" Roger hesitated, "I don't know…if I'm ready yet…she seems nice and I don't know her well. I guess…maybe that might be an option."

"What can be an option?" Mimi asked as she appeared at the door, "Is something wrong?"

"Well I guess…I can repay you back by asking you out on a date," Roger replied, "If it's not too much? It's just my way of thanking you."

"I guess a friendly date wouldn't be no harm," Mimi smiled as she began to switch Roger's bandages again, "Here it's time to change your bandages."

"Thank you Mimi," Roger smiled, "How about next Saturday we go out?"

"I would like that," Mimi replied, "Under one condition?" She went back to the stereo and she put the song back on again, "Let me finish patching you up while we listen to the rest of this song okay?"

"_Remember days of skipping school  
Racing cars and being cool  
With a six pack and the radio  
We didn't need no place to go _

Remember at the prom that night  
You and me we had a fight  
But the band they played our favorite song  
And I held you in my arms so strong

We danced so close  
We danced so slow  
And I swore I'd never let you go  
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye  
You and me and my old friends  
Hoping it would never end  
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye  
Holdin' on - we got to try  
Holdin' on to never say goodbye"

Meanwhile, Courtney was in her bedroom playing with her dolls when Mark came in to check up on her while Roger and Mimi occupied the living room. She liked seeing Mimi talking with her dad and Mark was surprised that Roger was starting to open up.

"Uncle Mark, did Mimi ask daddy out?" Courtney asked, "What's going on?"

"Oh little Courtney one day you'll learn about the world of dating," Mark said patting the girl on the head, "It's a complicated world or romance and love."

"You don't make any sense Uncle Mark," Courtney replied confused, "Does that mean I get to see Mimi a bit more?"

"Probably I guess…besides she's your dance teacher," Mark replied.

"I like her," Courtney smiled, "She's fun to play with and she is fun to play dolls with. I hope she and daddy hook up together."

"I guess…you would want that or do you know what you're talking about?" Mark asked.

"I don't know…maybe you say that," Courtney smiled with curiosity, "Since those two are in the living room, you can play dolls with me Uncle Mark. Do you want to be Ken?"

"Do I have a choice?" Mark asked sarcastically as he sat in Courtney's room playing dolls with her while Roger and Mimi occupied the living room for the rest of the day.


	5. Runaway First Dates and Blowouts

**Chapter 5: Runaway First Dates and Blowouts**

It was Saturday and the day of Roger's date with Mimi came. He reluctantly thought it would be a good idea as a way to repay her for nursing him after his attack two weeks ago. It was a already October and the weather was getting a bit chilly outside. Everyone was over aggregating with how Roger should act on his date and what to talk about. Joanne and Maureen came over to help him choose what to wear while Angel and Collins kept Courtney entertained and of course, Mark was documenting Roger getting ready.

"No this one doesn't look right," Maureen replied pulling out one of Roger's shirts, "Here what about this one?"

"Maureen we're trying to make him look charming," Joanne added, "This is Roger's first date in five years. C'mon that one will make turn her off."

"Pookie c'mon I was once his former roommate so I know my friend's taste in clothing," Maureen replied.

"Maureen c'mon let me pick something decent out for him and…" Joanne argued.

"No let me pick something…" Maureen argued as the girls began to fight over what Roger should wear until Roger got fed up and made his presence known.

"Fuck would you two knock it off!" Roger yelled, "I'm a grown man and I can pick out my own clothes! You guys are driving me nuts! Just let me change on my own and let me pick out what I want to wear! Every Saturday there's always a congregation here at our place! Don't you guys have anything to do better than come over and bother me?"

"What a kill joy!" Maureen and Joanne replied leaving Roger's bedroom, "We'll let Mr. Moody here get ready then!"

"Finally some peace and quiet," Roger sighed in relief as he pulled out a pair of jeans and one of his khaki shirts and a jean jacket to wear, "I think…this looks okay I guess. So much expectations for a first date. These guys must be out of their minds."

Roger walked into the living room to find everyone anxiously waiting for him. Courtney drawing on her art board and saw her dad ready to go out on his date. Mark had his camera out and he began to film Roger double checking in case he forgot anything.

"October 11, 7:30pm eastern standard time," Mark narrated, "So Roger is getting ready for his date with Mimi. It's been five years since Roger has been on a date with any other woman besides his wife April. I'm surprised that Roger agreed to take the girl who saved his life out on a date as thanks for her gratitude and for once he's at least out of the house on a Saturday. I find that Roger is a bit nervous about interacting with someone else that is not his dead wife."

"Cut that camera!" Roger snapped, "Look it's just a friendly date with Mimi. I owe her for saving my life and nursing me back to health. I feel better now thanks to her. You can layoff waiting up for me on the details of what is happening tonight because I believe it's none of your business. So I'm off and if you are all to baby-sit my daughter, she's in bed no later than 10pm since it's Saturday night. Mark you got the number of my new cellphone so just call me if anything happens and…turn that camera off gosh I'm off!"

"So I guess he's got this under control then?" Angel asked.

"Okay I think that's a wrap," Mark said as Courtney ran pass him to catch up with Roger. She apparently had something in her hands she didn't her aunts and uncles to see.

"Daddy! Daddy wait!" Courtney called out, "You forgot these!" She handed him a bouquet of lilies, "I made sure that Uncle Mark and the others didn't see! Have fun tonight!"

"Thanks sweetie at least you're not giving me high expectations for my date," Roger smiled giving his daughter a kiss, "You don't give Uncle Mark and the others a headache okay? Wait let me rethink that…keep them occupied for me so they wonder what I'm doing tonight?"

"You mean act like the little cute girl who needs attention?" Courtney joked, "I can do that! I can play tea party with them! I love you daddy!"

"Pray for a miracle kiddo for me okay?" Roger smiled as Courtney went inside. Roger walked to Mimi's apartment door and he knocked it. Mimi opened the door and she was dress in a jean skirt, a violet shirt, black boots and leather jacket. Roger found her a bit attractive when she smiled and saw him.

"You're looking well for someone who nearly suffered a nasty beating two weeks ago," Mimi replied, "I see you're doing quite well."

"No thanks to you Miss Marquez," Roger smiled giving her the bouquet of lilies, "Here these are you…I'm not sure if huh…well you…"

"They're thoughtful and they're pretty. Mimi said, "I guess…this is your first date then in five years? Don't worry…I'm in the same vote as you so we'll be nervous together. I could hear all the commotion from upstairs with your friends. Did they decide to checkup on you?"

"Unfortunately yes and also the fact they're all going to crash at my place, look after my daughter and get the 411 on my date," Roger sighed, "I didn't want to disclose any information about where we are going tonight. They were expecting something in the lines of a dinner and a movie…the normal clichés of a first date. Actually…I'm kind of hesitating of the idea of going to a Latin Club tonight. However, I left the choice of the date up to you."

"C'mon I thought you weren't one of those people who believe in the clichés of a typical first date?" Mimi smiled, "So c'mon are you ready? Trust me…it will be fun."

"Will I regret it?" Roger asked, "Well…I could try something for a change that doesn't include me and my guitar."

Mimi and Roger headed out on their date to the Latin Club that night. It felt awkward for Roger being in a Latin Club for two reasons. The first is he's never step foot in one and the second was that there was a lot of dancing involved. Roger was a terrible dancer and since he noticed that the music in the club was very fast paced, he knew that he was going to be for a rough night. The two of them sat at a table having some drinks and ordering a bit of food. He hadn't found himself in a imitate position with another woman besides April in over five years.

"I…wanted to thank you again for two weeks ago," Roger replied, "I…thought…I would have been dead that night if…it weren't for you. As I said…I was in need of an angel that night…my daughter…you can rely on her for some divine intervention."

"I told you there's no need to thanking me," Mimi said, "I was there at the right place at the right time I guess. Probably it meant it was some sort of chance or dumb luck."

"Maybe I should have been dead that night," Roger sighed, "But something always keeps me going for some reason…to live on and endure all this stuff happening."

"You sound like one of those people who feels like they don't deserve to live," Mimi added, "It seems like you didn't deserve to be saved that night. I know it's not my place to bud in but you shouldn't think that you deserve to live. You got a lot to live for…even living for your daughter. C'mon get up!"

"What…are you doing?" Roger asked as Mimi was pulling him up, "Mimi…I haven't finished my drink yet! Where are we going?"

"C'mon you got to learn how to let loose," Mimi smiled as she pulled onto the dance floor, "I think you're in need for another miracle tonight." Mimi lead Roger to the dance floor to blend in with the crowd. She put took her hands and put them on Roger and he of course felt uncomfortable and filled with anxiety.

"Huh Mimi…I don't know what I'm doing!" Roger complained, "I…don't even know how the steps! Please don't make me!"

"It's okay…just go with the music!" Mimi replied, "I don't know the steps either so just follow my lead! Trust me just follow the music! Ready?"

It was very fast pace on the dance floor as Roger was having difficulty following with the music, but thank god for Mimi. She also didn't have a clue what she was doing but she was just going with the music. For the first time in a long while….Roger was having fun, he was letting himself go of everything he was feeling. All of the regret, the guilt, and the heartache he held inside was slowly to begin to fade off. He still didn't have a clue what was doing, but he just felt free and alive despite being a terrible dancer.

"I don't have a clue what I'm doing…but I'm enjoying this," Roger smiled, "I thought you said you really didn't know much about Salsa music. You seem like a natural at this."

"Growing up being a Latina in New York it's natural to be used to this type of music," Mimi replied, "My mom and dad used to dance to stuff like this when we had family functions. I remember when I was eleven my cousin Gina was in this ballroom competition. She entered in the Standard Ballroom Latin category."

"So how long have you been dancing for?" Roger replied as they continued to dance.

"I've been dancing since I was four years old. I can do ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop, a bit of tango and Latin ballroom. But unfortunately I've never been in a formal ballroom competition. I dreamed…about competing in one. I wanted to…but unfortunately I couldn't. At one point I attended Julliard for about two years after I graduated high school…but I got kicked out."

"You seem like a talented dancer and you even made it to Julliard…what happened?"

"I got kicked out…due to my battle with my own issues with baggage. I had some issues to deal with and I couldn't afford to pay to attend so I dropped out. Since I left Julliard…I've been working to make ends meet…I've did things I am not proud of and pay dearly for it."

"Everyone makes mistakes…and somehow they make up for it in life…I made so many mistakes and the crime I'm paying is living. You must have at least some dreams you want to pursue or something you wanted to do."

"Actually this sounds silly…coming from me," Mimi said as they danced to the next song, "I always wanted to enter at least one ballroom dance competition in the Latin category. The problem is…I don't have a partner and stuff like that is for professionals. Look at me…I'm living in the upper east end of Manhattan, I work at some rundown community center teaching dance classes, and they wouldn't consider anyone who once worked as a stripper. Being here is probably the nearest thing I'll come to dancing Latin Ballroom."

"I think…I'm starting to pick up on this whole Salsa thing," Roger said, "This…is not bad, but I don't think you should give up on your dream. Maybe someday…it'll happen. You'll never know what can happen."

"I guess it's beginner's luck…I'll be surprised if Roger Davis would don a pair of ballroom dancing shoes," Mimi smiled, "Either that or you'll be strumming that guitar of yours again."

"Don't hold your breath," Roger said hesitating, "But it would be nice to see you at the community center teaching. My daughter is really fond of you teaching her. My kid doesn't really have much of a female influence in her life to look up except Joanne and Maureen and sometimes Angel. Well…my feet are beginning to hurt."

"Yeah mine too," Mimi said, "Try dancing in these high heel boots. You want to stop then?"

"Yeah…my feet are giving out," Roger said as suddenly his pager went off.

"What's that sound?" Mimi asked as she heard Roger's pager go off, "What's with the pager?"

"Oh…it's nothing…just some business I need to deal with," Roger said as he tried to hurry off without worrying Mimi, "Listen…I got to go now."

"Roger! Roger wait!" Mimi replied as she chased him out of the club, "Roger! Where are you going?"

"Look I need to go!" Roger said, "You don't understand! I'm sorry but there are some things that I don't like to disclose here!"

"Okay one minute you were all let loose and now suddenly…you this mysterious disgruntled man once again," Mimi argued, "I know you have issues but gosh whatever problems you got in your life…don't let your frustrations out on everyone and the whole world! You need to calm down and relax! It's not like I'm not going to do you some harm! What your problem is that you seem push yourself away from anyone who tries to help you…as if you got some baggage you try to carry on your own. I just need to ask you what the heck is your problem in life?"

"Who are you to tell me about baggage?" Roger snapped, "You don't even know me! What makes you think you can help me? I'm fine alright! What gives you the right to try to barge in my life and try to preach about opening up? Listen…you don't know what my life is like! Don't try to tell me to calm down and relax! Don't try to ask what my problem is in life…if you want to you my problem right now is having you trying to stick your nose into my personal life and that is something I don't tolerate Mimi!"

"I don't know why I'm arguing with you," Mimi retaliated, "You let the littlest things set you off! I wonder if you're like this around your daughter! Some father you must be to Courtney!"

"Fuck you! Don't you try to bring my parenting skills into this!" Roger yelled, "The way I raise my daughter is definitely none of your business!"

"You know what Roger…this has been some whacked out end of a first date! One minute you're hot…then you're cold as ice the next minute! I don't even know what kind of woman would want to go out on a date with you! The way you act and your attitude will completely turn women off in a matter of seconds! I thought you were something else…but I was wrong! I regret agreeing to go out with you tonight!"

"I'm in the same vote as you…this was a huge mistake! I hope you have a good night and you know what…let's forget this ever happened okay?"

"Fine by me!" Mimi yelled, "Go home to your guitar! I guess that's about the only joy you got in your life! I feel bad for Courtney to have a father like you! I can find my own way home! I hope you drop dead on the way home! What an asshole!"

"Same to you bitch!" Roger yelled walking off and giving her the finger, "Hey maybe you can give someone a lap dance while you're at it!"

Roger stormed into the loft and slammed the door to his bedroom. It practically got everyone's attention. _"What's up his ass?"_ The others thought. No one didn't want to knock on Roger's bedroom door in the mood he was, but it was Collins who had the guts to knock.

"Roger! Hey Rog' open up it's Collins," Collins replied, "Hey man are you okay?"

"What? Don't you guys ever go home?" Roger snapped opening the door, "What the hell do you want?"

"Hey chill out Roger gosh what's the matter now?" Mark asked.

"You know what I shouldn't have agreed to that date with Mimi," Roger said, "What the hell was I thinking? You know what Mark…I blame you for suggesting the idea!"

"Oh c'mon not this again Roger," Mark sighed in frustration, "I thought it would have helped you at least heal or open up and move on with your life. Jesus what is your problem?"

"My problem is that I shouldn't be living in the first place!" Roger snapped, "What gives her the right to preach about dealing with my problems! It's not none of her business to stick your nose in my personal life! She doesn't know that my wife had it easy dying a quick painful death while I'm still here living just slowly dying of this thing inside of me! She talks about baggage! She thinks it's easy to deal with your problems!"

"Maybe there she has a point!" Maureen replied, "You need to learn how to let go of whatever it is you're dealing with and move on and quick being so disgruntled!"

"You don't get it do you?" Roger asked, "It was my fault April died! It was my fault that my wife started using drugs again when she found out about my fling with Sophie! My marriage should have ended that night when April died! I ruined too many lives! Sophie's probably infected by now with HIV because of me and my wife is buried six feet underground! I'm still living with what? I'm living with the fact I'm HIV positive and with the guilt of driving my wife to her death! This isn't the baggage Mimi shouldn't be prying into! She talks about purpose well what do I got left to live for huh? My daughter…that's probably the only reason why I'm still breathing am I?"

"Okay Roger that's enough you got to stop," Joanne pleaded, "You're going to wake up Courtney if she hears you."

"She's better off without me and she wouldn't want to know that I killed her mother and that I'm slowly dying everyday of HIV," Roger yelled, "What kind of father am I huh? I can't even cope with all of this…my life, my daughter, going on through life with all this regret and what the hell am I suppose to do? If it wasn't for Courtney…I'll be dead instead. She's the lucky one between the two of us who gets to enjoy the pleasures of life!"

"For God sakes just stop Roger," Angel replied, "We're here to help you if you let us."

"What is it to you huh? What is it to you to try to…" Roger replied but he was suddenly cut off unexpectedly. Roger didn't notice that while he was ranting Courtney was standing there hearing everything her dad was saying. Roger turned to see and he found his daughter standing there on the verge of tears.

"Stop it!" Courtney yelled, "Stop it daddy and shut up! Stop making everyone unhappy! Why can't you be happy?"

It pained him to hear those words coming out from his six year girl…for the first time his little girl swore and he blamed himself for it. Courtney ran into her bedroom and then the room fell silent while everyone stared at Roger. Mark went to check up on the girl while Roger stood there. In one night, not only he ruined a perfectly good date with Mimi, but his relationship with his daughter has hit an all time low.


	6. From Father to Daughter

**Chapter 6: From Father to Daughter **

The next two weeks were stressful and tense times for Roger. For one, Courtney was giving him the silent treatment since that night he came home from his date with Mimi. Every time Roger would attempt to apologize to his daughter, she would either runaway from him and play or she would just desperately just hang around with Mark. On the other hand, since that night with the fallout with his date with Mimi, whenever Roger saw Mimi, she would just turn away and ignore him. But it didn't bother him, but inside he felt that guilty for what he did to both Courtney and Mimi. Mark was trying everything in his power to help Courtney and Roger out…but the problem was trying to help Courtney out.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Mark said coming into the living room.

"Not bad…just doing some work," Roger replied working on his songwriting and show bookings for work, "I have to get this performance of Lifehouse set up for the Holiday event going on at the House of Blues. Do you guys want in on the VIP Passes?"

"Sure more than ever," Mark answered, "Huh…listen about what happened two weeks ago I don't want to put you in the spot…"

"I don't want to talk about it…if you don't mind," Roger sighed, "You guys heard enough that there is to know."

"You were upset and you have your episodes once in awhile," Mark added, "But you know…you shouldn't have let out your aggression on someone as innocence as Mimi or to have your own daughter witness that first hand."

"How…is Courtney? Has she said anything yet?" Roger asked with concern, "I was frustrated with Mimi that night for trying to get some insight into what happened to me in my past or the fact about April and everything else. However…I didn't mean to put my daughter in that position to witness me at my low points."

"What low point are you talking about Roger? The one where you went ballistic on Mimi for attempting to maybe help your or the one where you felt ashamed you made your daughter hear your rants on us? You're her father you should know how your own kid is doing," Mark replied, "You scared the shit out of her and you know it's hard trying to talk to a terrified and upset little girl. I'm not Courtney's father Roger, you are. Ask your daughter how she is instead of having her trying to cling onto me most of the time."

"You think I've tried?" Roger sighed, "Every time I come within 4 feet of my daughter she runs off telling me don't yell anymore. I feel that she doesn't love me anymore. Heck…she wouldn't acknowledge my presence or look at me for that matter. I tried apologizing to her but all she wants from me is to leave her alone. It's like my daughter would rather have her mother around instead of me. It should have been that way five years ago, not the other way around. I would believe that life would have turned out different if April didn't die that night…if she were still around she would see what a kind of a mess I made of things with Courtney. She was going to walk out that night with Courtney in toll for what I did with Sophie…but now my wife dead. My relationship with my kid has hit an all time low and that is all thanks to me."

"Well you finally see what your disgruntled rants about life and misery has done to her. The other night she was asking me…about April. She wanted to know where her mother was and why she doesn't have one. I told her you should ask your father but her answer was daddy would just yell again. I showed her a picture of April and told her about Haven Memorial Gardens. It does break your heart to have your daughter wonder where her mom is or why she feels that her dad is a disappointment. If you want to save your relationship with your daughter Roger…I suggest as your roommate that you fulfill your obligations and duties as a father and try to talk to Courtney. April is not here so all she has right now is you." Roger sighed and he got up and knocked on Courtney's bedroom door to try to talk to his daughter.

"Courtney?" Roger called knocking but there was no answer, "Sweetie, can I come in? Courtney please answer me." Roger opened the door and he found his daughter playing tea party with her stuff animals.

"Okay Share Bear do you want some tea and biscuits?" Courtney said talking to her stuff animal Care Bear, "Be careful Rainbow Bright you don't want to get your clothes dirty and I'll pour some more tea for Tigger."

"Courtney? Honey can we talk?" Roger asked trying to get his daughter's attention.

"Okay we have to be good and smile," Courtney said to the stuff animals completely being obvious to Roger's presence, "We can't yell because we are eating and talking. So how was your day Share Bear? You look sad…I can sing you a song I know one."

"She says we've got to hold on, to what we got," Courtney started singing, "It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that's a lot for love. We'll give it a shot. There, now you're smiling again Share Bear. I can pour you another cup of tea."

"Courtney please talk to me," Roger pleaded as he put his hand on his daughter, "Honey?" However, she just stepped back and just stopped her tea party game. Roger didn't know what to do because he brought this upon Courtney and the problem was coping with it.

"Don't yell at me please," Courtney sighed, "I promise…I'll go to sleep soon. I'll be happy okay?"

"Oh sweetie…it's not that I won't yell I promise," Roger said, "Is it okay I can get a hug?"

"You promised you wouldn't yell," Courtney sighed, "You…don't keep your promises. Do you love me daddy?"

"More than anything in this world Courtney. You mean everything to me sweetie you got to believe me please. I promise I'm telling you the truth. I'm sorry for everything."

"Daddy…where's mommy? I wish mommy was here," Courtney said, "Why can't I find her? I feel safe with her. You…don't keep promises and I don't believe you. Where can I find mommy?"

"You can't sweetie…because she's in heaven with all the angels," Roger sighed, "But you still have me. Even though mommy is not here we got each other. Believe me when I say I love you more than anything in this world."

"Why don't I have a mommy?" Courtney asked, "If you love me daddy, then tell me where mommy is? But you always lie and never keep promises. Mommy loves me and she keeps promise. You don't and you always yell all the time! You are always unhappy. Am I your daughter? Do you want me to leave you alone? You always leave me alone."

Roger couldn't cope hearing anymore that he just left the room speechless. He headed up to the rooftop for some fresh air. He knew Mark was right…his disgruntled behavior and outlook on life was taking a toll on his daughter to a point she became so upset with Roger. It came to that point where Courtney wished that April was here still alive, helping to raise their daughter together. Hearing his daughter sing earlier brought him back to those days where he remembered his daughter having both her parents.

_**(FLASHBACK)**_

"_**Oh no she's up again. I can hear her cry," April replied as she headed into the nursery to check up Courtney, "Roger can you get a bottle for Courtney ready? She must be cranky and hungry."**_

"_**Okay you go check up on our daughter," Roger replied. **_

"_**Hey sweetie don't cry mommy's here," April smiled picking Courtney up from her crib, "My little miracle girl must be cranky and hungry." Roger was in the kitchen getting the bottle ready and he was peeking through the nursery watching his wife rock their daughter to calm her down. She started singing another Bon Jovi hit to calm the baby down, although it was April's favorite band.**_

"_**Tommy used to work on the docks, unions been on strike, he's down on his luck that's tough, so tough," April sang rocking the baby, "Gina works the diner all day. Working for man, she brings home the pay for love, for love. She says we've got to hold on to what we got. It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that's a lot for love. We'll give it a shot."**_

"_**Busting out Bon Jovi to get our little miracle girl to calm down?" Roger smiled, "I know one day she'll know that song and she can thank her mother for that. If the first song she learns how to sing…I'll be surprised if this is the song."**_

"_**Hey Living on a Prayer is a helpful song to calm our daughter down," April replied giving Roger a kiss, "C'mon Roger I know you're a big Bon Jovi fan too I can see it. I just want my six month old baby girl to acknowledge the brilliant works of music of Bon Jovi. I know you know the words to this song. There…that a good girl. I'm going to fetch the bottle and I'll leave you alone to spend some time with your daddy."**_

"_**Thanks," Roger said as April handed Courtney to him, but soon his daughter started crying again. "Oh sweetie don't cry daddy's here. Hush honey its okay, I'm here." His daughter wasn't going to calm down, so he thought it was logic to sing to her and it meant busting out Bon Jovi to calm down his daughter.**_

"_**She says we've got to hold on to what we got. It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that's a lot for love. We'll give it a shot," Roger sang, "Oh we're half way there, oh living on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Oh leaving on a prayer." After Roger finished singing, Courtney fell asleep in Roger's arm and Roger gave his daughter a kiss on the head and smiled rocking her, "My little miracle girl…don't worry I promise we'll make it I swear to you. No matter how long it takes…I'll always hold on for you. I love you more than anything. We'll hold on together."**_

_**(END OF FLASHBACK)**_

The next day Roger dropped Courtney off to school, but she still gave him the silent treatment to him. He was having difficulty trying to make amends with his daughter for his behavior and all that stuff she heard. She wasn't smiling or the perky optimistic miracle girl who at least gave him a reason to smile during the day. This was becoming too much for Roger to handle because he didn't know how to cope with Courtney ignoring him. She spent the whole morning talking with Mark and inquiring about her mother, which even doubled on the pain. Roger tried to bury himself the whole day in his work to forget everything that was going on. He spent hours editing and recording some new songs and booking tickets for upcoming shows and venues, anything to ease his pain.

"Mr. Davis, call for you on line one," the receptionist replied.

"Hannah just direct it to my voicemail," Roger said, "I won't be taking calls. I'm much swamped after all those meetings today with the record producers and concert promoters."

"But sir, this one is urgent," Hannah replied, "Mr. Cohen is on the phone. He's been saying he's been trying to get a hold of you. It's line two I'll transfer the call."

"Fine...transfer it," Roger replied as the call was transferred to his line, "Hey Mark, what's the emergency? You got Courtney with you?"

"You know I spent the last 2 hours trying to get a hold of you!" Mark yelled, "I probably guess you were in another meeting! But gosh Roger if you know where your priorities were than you will know this one should have been one that needs attending."

"What the heck are you talking about? Did you pick up Courtney from school?"

"I would of…if your daughter would have been at school today," Mark replied, "Roger…the school was trying to call you all day to say that…Courtney is missing."

"What?" Roger replied both shocked and confused, "What…are you talking about? I dropped her off this morning…how can Courtney go missing? Where the heck is she?"

"That's what we want to know and that is why I'm calling you. Her teacher said that she hasn't seen Courtney since lunchtime. Roger…just come down to the school quickly and I'll try to call the others if they have seen her."

"I'll be down there in ten minute," Roger said as he hung up the phone and left the office, "I got to go Hannah. Tell anyone that calls I'm out for the rest of day and leave a message. My daughter is missing and I need to head to her school."

Roger was driving quickly and manically through the traffic to get to Courtney's school. He was now frantic with worry and fear for his daughter…his little six year old girl. How could she have gone missing? But the main question was where she was? _"Oh Courtney where are you sweetheart?"_ It was all Roger could think about. He desperately wanted to find her by all means. Once Roger arrived at the school, he met up with Mark and Courtney's teacher.

"Mark…has there been any word on Courtney?" Roger frantically asked, "Where is my daughter? Has something happened to her?"

"Mr. Davis…Courtney has been gone since lunchtime," the teacher replied, "She didn't come into class with the other students after recess and then I asked some of the kids if they know where Courtney went. I informed the staff that your daughter was missing so we did a formal search of the school with no luck. However, one of my students Jamie Miller said that he saw Courtney leave school and got on the transit bus by the bus stop in front of the school."

"You're trying to tell me that my daughter is lost somewhere in New York City?" Roger yelled in frustration and tears, "How can that happen? What on earth is going on here? Where is she? My god fuck not Courtney! I did this to her…Mark I screwed up big time."

"Don't worry Roger…we'll find her I promise," Mark replied put a hand on his shoulder, "We'll find Courtney don't worry. Courtney's teacher has contacted the police to report Courtney missing and since you were hard to contact, they contacted me since I am Courtney's legal guardian. I got a hold of Joanne and Maureen, they're searching near Central Park for her and Collins and Angel will try to hit any places Courtney would try to visit."

"Mark…can you search once more around near the school if in case she shows up?" Roger asked, "I'm going to check home to see if…she might be there. If anyone finds her please call me right away."

"Sure thing man," Mark said, "I told the others to call you if they found her."

Roger began to search for Courtney for the rest of the afternoon. He quickly drove back to the loft to see if she was home. Roger entered the apartment to see if she came home. He frantically looked all over the place, but no luck. The answer machine kept going off but it was only his friends.

"_Speak!" the answer machine replied._

"_Hey Roger….it's Maureen and Joanne. Listen there hasn't been any trace of Courtney at the park and no one hasn't spotted her. We'll do our best to find her. Don't worry Roger I'm sure she is safe somewhere." _After the first message ended, the next message played.

"_Roger…it's Collins. Angel and I still haven't found any sign of Courtney. There hasn't been a trace of her around yet. We'll keep in contact if something happens. Take care." _

All Roger wanted was to find his daughter and bring her home. He couldn't bare the fact of something terrible happening to her. After the messages were done playing, Roger quickly exited the apartment. He was thinking of all the possible places to see where Courtney was. He began knocking on apartment doors to ask his neighbors if they have seen Courtney until he got to the next door…which happened to be Mimi's.

"Yes can I help…?" Mimi replied but she was stopped when she saw Roger at her door, "Oh…I'm surprised you're here in front of my door. What you're not going to rant on again for barging into your personal business?"

"It's not that! Right I don't have time to talk about that! Mimi…is Courtney here?" Roger suddenly asked, "Have you seen her anytime today?"

"I don't teach until tomorrow and that's when she has classes," Mimi answered noticing Roger's tone of voice something was wrong, "What's the matter? Roger what's going on?"

"Because Courtney is missing and I can't find her," Roger sighed, "She wouldn't have happened to drop by today would she? The school said she's been gone since lunchtime. I don't know where to look for her."

"I'm sorry Roger but I haven't seen Courtney. I'll get my coat and I'll help you look for her…but I still won't forgive you for what happened on our date."

"We'll talk about that later I just want to find my daughter please…help me find her. I'm so worried about her Mimi. I love my daughter too much and I can't bear if anything happens to her. This is all my fault Mimi you're right…I am a bad father."

"Just have faith we'll find her," Mimi assured him as the two began driving around looking for Courtney, "I assure you that you are not a bad father. Listen that stuff I said before about your parenting I was out of line…you're going through some rough times and I'm sorry."

"No I was out of line that night…not only I took my frustrations out on you but my daughter saw me ranting to my friends. I literally scared her to a point she wouldn't talk to me or acknowledge me. She asked me…if I loved her. She just wanted me to leave her alone. All the things she said to me…were the truth. I lose it too much because I'm so disgruntled about life and praying for some death sentence. She told how I never keep promises and how she doesn't believe anything I say anymore."

"I'm sure Courtney doesn't mean it Roger. You mean everything to her I can bet you. It's always you and her and parents do make mistakes sometimes. We're not perfect you know."

"I just wish…I could have taken everything back that night," Roger sighed, "I haven't got my priorities straight all my life and I've been through all this shit that I don't know how to cope with. I love my daughter so much Mimi…I just have a hard time expressing it. Any sign of her yet?"

"Nothing yet," Mimi sighed, "There are some things that Courtney doesn't know about I think and you're trying to protect her…it shows that you love her and your way of expressing it. If her mother was here…then it would be easier, but what she needs is her father. Would you know any other place Courtney would go?"

Roger and Mimi drove for hours with no sign of finding Courtney. Roger didn't want to give up hope on finding his daughter and it drove his determination of finding her harder. Mimi could see that Courtney meant everything to him and he kept beating himself with the guilt of driving her away. They searched around the community center, the neighborhood, and the school for hours until Roger suddenly figured out one place they didn't search...with that he made a quick turn and headed in the opposite direction.

"Roger…where are we going?" Mimi asked confused, "You're going the wrong way."

"There's one place we haven't searched…and I bet you that divine intervention will lead me to her," Roger said, "I think…I know where Courtney might be." Roger and Mimi drove and found themselves in front of the cemetery gates of Haven Memorial Gardens. The two of them got out of the car and they entered the cemetery desperately trying to search for Courtney.

"Wait Roger…stop look there," Mimi pointed out to a gravestone, "I think…"

"Do you mind…I'm familiar with that gravesite," Roger said as he spotted what was looking for, "I need to sort out some issues first." Roger approached the familiar gravesite of April's and he found what he was looking for…his six year old daughter Courtney. She was standing in front of the gravestone as she was tracing her figures on the edges of the text engraved in the tombstone.

"Courtney?" Roger called out, "Oh my God I found you. Courtney?" His daughter turned around and she had a distant look in her eyes.

"Daddy…is this where mommy is?" Courtney sighed crying, "Is this where I can find mommy?"

"Oh sweetie…I'm so sorry," Roger said as he embraced his daughter with tears, "I'm so sorry for everything. I should tell you sooner or later. I love you so much you don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

"Why can't…I find mommy?" Courtney asked, "If I found mommy…then you be happy. I'd be happy too. I don't want you to yell anymore. She could promises, but you don't. Can mommy come home to make you happy?"

"She can't…because this is where mommy will stay from now on," Roger cried as he knelt facing the gravestone, "God I miss you April everyday…why is everything so messed up? Why did you have to leave alone to face everything on my own? I destroyed your life, Sophie's, and everyone else! What do I got to live for huh? If you were still alive…she would have been better off with you instead of me! I don't know what to do! It should have been me that night…but I figured out why one of us had to stay, for our little miracle girl."

"Daddy…do you love me? Did mommy love me?"

"More than anything in the world…I love you more than anything," Roger replied, "Don't ever think I never loved you because you are what kept me going. It did…but I never returned the love you showed me. I promise you Courtney…it's just you and me together forever. I swear on your mother's love for you I will always be there for you until the end. I can't do this alone Courtney…because I need you. I need your help more than ever to keep me in line."

"I don't hate you daddy," Courtney said giving him a hug, "I love you daddy. I'm sorry…for running away. I just…want to find my mommy so she can make you smile again. I like it when you're happy instead of sad, then you make me unhappy."

"Oh sweetie I didn't mean to do that to you," Roger said, "I promise you that I will love you and I will always stay happy for the both of us. At least…you now know about your mom. If you want to visit her…we'll go together next time okay? You do have that right to see her. If there is anything you want, just tell me."

"What was mommy like?" Courtney asked, "Was she pretty?"

"She was Courtney…you have her eyes that is what makes her live," Roger said, "I loved her and she loved you with all her heart. If she were alive…she would be proud of the little girl you turned out to be, even the Bon Jovi fanatic you turned out to be."

"Mommy was a fan of Bon Jovi?" Courtney smiled, "Whose Bon Jovi?"

"Your mommy's favorite band in the entire world," Roger smiled as held his daughter, "You remember that bedtime song I sang to you? When you were a baby…your mommy used to sing that to you every night. It was her song to you…Livin on a Prayer. I figured that somehow you might remember because she sang it to you."

"I know…but I have a hard time to remember," Courtney said, "I forget most of the time…can you sing it to me daddy…for mommy please?"

"Tommy used to work on the docks, unions been on strike, he's down on his luck that's tough, so tough," Roger sang as he picked up his daughter, "Gina works the diner all day. Working for man, she brings home the pay for love, for love. She says we've got to hold on to what we got. It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We got each other and that's a lot for love. We'll give it a shot."

By this time, Courtney started joining singing with her dad. "Oh we're half way there, oh living on a prayer. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Oh leaving on a prayer."

"We always have each other right?" Courtney smiled.

"Always…I promise you everything will be different from now on," Roger replied, "I swear to you on my life…as long as we got each other, we'll be alright. C'mon it's getting late let's get you home. Everyone was worried about you…and you almost gave daddy a heart attack. From now on I'll put you first before everything else. I love so much."

"I love you too daddy," Courtney smiled as she turned to the gravestone, "It was nice to meet you mommy. Daddy is happy now."

"Oh you found her?" Mimi replied as they caught up with them, "I'm glad you're safe kiddo."

"Mimi…thank you for helping me find her," Roger smiled holding his daughter, "I'm sorry…for the way I treated you. Can you forgive me?"

"I can still give you my friendship at least…but I'm glad you got your daughter back," Mimi smiled, "I'll forgive you…but I'll make sure to be cautious around you. I know you've been through a lot." By this time Roger found that Courtney was asleep in his arms, "Poor girl she must be tired. Here I can take her if you want. I know you're exhausted."

"I'm okay…I can manage," Roger insisted but Mimi took Courtney out of Roger's hands, "I hope we're okay now Mimi."

"We'll give time to know each other more for now," Mimi smiled, "There are still some things I do not know about you…but if you let me know what kind of person you are…I'll reconsider maybe going on another date with you Roger."

"Thank you Mimi," Roger smiled as the three of them headed out of the cemetery. As they were heading out Roger turned once more towards April's grave, _"I promise April…this time I'll be there for her. I swear to you. Thank you for leading me to Courtney. I'll do better now."_


	7. Rooftop Secrets and Confessions

**Chapter 7: Rooftop Secrets and Confessions**

Weeks after Roger's latest ordeal with Courtney, he began to live up to his word and started taking responsibility for Courtney. It was going to take time for Roger to fix things with Courtney, but he promised her no matter what he was going to be there for her. However, Roger may have patched things up with Courtney; he was still trying to deal with everything else around him. His friendship with Mimi was slowly improving, but he still couldn't bring himself to open up about his personal problems. There was something else that was bothering him…he was beginning be exposed to the ideas of love and romance again. It was an opportunity he questioned whether passing up or not.

"Daddy…look at this," Courtney said she led Roger into her room, "Daddy…why is there a hole in the ceiling and why is the roof leaking?"

"Oh man not again," Roger groaned, "Mark! We got a situation! I thought you called Benny about the roofing in our loft and the busted pipes! One of the pipes in Courtney's room burst so she can't sleep in her room until we get that fix."

"Well he's coming by today," Mark added, "Besides…he's collecting the monthly rent. I'm surprised we forgave him for all the crap he put us through in the past. But hey…everyone deserves their second chances don't they? Well he maybe had evicted us at one point, and gate crashed Maureen's protest and sellout when he married Allison Grey, but he's done us some good in the past."

"He did help me…enroll Courtney into St. Patrick's when I fell short," Roger said, "And he did refer me to Charlie at The House of Blues and he did pay for April's funeral…something I couldn't bring my self to do so." Suddenly within minutes the phone rang.

"Hello?" Mark replied picking up the phone, "Yeah Benny okay come up! Roger he's here."

It has been months since Mark and Roger have last seen Benny. Once their old roommate and now landlord, they all had their differences in the past. However, Benny's attitude changed when his son Marcus Coffin was born. Benny's son was born a few months after Courtney and the two kids were classmates at St. Patrick's. Still at times, Benny can be the pompous and sarcastic bastard at times when he came around to see them, but he still had good intentions and a good heart left in him, despite marrying into the upper class society.

"Still the same old place when I still living here," Benny replied coming in the door with Marcus, "Roger, how are things going with you?"

"Been keeping busy with work and raising my daughter," Roger said, "The only two people in our group of friends who actually turned out to be parents. These guys here refuse to handle the responsibility of parenthood. "

"Tell me about it, you think its easy trying to please the wife at home?" Benny said, "The wife tries to raise our son as this upper class prep boy who acts like he's all that. Either that or the fact he hangs around with his grandpa too much at the country club. I take him down here to sometimes snap some sense of reality into my kid."

"You're talking about a six year old boy," Mark said sarcastically, "Probably the sarcasm attribute he got was from his father's side of the family." Courtney came into the room a few minutes later.

"Hi Marcus, Hi Benny," Courtney smiled, "Hey Marcus…do you want to play Hungry Hungry Hippos? It will be fun."

"Do I have to play with her?" Marcus complained, "She's a girl…she'll probably make me play with Barbies and stuff animals…but since we're friends okay let's go."

"Hey…you better watch your mouth next time you say junk like that around my daughter Marcus," Roger warned, "Benny…you got to teach that kid of yours some proper manners or he'll grow up to be like a snob like that excuse you call a wife."

"Okay…I get it teach the kid some manners on treating people who don't have wealth that they are equal," Benny said, "Besides…I only get him on the weekends after Allison kicked me out again. I suppose you guys want to talk about the piping and the roofing in your apartment."

"Yeah we tried calling you for weeks but there has been no reply," Mark replied, "Wait…she kicked you out again? What did you do this time? Sleep with another girl or blew one of her daddy's business proposals?"

"Knock it off it's been like this for six months…the latest being the affair I had with some chick at The Cat Scratch Club," Benny sighed, "Allison went ballistic when she found the phone number of the girl, called her up, confronted her and me and then…sent me packing. She told me I can only set foot on the property to get Marcus and nothing else. I agreed to go with her to marriage counseling twice a week."

"How is that going?" Roger asked, "Did she put the blame of your tattered marriage on you?"

"It takes two to make a marriage work," Benny added, "And she says I'm at fault. You know after Marcus was born, I caught her fooling around with the gardener and when I found out about that…I fired his sorry ass! She went behind my back for 3 months with that. The only reason why we're trying to fix our marriage is for our son's sake. But that lame excuse she calls a father isn't helping fix the problem."

"Dude if I were you I would give you a quick way to fix this all," Mark said.

"And what is that?"

"Get a divorce and get custody of Marcus," Roger and Mark replied, "Better done deal!"

"Oh no way…I invested 6 years in this marriage and I love my wife…but sometimes she can be a pain in the ass," Benny added, "Her father literally has to stick his nose into our business and the way my son is growing up…sooner or later he's going to sellout like…"

"Like his dad?" Roger said, "We know…and we understand why because you loved her, even if it meant stomping on us to do so yeah. At least you got a wife that wasn't on drugs or HIV positive. Marcus is lucky having a mother around…your kid has everything, unlike mine. Well Courtney still has aunts and uncles who care for her, a good education, and oh yeah a HIV positive father who can't predict how long he has to live. Don't forget…she has a dad who literally drove her mother back into her drug habits and even to her death."

"It's been five years Roger quit beating yourself over the fact that you witnessed April getting ran over," Benny said, "Courtney is lucky to have you for a father and hey…you're doing a decent good job when it comes to this fatherhood stuff. At least she looks up to you while I fear my son is going to be brought up believing in social stature. Between you and me and I will quote this on our next session of counseling that my former roommates have it better than I do."

After Benny made a few calls, he notified the guys that their piping would be repaired in a few days and their roof repaired. "Okay so we'll cool until next month…and the repairs would be made in a few days."

"You take that back Marcus!"they heard Courtney yelled, "Don't you say that to me!"

"It's true!" Marcus yelled, "That's what my mommy said!"

"Well you're mommy is a big fat liar!" Courtney yelled back, "And so are you Marcus Coffin!"

"At least I have a mommy!" Marcus yelled back, "You don't because your mommy is not here…because she died!" By that time Roger got really pissed off at Marcus for saying that and he was five seconds away from punching Benny's son in the face. Courtney began to cry.

"What the hell did you say to her?" Roger yelled in rage grabbing Marcus by the shirt, "Don't you ever say that to my daughter you little bastard you got that? Don't you show me disrespect because you're a rich little punk ass kid! You apologize to my daughter or else I'll kick the living shit out of you!"

"Have you gone completely mad Marcus Julian Coffin?" Benny yelling at his son, "Sometimes you don't think of what you say? Heck, you're just like your mother not thinking straight of what you say. What did you tell Courtney?"

"Mommy said that Courtney's mommy was sick because she's poor like Courtney's daddy," he boy replied, "It's true because that is what mommy said. She said Courtney's mommy is dead because she was sick with something more than cold. It's true Uncle Roger."

"If you don't discipline that son of yours Benny I swear I would slap him across the face!"

"Okay Roger calm down," Mark replied holding Roger back while Benny had his son behind him, "Look Benny…I think it's best if you got Marcus out of here before Roger does some damage to your kid. He already swore enough times in front of the kids."

"Look…I'm sorry for what my son said," Benny apologized to Roger, "I'll see that I deal with him when we get home. I'll call the contractors to fix the piping and roofing guys."

"Thanks," Roger said, "You better deal with Marcus."

"You…let's go you're beginning to irritate me," Benny said as he took Marcus out of the loft, "I do apologize again Roger. Give Courtney my sympathies. Take care you two."

"He said that his mommy told me that my mommy was sick," Courtney cried, "Then Marcus said that my daddy was sick and it is not a cold that is was something else. But he said that his mommy said that you and mommy are sick because you're poor. I hate him daddy! I hate Marcus! He's so mean!"

"It's okay sweetie…Marcus is just being dumb," Roger replied counseling his daughter, "Don't you listen to what he says because his mother, Allison thinks she is better than everyone else. She is trying to make Marcus think he's better than you. That boy doesn't know better than his mother."

"He says it's true…daddy is true?" Courtney asked, "Is it true that my mommy was sick and she died because she was sick?"

"Courtney…there are some things you have to understand," Roger sighed, "I can't really explain this to you because you are too young to understand. What happened to your mother is something you need to learn when you are a bit older. Your mommy and I were…sick at one point and I am still today…but I am getting better. Remember how you have your insulin to treat your diabetes? Well daddy…has some special medicine he takes."

"Is it more…than a cold daddy?" Courtney asked, "Did mommy die of a cold or was she really sick? Was she sick because she was very poor like Marcus said?"

"That's not true sweetie," Roger said as he was about to tear up, "Honey…daddy doesn't want to talk about what happened to mommy okay? Don't listen to what Marcus says okay? Your mommy didn't die because she was poor and I wasn't sick because I'm poor okay?"

"I understand daddy," Courtney replied, "I won't listen to what Marcus said because he's a big fat liar like his mommy. I love you daddy…thanks for making me feel better."

"Hey no problem kiddo," Roger smiled hugging his daughter, "I love it when you smile tiny."

"I'm glad that is settled with," Mark added, "Hey listen…I was going to head out to the grocery store to buy some food. It seems like we're low on supplies. You two are up for a trip to the grocery store?"

"Yeah that will be fun," Courtney smiled, "Daddy are you coming?"

"I got some work to do…you go have fun with your Uncle Mark," Roger replied as the two left for the grocery store, "Hey don't forget to buy some milk okay?"

Roger went up to the rooftop a little while later. He was upset with what Benny's son told Courtney about her mother. That basted kid didn't even know anything about the mother of his daughter and he was saying all of this based on what Allison told him. He literally hated Marcus for upsetting Courtney…what was he thinking saying that? He had no right to disrespect April's memory like that and he knows better than to disrespect his family like that…but he literally wanted to kill Marcus for putting him on the spot to explain to Courtney about everything.

He was playing his guitar on the rooftop reflecting on what he tried to tell Courtney about him and her mother. It was hard to reveal in a way that he was sick with HIV and that her mother had it before she was born. Unfortunately, it was only half the truth…he couldn't bring himself to tell her that one day it will kill him. There are some things that Courtney couldn't understand and that he just wanted to let out…especially the reason of why April died. It wasn't the fact that she was a drug addict or HIV positive, it was the fact that his exploitation of his affair with Sophie killed her. He was to blame to April's death. Suddenly he broke down again thinking about it, thinking about how he was at fault for everything and how he will pay the price for it. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey…I see you like to admire the view from up here," Roger turned around and saw it was Mimi, "You come up here often?"

"On most days…to think and to be alone with myself," Roger sighed, "I…didn't expect to find you up here. I didn't see you."

"I sometimes like to come up here to practice my routines on my own," Mimi added, "It's just peaceful being up here alone…thinking about life and stuff. I haven't had it easy the last couple of years. There are some things I live to regret and because of that I'm paying the price for it…with my life."

"I should have been dead in the long run Mimi," Roger sighed as he broke down, "You're talking to someone who is to be blamed for driving his wife to their death. I can't even tell my daughter her mother is dead because of me! You want to know about the baggage I'm carrying? That baggage includes the fact my little fling with a client of mine five years ago drove my wife to relapse and use drugs again! I had baggage long ago before Courtney was born! I'm not the perfect father my kid should be looking up to! I destroy lives Mimi…I drive people to their breaking points! My wife and I are not the idealistic parents our daughter sees us…especially when you got a life threatening luggage to carry until you're one day put in that coffin down in Haven Memorial Garden. God…is this what I get for living? To carry this luggage for the rest of my life until you put me in my place?"

"Roger…it's okay just let it out," Mimi said as she started comforting Roger, "Just let it out I understand it's okay."

"I'm tired of living with the shadows of my past!" Roger cried, "It just won't let me be! Look at me I'm a nothing but a hallow shell that can't feel happiness…only pain and guilt!"

"Look at me," Mimi said trying to get him to look at her, "You know what I see. I see a man who is determine to fight and make an effort to defeat the shadows of his past. I see in your eyes courage to get through all the trauma in you life."

"It's just so hard…because it won't leave me alone. It haunts me every night that I am detached from everything I know! I try to hide in my work from everything but no matter what I do…it finds me."

"Then let it go," Mimi assured him, "Get back what you want in your life and take it back."

"It's so hard Mimi that's why I'm so disgruntled about living…but Courtney is what keeps me going," Roger continued, "I couldn't tell the real reason why April died…because she would hate me forever and blame me for taking her mother away. I just wait it's time for me to be put in my place. My wife and I were junkies before Courtney was born…two junkies madly in love and getting high at the same without a care. I thought it good to be born to be wild. Unfortunately…it was what gave us this. I knew from that day forward…our lives would forever change. The day we got our admission test…the dreams of glory and life died. I wanted redemption for everything I did in my life…and I still wait until this day." Suddenly Roger's pager went off signaling his AZT break. When Mimi noticed, her pager went off too and it surprised Roger.

"I can see why…you and I do have a lot in common," Mimi slowly replied.

"You too?" Roger asked shocked, "How…you look like you're…"

"Don't be fooled by your perception," Mimi sighed, "You talk about baggage…I got mine too. I just try to make the best of my days and live my dreams…because I got dreams to remember and follow. So much for two birds in a stone? I can add that to the overall list that will lead to my downfall in life. I was like you once upon a time…living it up for free without a care, getting high off drugs, lived a wild lifestyle stripping in bars, prostituting and sleeping with various customers, I can even be called a home wrecker. I literally blew my chances at glory because my lifestyle…my drug using and my drug admission test is what got me kicked out from Julliard. But my dream is what keeps me in line just like how your daughter keeps you in line."

"Mimi do you feel comfortable talking about this?"

"It's okay…I like to clear the air out on most days and it's hard to find someone to talk to…but I can understand why you are the way you are," Mimi added, "I never felt that burden of carrying the death of a loved one on my shoulders, but I carried the pain of heartbreak. The day my admission's test came in…my mother was devastated. She always wanted to become the prima ballerina she saw me as a child. After I got kicked out of Juilliard, my mother severed any contact with me. I was dead to her now…that's how I got my sense of independence."

"But you still got your dream of becoming a dancer right?"

"It's what keeps me going to live…my sense of independence came at a price. I didn't like the person I became but I grew up. The latest stunt I pulled happened six months ago when I worked at The Cat Scratch Club. I fucked around with this married man who had a wife and kid and then his wife found out about…she went mad. I always wonder what keeps me going everyday in my life and I remember…I want redemption in the form of fulfilling my dream."

"I think I'm beyond redemption. At least your dream redeems you from your past life despite the fact that sooner or later you'll be dead…I'm slowly dying everyday but I can't tell my daughter that either. I can't forgive myself for what I did to April but I loved her with all my heart and I would trade places with her. It's like I'm suppose to be dead now and that the world wants me gone. But when I look at my daughter I understand I'm here for a purpose…for her. I can't leave her alone to face the world alone. I just want to be forgiven for what I did and I want to make peace with my past…to let go."

"Then learn to live each day as if it was your last," Mimi smiled, "No day but today is what I would say. That is what we should do when your face with life threatening luggage like this. It helps to let go of all the regret, guilt, hurt, loneliness and pain you feel inside. Love is the one thing that you be the ultimate redemption and pleasure of living."

"I wish I could love again and live again," Roger said, "I try to smile each day for the sake of my daughter…that's the one blaze of glory I want to find again of living and love."

"I'm sure you'll find it soon," Mimi smiled as the two lean against the railing of the rooftop, "I know you know and I say that as someone who wants the same thing too."

"Would…you help me?" Roger quietly asked, "As a friend that is all I ask from you will you help me?"

"For someone who wants glory and dreams to remember…I can't turn down a cry for help."

"Thank you Mimi," Roger smiled, "I'm sure one day your dream will come true too. How do I try to rediscover what I'm looking for? How do I start living again?"

"Start by taking it one day at time," Mimi said, "You can start today…take it one step at a time. Courtney is your first step by finding the joys of fatherhood and being a parent. Take advantage of that opportunity. Live life through her and relive life all over again. Remember life is about taking a leap of faith too Roger. Once in awhile it's good to expect the unexpected because it can show you value living life."


	8. Hanging by A Moment

**Chapter 8: Hanging By a Moment**

By around the holiday seasons, things have been pretty hectic and chaotic. For one, it was that time of the year where the Bohemians spent weeks doing Christmas shopping. However, Roger wasn't the biggest fan of the holiday seasons. The only reason why Roger put up with all the madness of the holiday seasons is for Courtney's sake. He thought that Christmas wasn't nothing but an overrated holiday commercialized by the retail business market. It was around the last few days before Holiday vacation and Roger was picking up his holiday payment and the demos he finished recording.

"Roger…Merry Christmas," his bosses Charlie and Grant replied, "Good job on selling out the show for Lifehouse at the House of Blues on Christmas Eve. Our sponsors and clients are amazed by the amount of work you contribute with Spark Records and at the House of Blues."

"Hey it's no problem," Roger replied, "So Charlie tomorrow night? The band will be at there for sound check at 3:30pm and I will be at the building by 7:30pm. I need you run the sound check on stage for me. Your staff has the menu ready for tomorrow night?"

"Yeah I need you to double check the VIP list and the bookings too," Charlie added giving him an envelope, "Here…as promised your exclusive all access VIP passes and tickets. You're one of the few concert promoters who are granted with these passes, actually the only one ever working for me to get one and Merry Christmas Roger."

"Thanks Charlie see you tomorrow night," Roger smiled as Charlie left.

"Listen Roger I was on the phone with one of the record companies up at Santa Fe," Grant said, "They are actually looking for some upcoming producers and songwriters. Have you heard of Cardigan Records?"

"You mean that new and popular record company up in Santa Fe?" Roger asked.

"Yeah…the latest demos you put out for the remixes to Lauren Mitchell's last track and your personal demos impressed me," Grant added, "You've been here for 8 years Roger and it put me in a position to put your work out there…so I sent those demos to Cardigan Records. They are actually…interested in considering to having you come aboard to work for them. It is you and seven other producers and songwriters on the east coast. You are some work of musical genius Davis. This is the big break here and I want to congratulate you on your work."

"Cardigan Records…are interested in me?" Roger replied shocked and yet excited, "My big break…in Santa Fe. Wow…this is unbelievable."

"Anyways I wanted to share the big news with my top producer and songwriter of Spark Records," Grant smiled as he shook Roger's hand and gave him the information, "I will be at the show tomorrow. Have a good day and Merry Christmas."

"Thank you sir," Roger said as he left to head home for the holidays.

At the loft, the gang was decorating the place for the holiday seasons. Usually they spent the last couple of years struggling to make it year after year to make ends meet. However, this year was going to be different. For the first time, they managed to decorate the loft with Christmas decorations. Angel and Joanne were wrapping Christmas presents while Maureen and Collins were putting up the Christmas tree and decorating it with help. Mimi and Courtney were baking Christmas cookies. Mark was filming it events going on in the loft.

"December 23rd, 7:30pm eastern standard time," Mark narrated, "For the first time in a long while…the loft looks alive with all these Christmas decorations. We all managed to hit the jackpot this year with the Christmas bonuses we received this year. Buzzline gave me my long overdue bonus thanks to the document on student protesting about inner city violence I made. I can see the joy in Courtney's eyes that this is going to be a completely different Christmas for her this year without us worrying about Roger going disgruntled about life or facing eviction, or going broke. Roger's been acting more actively alive lately and he's been drastically improving on his relationship with Courtney. Those two are tighter than ever."

"Mark Cohen is filming again everyone beware," Maureen teased decorating the tree, "Why don't you make yourself useful and help decorate this place…you live here too!"

"Well Maureen and Collins are having fun decorating the tree," Mark narrated, "Joanne and Angel finally finished wrapping the gifts. At least this year all of us will get to open something for once. We are privledged to welcome Mimi into our Bohemian group of friends after her encounter with Roger. At least she has forgiven him for what happened awhile back on their date. Both Roger and Courtney are growing fond of her. Mimi doesn't have anywhere to be this year for Christmas so with open arms, we let her join us this year for Christmas. Tomorrow night we're spending Christmas Eve at The House of Blues thanks to Roger. He booked a wicked Christmas show featuring Lifehouse…one of Roger's favorite bands. All we're waiting for is Roger to come home with our early Christmas presents." A minute later, Roger walked in the door as Mark continued filming.

"Jesus Mark get that camera out of my face," Roger replied covering the camera, "Let me guess another home video to watch huh? Wow…the place looks actively…"

"You mean it looks pretty and festive," Courtney smiled greeting her dad at the door with a cookie, "Daddy try one…Mimi and I made them."

"They taste very good…at least my daughter knows how to cook," Roger smiled eating the cookie, "That is one less member of this household who has to learn how to cook."

"Roger Davis doesn't know how to cook?" Mimi teased, "I guess that is why you and Mark shove take out food down this little girl's stomach for dinner on most days."

"Hey…I admit it I don't know how to cook Mimi but cooking is not what Roger Davis specializes in," Roger smiled, "He specializes in songwriting and music. Speaking of which…I got you guys your early Christmas presents…your all access VIP passes and tickets for the show tomorrow night."

"Oh goodie Lifehouse tomorrow night," Angel replied as each of them grabbed their passes and tickets, "Roger darling you know how to hook us up with the greatest concerts…you outdid yourself this time."

"I guess the dress code is casual semi-formal," Joanne replied, "Dress pants, skirts, blouses, the works I guess? For a light rock band…the dress code seems a bit high standard."

"The dinner is included with the show," Roger added, "The performance will start at eight and dinner is at 6:30pm in the stage area of the restaurant. I had to put those on reserve for months." Everyone looked excited and they were talking about the show, but Roger noticed Mimi was at the kitchen cleaning up the dishes and a bit upset.

"Hey Mimi…listen I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry," Roger said, "If I could have only…"

"You had those on reserve for months I understand," Mimi replied, "You do stuff like this once a year I guess. I'm still new and I don't want to barge in on any traditions you have. Besides I have plans tomorrow. I'm going to work back at the Cat Scratch Club…I started working there again as of last week."

"I thought you were still teaching at the Community Center," Roger said, "Why are you working at the Cat Scratch Club again? C'mon Mimi you're a talented dancer…you can do better than that I know you can."

"I know but you do what you got to do to make money," Mimi sighed, "I went to an audition 3 days ago up near 5th avenue for a ballet…they said I wasn't proper suited to dance in the show…because of my status. They didn't care about my talent…they only cared about my social status since I live in the Bohemian neighborhood of 11th street and Avenue B. I shouldn't care about social status right?"

"That shouldn't stop you from dancing," Roger smiled, "We got dreams to remember and that's what keeps us going. My word of advice to you…I know you can make it if you take that leap of faith. The Cat Scratch Club is some place you don't want to go to celebrate Christmas Eve at…but it's your choice."

"Thanks Roger…here Merry Christmas," Mimi smiled giving him a present, "Since its Christmas I thought I might get you a little something. I gave Courtney her gift and I did get something also for your friends. I don't care if you open it now or you wait until Christmas…but I'm working tomorrow and on Christmas."

Roger opened the present and it was an old antique pocket watch, "Mimi…this must have cost you a lot of money. I…don't know what to say. No one has ever given me anything like this before."

"It didn't cost me a lot…it was my grandfather's," Mimi said, "I wasn't going to use it much so I thought I gave it to you…something to help you learn how to keep up with your priorities about being on time."

"Mimi I can't keep this…this is a family momentum I can't accept it," Roger said trying to give the gift back, "I can't keep this Mimi this is part of your family. I will feel guilty keeping it."

"It was once upon a time…and I want you keep it," Mimi insisted, "It is my gift to you for Christmas. It's not much but I want you to have…I mean it take it. I don't want you to give it back and just accept it as a gift from me okay? Listen…I got to go head off to work, Merry Christmas."

"If you wish," Roger replied as Mimi left, "Thank you Mimi and Merry Christmas."

"Daddy…what is that?" Courtney asked as she came up to her dad, "Is that a present for you?"

"Yeah tiny a gift," Roger smiled, "It was from Mimi."

"She gave me a gift too…she gave me some of her old dancing shoes when she was small like me," Courtney smiled, "What did she give you daddy?"

"It is a pocket watch," Roger said showing the watch, "It belonged to Mimi's grandfather and she gave it to me as a Christmas present. Mimi won't be here with us for Christmas Eve tomorrow because she has to work…unfortunately."

"I wish she could spend Christmas with us," Courtney replied, "She must be lonely daddy."

"So…do I kiddo," Roger sighed, "It would be nice for her to have a decent place to spend Christmas."

"Hey Roger we got a situation," Collins replied as he gave Roger the envelope that contained the passes and tickets, "Are you sure you counted for 7 tickets and passes?"

"Why is there a problem?" Roger asked, "What are we short one?"

"Actually…it's more of the opposite," Joanne replied, "There's an extra ticket and pass here. I think they must have given you an extra one by mistake. What are you going to do?"

Roger took the extra ticket and pass as he stared at it for a moment while everyone continued to finish decorate the loft. He looked at the pocket watch and then at the envelope. He wrote something on the front and slipped out of the loft to Mimi's apartment. He knocked on the door but she wasn't there…she must have went to work so he just taped the envelope to her door. _"It's about time to pay off a long overdue debt," _Roger thought, _"I hope…I'm not that late yet. It's Christmas Time so…I hope she'll reconsider."_

Christmas Eve had finally arrived and everyone was enjoying themselves at the House of Blues. Roger and the others were watching Lifehouse perform. It was fortunate that they got to meet the band before the show and everyone noticed a change in Roger. This year he was happy living life and he enjoyed spending Christmas with Courtney. However, they noticed that Roger wasn't fully happy and that there was something else he wanted.

"_Desperate for changing, starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete_

_I'll take your invitation; you take all of me now_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_I'm living for the only thing I know_

_I'm running and not quite sure where to go_

_And I don't know what I'm diving into_

_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

"Roger what's up man?" Maureen replied as he was sitting by the table, "Your favorite band is playing your favorite song out there. I assume you're all excited that Lifehouse is playing…but you look all gloom here. What's the matter? Everyone is rocking out on the floor there to your favorite band and you're over here moping around."

"I thought…my plan would work but I don't think she'll come," Roger said, "I thought maybe Mimi would have changed her mind to maybe drop by on Christmas Eve…but I was worth a try I guess."

"The extra ticket and pass…you gave it to Mimi," Maureen smiled, "You wanted her to come didn't you? Do you like her?"

"What kind of question is that?" Roger asked, "That's impossible…Mimi and I are friends. I thought she shouldn't be spending Christmas Eve stripping for drunken bastards you have nothing to do but get wasted. I thought it would be a way of repaying her with a gift."

"Then why did you give her the ticket then?" Maureen asked, "If you say you did as a friend offering some sort of generosity…that's bullshit. I've known you for a long time and just when you thought you couldn't go on…some leap of faith happens. She's gotten to you hasn't she? I will say don't pass up on a good opportunity like this. It is Christmas you may never know what will happen during this time of the year."

"There's something about her I can't explain," Roger replied, "I just wish…I don't know."

"You two have a lot in common than you think," Maureen added as she headed back out to the stage area, "That's what makes it perfect. You need someone…you can relate to."

"Mimi and I…a very paradox thought," Roger said to himself, "Me and her…two people with the same baggage to carry. Then there is Courtney I got to consider here…but she has taken a liking into Mimi."

About a few hours into the show it was almost time for the show to end. Roger went up for near the stage area to watch Lifehouse perform. Courtney was up there with the others while Mark was filming. Everyone was dancing to all the songs the band was playing. However, they all began to notice that Roger was staring at the entrance door the entire night hoping Mimi would come, but he had doubted she would show up. Instead, since it was Christmas Eve, he was more satisfied with spending it with his daughter and his friends. It was his first Christmas in five years where he found himself happy and living again.

"Roger I got to hand it to you," Collins replied dancing with Angel, "This has been one great Christmas Eve. For once we didn't have to worry about anything this holiday season."

"At least you don't have to worry about having our power blown out or eviction," Angel added.

"You could say that again," Roger smiled as he was dancing with his daughter, "So Courtney what do you think? Has this been a good Christmas so far?"

"Yes daddy and I got a lot of presents to open tomorrow morning," Courtney smiled, "But I'm happy to spend Christmas with you."

"That's my girl," Roger added, "Whatever makes you smile, makes daddy happy right?"

"Of course," Courtney said, "Do you think I'll get a present from Santa in the morning?"

"As long as you're a good girl all year I'm sure he can arrange something special for you, besides after all you are daddy's little miracle girl," Roger replied.

"I'll always be your miracle girl daddy," Courtney smiled as she saw Mark filming, "Daddy you have to smile for the camera! Uncle Mark is filming."

"What are you trying to do capture every single candid moment?" Roger teased, "There are a lot of single free chicks here tonight and I haven't seen you at least ask one of them for their numbers. C'mon Mark its Christmas Eve live it up."

"He has a point there Mark," Joanne added as she was with Maureen, "Or buy one of them a drink for that matter."

"I'll pass," Mark replied as he was talking to Roger, "So I see you're holding up quite well."

"C'mon this is Lifehouse man," Roger replied, "You know it took me five months to book them to play here. I figured what better ways to spend Christmas Eve at the House of Blues by having them play for the entertainment of the night."

"That at least can make Roger Davis smile," Mark added, "Or was there something else he also wanted tonight to happen?"

"If you're talking about Mimi…I figured she wouldn't show up," Roger said with a sigh, "She's probably working tonight. I was…aware of that. But it was worth a shot. I didn't want one of my friends to spend Christmas Eve in a rundown strip club."

"You were hoping for her to come," Mark said, "Because you were eyeing the door for the whole night while your favorite band was playing. You paid more attention to the door than to the band tonight. You like her don't you?"

"I…I…okay I do like her," Roger finally admitted, "But…will can she me in me?"

By the end of the night, Lifehouse was almost done with the show. They began to perform their last number which was "You and Me." Everyone on the floor was pairing up to slow dance for this song. Angel and Collins were dancing while Joanne and Maureen were up there. Mark, Roger and Courtney were standing off at the side of the dance floor watching everybody.

"_What day is it? _

_And in what month _

_This clock never seemed so alive _

_I can't keep up and I can't back down _

_I've been losing so much time _

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people '_

_With nothing to do, nothing to lose _

_And it's you and me and all of the people and _

_I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you _

"It's almost midnight and what a better way to start off Christmas," Mark said, "Hey Courtney do you mind sharing a dance with your Uncle Mark?"

"It would be my pleasure Uncle Mark," Courtney smiled as she went ahead, "And daddy can up too. Besides…daddy's wish can come true now."

"What does she mean by that?" Roger asked confused.

"I probably guess…all that waiting has probably paid off Roger," Mark smiled as he turned Roger around towards the door and saw Mimi arrive, "Everyone finally got their wishes fulfilled…including you. Well…go to her then."

Roger headed towards the door and he was surprised to see Mimi there. She was dressed in a Navy blue silk mini dress and high heels. Roger slowly approached her hoping that it wasn't a dream and that she was actually there.

"I guess…Santa left me an early present," Mimi smiled revealing the VIP pass around her neck and the ticket, "I was thinking tonight and I found a note on an envelope saying I am long overdue to repay my debt. I hope you reconsider."

"And did that person finally pay off his overdue debt?" Roger asked.

"You can say that again," Mimi smiled, "He wasn't long overdue…he was on time for once."

"Dance with me?" Roger asked as he took her hand, "It's time I fully repay you back."

"I will…accept," Mimi replied as the two of them dance.

"_All of the things that I want to say _

_Just aren't coming out right _

_I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning _

_I don't know where to go from here _

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people _

_With nothing to do, nothing to prove _

_And it's you and me and all of the people and _

_I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you _

"I wasn't sure…if you were coming tonight," Roger said, "I was sure that you wouldn't come because you were working tonight. I thought…that it would be better if you did spend Christmas Eve somewhere besides the Cat Scratch Club."

"I was on there for awhile but then…I found your envelope with the ticket and pass on my door when I came back," Mimi added, "I went for rehearsals and then I thought…it's Christmas Eve and there was somewhere better to be then stripping."

"Well I thought you wouldn't consider spending Christmas Eve with us," Roger said, "Or…with me for that matter."

"The reason why I took at long was because…okay I admit I wasn't dressed properly for tonight so I had to hit the stores at the last minute," Mini admitted, "Trust me Roger it's hard to find something good to wear on Christmas Eve. Does it look suitable?"

"To me…anything suits you Mimi."

"So…you and I are on this dance floor at the exact moment dancing to Lifehouse and pondering what happens next? I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I'm wondering to myself what is it do I see in Roger Davis? What makes him different from all the other guys I have known? No one is not perfect and life is all about taking a leap of faith. Where do we go from here?"

"You tell me…what happens next. I know right now I'm dancing with Mimi Marquez, the girl from downstairs who happened to once save my life one night and help me find my daughter. I know that she and I are two of a kind because we are carrying the same baggage that will someday put us in our place. I been pondering all night that there is something about this girl that makes me wonder what do I see in her?"

"Just tell me right now," Mimi asked, "What do you want tonight for Christmas?"

"I want…to just hang onto this moment because there's nothing else I want now," Roger smiled as he found himself for the first time sharing a kiss with Mimi, "Because…everything I wished for this Christmas is right here."

"So much for that leap of faith," Mimi smiled, "I guess…I'm looking forward to Christmas morning then with you? But I wouldn't have it any other way. This is the start of something new I guess between you and me. We were finally long overdue for that."

"Merry Christmas Mimi Marquez," Roger smiled, "I guess I've been repaid then."

"You have Roger Davis," Mimi smiled as she kissed him again, "Usually there's suppose to be a mistletoe but don't let the moment die out….it's Christmas and I like it this way."

_Something about you now _

_I can't quite figure out _

_Everything she does is beautiful _

_Everything she does is right _

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people _

_With nothing to do, nothing to lose _

_And it's you and me and all of the people and _

_I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of _

_You and me and all of the people _

_With nothing to do, nothing to prove and _

_It's you and me and all of the people and _

_I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you _

_What day is it? _

_And in what month _

_This clock never seemed so alive_


	9. Intentions

**Chapter 9: Intentions**

**(Author's Notes: **_I was watching Jersey Girl awhile back and I thought about this particular scene from the movie that inspired me for this chapter. For anyone who has seen Jersey Girl or not, it will be featured in this chapter._

"Mr. Davis, you have a visitor," his secretary Hannah paged him.

"Okay Hannah you can send them in," Roger called in from the other end. When the studio door opened, he saw Mimi walk in and he smiled.

"So I see that you're hard at work Mr. Producer," Mimi smiled as she walked up to Roger at the control panels, "Am I interrupting you being here early?"

"It's…not a problem besides you're on time," Roger said, "I finished a bit early than expected today. Courtney is not going to be home until a little after 3pm. The good thing is that at least the school has a school bus system that runs through our neighborhood. So what is going on?"

"Besides teaching and still working at the Cat Scratch Club…I signed up for some late night ballroom classes," Mimi added, "I heard that they're opening auditions again searching for new upcoming dance instructors. There's this elite dance company that is based in London, England and they're looking for some people to teach at one of their dance academies. The auditions are in three months Roger."

"That gives you plenty of time to prepare Mimi…it's only January and the auditions are in April right?" Roger asked, "What about those ballroom classes?"

"Yeah they gave me some guy to pair up with his name is Kyle, he's trying to learn how to dance to Latin," Mimi replied, "He's trying to learn how to dance for his fiancée Rosie."

"At least I wouldn't have to worry about someone hitting on my girl," Roger smiled, "Well I'm done for the day…what do you want to do now?"

"I guess…what we been normally doing the last month," Mimi replied.

When Roger and Mimi got back to the loft, the two of them opened the door and they began to make out. Since Christmas, Roger and Mimi have become extremely close to the point that they have now considered to pursue forgoing a relationship. Once in awhile, the two of them would sneak back to the loft to spend some quality time together without any interruptions. It was hard at first for Roger to hide from their friends his intentions for Mimi, but reluctantly they all wanted the two of them to be happy.

"Great no one is home right now," Roger smiled as he pulled Mimi inside and the two began to make out, "Mark is probably at work and Courtney won't be home for awhile.

"The others know about us right?" Mimi asked as the two of them were kissing each other, "I mean…you're technically still married and all and we been sneak around for about a month now back and forth between your office and your loft like two rebel teenagers."

"Where do you see this going right now?" Roger replied, "I mean…right now you and me are having casual sex in my loft and our friends know about our intentions for each other. I still love April…but I'm still debating the whole relationship thing."

"Probably because of the whole baggage thing…is it possible to work around that?"

"Maybe…I guess but there's one person I need to consider here," Roger sighed as he was pulling away, "It's…Courtney I'm worried about."

"Oh your daughter," Mimi said as they were about to undress, "You're worried about what will happen if she finds out about her us…or whatever the heck we're doing. She seems to like me what is the matter?"

"It's been five years…since I last had you know," Roger hesitated, "And not to mention the fact you and I are both infected with…"

"I know…but c'mon live it up," Mimi smiled.

The next minute they heard the loft door open and Courtney has just arrived home from school. Mimi and Roger stopped when they heard the door open and they were shocked when they heard Courtney. The two of them quickly sneaked into the bathroom and hid in the tub as Roger turned on the water.

"Uncle Mark I'm home!" Courtney yelled as she walked around the loft and ended up in the bathroom, "Uncle Mark?"

"No sweetie it's me," Roger replied from within the tub.

"Daddy why are you home early?" Courtney asked, "Why aren't you at work?"

"I came home…early to surprise you besides Uncle Mark is not here," Roger said nervous.

"Oh okay…can we rent a movie later?"

"Yeah sure anything you want Courtney," Roger quickly replied as Courtney left, "Let me finish up and we'll head out to the movie store." Roger then turned to Mimi, "Shit that was close."

"Roger I'm wet," Mimi whispered, "What do we do now?" The next minute Courtney came back into the bathroom.

"I almost forgot to flush the toilet," Courtney said as she flushed the toilet. The next minute the water in the tub got hot and both Roger and Mimi screamed. Courtney pulled the shower curtain back and she was surprised to find both her dad and her dance teacher in the tub together. She jaw dropped at the sight of her teacher in her bra and pants and her dad without his shirt on and only with his jeans on, "Daddy?"

"Huh…hi honey…huh…" Roger paused as he thought of what to say next, "Huh you remember Mimi right your dance teacher?"

A few minutes later, the three of them conveyed in the living room as Courtney sat on the couch while Roger and Mimi sat on the coffee table with towels over them. It was a few minutes of awkward silence as this was a predicament they winded up in.

"So…huh…are you and my daddy…" Courtney tried to ask a question but she couldn't.

"Alright huh let try," Roger sighed, "Is there anything you want to ask daddy Courtney?"

"What are your intentions?" Courtney asked.

"I beg your pardon," Mimi replied.

"What…are your intentions with my daddy?" Courtney asked Mimi, "Do you like my daddy? Is Mimi going to be my new mommy?

"Huh…I don't…"

"Uncle Mark says that only married girls show their girl parts to married boys. Is Uncle Mark right daddy?"

"Huh yes he is," Roger answered slowly, "Huh…in some sort of way."

"Um huh…can you rent me A Walk to Remember?"

"Honey you know that's a bit too grown up for you," Roger replied, "You know that it's PG and I don't think you can watch that because you're only six years old."

"Oh what am I going to tell Uncle Mark about the two of you?" Courtney sighed with a grin on her face, "He would be mad if he found out what you two do during the day."

"Fine for God's sakes yes, yes, I'll rent it for you," Roger answered.

"You know what…you can borrow my copy of the movie," Mimi answered, "You can borrow anything you want and I'll even give you extra dance lessons on the house. If that means we're you know…not in trouble?"

"Okay then," Courtney smiled, "I'm happy now…so are you going to ask my daddy out on another date again? Uncle Mark and the others say that you two like each other and that you should go out again."

"How do you know about that?" Roger asked shocked, "Has your Uncle Mark been telling you late night bedtime stories I am not aware of Courtney Josephine Davis?"

"No I just hear what grown ups talk about," Courtney smiled, "Will you play tea party with me? I won't tell anyone about what I saw today."

"Whatever you want," Mimi smiled as Courtney brought her toy tea set out into the living room, "So how do we play?"

Mark arrived back home with the others awhile later and found Roger and Mimi covered in towels and the two of them playing tea party with Courtney. After Courtney left the room, the others then began their own interrogation on both Roger and Mimi to explain why they were wet and what was going on.

"Courtney came home a bit early than expected," Roger sighed, "Mimi and I were huh here in the loft making out and stuff. We hid in the bathroom in the tub…and then…"

"Let me guess Courtney busted in on your little bang parade?" Angel teased, "You two need a better romantic getaway than this old loft."

"C'mon Angel give us a break here," Mimi sighed, "We didn't do anything bad."

"I hope you two didn't do it on my bed?" Mark teased, "I don't want my bed tainted."

"Yeah don't worry we didn't burn a hole through your bed," Roger sarcastically joked, "And quit feeding my little girl late night bedtime stories I don't know about. You're going to corrupt my daughter's fragile mind."

"So what did you tell our dear little niece about your recent daytime activities that we're not obvious about?" Collins asked, "Which one of you two want to share all the dirt Roger or Mimi?"

"It's been…going on for a month," Mimi answered, "Roger and I…have been doing this either at the office or here in the loft. It's just casual sex that's it…nothing else."

"Meems sugar I know there's more to that," Angel smiled, "Unless you aren't telling us."

"So…what you two just call up each other for a banging session whenever you feel like it and that's it?" Maureen asked, "Either that is freaky and weird or the pair of you are pathetic enough to attempt to forgo a relationship here. C'mon Christmas all of us were fully aware you two have a thing for each other. Roger…you admitted you like Mimi and it is obvious that Mimi you're interest in Roger. The two of you are a match made in heaven."

"Maureen they're mature adults they have to figure out something," Joanne added, "Either they can forgo a normal relationship without sneaking around or they can continue their full blown banging session or whatever the heck they call it."

"Would you guys like give us a minute to discuss this in private?" Roger asked as he took Mimi into his bedroom, "C'mon we got to talk."

"You've been his roommate for five years Mark and you were not aware of this?" Angel teased.

"Hey I'm not home half the time," Mark sighed, "Besides…I don't know what Roger does during the days when I'm not at home…at least I kind of figured out one of his daytime activities involving banging Mimi for casual sex and make out sessions."

_Roger's Bedroom…_

"I guess the cat's out of the bag then?" Mimi asked, "They're aware of the fact that we have this little fling going on and Christmas Time…it was the holiday."

"I'm really bad at this…I'm a walking disaster keeping secrets," Roger replied as his beeper went off signaling his AZT break, "So much for keeping priorities straight huh? We sneaked around for over a month with this trying to keep it low but then it comes out in the open. I'm really sorry about this…I know that this is not how we wanted to make our intentions known right?"

"What intentions do you have right now?" Mimi asked, "Do we take their advice and…pursue forgoing a real relationship?"

"I haven't figured out what I wanted to do after April died except focus on Courtney…but I've never thought of what I wanted for myself," Roger said.

"Like we had our little fun sneaking around but…we have to be realistic Roger. I do…really like you and all and I don't want to pressure you to forgo a relationship you're hesitating to be in. It's okay but we had our fun while it lasted and I understand. God forbid that this relationship will be a walking disaster because of what we have inside of us and priorities that come first before everything else."

"I want…a relationship Mimi," Roger slowly answered, "A real one…something to pursue if it's not too much? You think…you can handle a walking disaster like me as a boyfriend? Do you want to contend with someone who is disgruntled about life, a former junkie, single father raising a six year old daughter who is HIV positive? You think you can handle someone who has forgotten how to be in a real relationship after five years? I do…like you a lot Mimi and I don't know…how to handle all of this alone."

"Are those your true intentions Roger?" Mimi asked, "You think…I can't handle pursuing a real relationship? How much baggage do you think you can handle coming from a girlfriend like me? I question if you can put up with a HIV positive dancer who carried a drug habit and is considered a home wrecker? I haven't been in apart of real relationship in a long time and it this is a relationship based on trust, loyalty and communication…I want to be in it."

"Intentionally…I want to rediscover living again," Roger smiled taking her hand, "I think…I am long overdue for that."

"Probably you are," Mimi smiled as the two began to kiss, "I guess…this means no more sneaking around and banging sessions. From now on…it's official we're a couple in a relationship with one another."

"I guess that means it's out in the open," Roger smiled, "So…what do we do to mark the beginning of this relationship of ours?"

"Well we had our first date which turned out to be a disaster," Mimi added, "But…there's always a second chance of a first date. This time…we'll stay in to be on the safe side. How about dinner and movie in tomorrow night to mark the start of our relationship?"

"I think that is a safeguard date then," Roger smiled as the two of them kissed each other, "I guess we broadcast the news to the others then…and Courtney."

_Living Room…_

"They been in there for a little while now," Angel replied, "I guess they're talking about something big."

"Or probably pondering if they're planning to bang on Mark's bed tomorrow?" Collins teased.

"Shut up Collins!" Mark replied, "You know how to rattle people." A minute later Roger and Mimi came out of the bedroom this time holding hands.

"I see you guys have come up with a decision," Maureen smiled, "Is this an official sanctioned relationship or another booty call?"

"Stop Maureen…this is serious," Roger smiled, "Mimi and I…are going to attempt to pursue a relationship, despite the common baggage we both carry we made our intentions noted and I hope you all can stop bothering me now to move on with my life."

"Finally thank God for that," Joanne replied, "It took Roger Davis five years to finally find a new girlfriend. C'est la vie…welcome back to the land of the living."

"Thank you Miss Jefferson," Mimi smiled as her and Roger took a seat on the couch, "We'll go slow then we'll see where things go from there." Courtney came into the living room and found her dad and her aunts and uncles sitting and chatting.

"Daddy what is going on?" Courtney asked.

"Listen Courtney…there's something I should tell you," Roger replied as he put his daughter on his lap, "Mimi and I…we've decided as of today that we're going to pursue a relationship or attempt one."

"Does that mean you two are going to start dating each other?" Courtney asked, "Is Mimi going to be your new girlfriend daddy?"

"You…can say that in a way," Roger smiled as he took Mimi's hand, "But there's one person who I need approval from…my little miracle girl. Are you fine that daddy starts dating your dance teacher?"

"Do you like her?" Courtney asked as she turned to Mimi, "Do you have intentions for my father? Do you like him?"

"Yes I do…if that is okay with you?" Mimi asked, "Do we have permission to date each other Courtney?"

"Whatever makes daddy happy…I'm happy," Courtney smiled, "I really like you Mimi and I know my daddy thinks you're sexy."

"Since when did my little miracle girl's mouth suddenly go from G rated to PG rated?" Roger teased, "Which one of you lots let my kid watch movies and shows I am not fully aware of? I know this has this written all over you Mark."

"Don't look at me…besides she's a little sly fox like her father when it comes to blackmailing and manipulation," Mark replied, "All I'm doing to showing Courtney the light."

"Whatever," Roger replied as he turned to Mimi, "So what do you want to watch tomorrow?"

"Let me think…A Walk to Remember," Mimi smiled, "I thought since I'll bring the movie, you can provide dinner."

"Our first agreement as a couple," Roger smiled kissing Mimi, "This time…I'll cook dinner."

"Gross daddy and Mimi are smooching," Courtney whined, "I think I'm going to play Barbie dolls now! This is nasty…but I am still happy you two are dating now."

"Roger Davis is going to cook dinner tomorrow?" Mimi asked, "I…like that although you said that Roger Davis doesn't specialize in cooking and that he specializes in songwriting."

"There are some things Mimi Marquez that can surprise you," Roger smiled, "Life is all a leap of faith right?"

"_Oh brother…I'll like to see how that will turn out,"_ the others thought, _"Roger cooking…this is going to be another adventure for that poor boy."_


	10. Dinner and a Movie

**Chapter 10: Dinner and a Movie**

Roger was pondering what the heck he was going to cook tonight for dinner, but the problem is he didn't how to cook anything. Mark knew how to cook a little bit, but the probability of any of Mark's dishes turning out good was a toss up. _"What the heck am I going to cook tonight?" _It was the only thought that Roger can think about. Mark planned to take Courtney out for a few hours to give Roger and Mimi some alone time in the loft and he provided Roger a recipe to cook chicken casserole. He came in the loft hoping that Mark will aid him in preparing dinner but instead he found Mark getting ready to leave.

"Wait a minute Mark…where the heck are you going?" Roger asked as he set the groceries down on the table, "I thought…you were going to help me cook before you and Courtney leave."

"Well Roger…there's been a change of plans," Mark sighed, "Alexi called and there's been an emergency at the studio. Someone in the editing department messed up on the editing on one of segments to air next week. I…got to head down to the studio to fix up."

"Hey! You can't leave Courtney here…you promise to take her out!" Roger complained, "Can't you at least take her to work with you for awhile? Mimi's coming over in a little while and I told her it was just me and her here!"

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" Mark replied, "I can't take Courtney to Buzzline! Children are prohibited from entering the studios! I'm sorry Roger but she has to stay…even if it means you got to juggle both your little dinner and babysitting your daughter."

"And you're going to bail out on helping me prepare this chicken casserole?" Roger added, "I am sorry for taking long at the market but there's was so much bloody traffic! I don't know how to cook a chicken casserole!"

"Exactly who was the one to agree to cook dinner for their girlfriend?" Mark said as he was heading out the door, "I informed Courtney of the situation and she fully understands so unless you can try to get a hold of the others to look after your kid…you're stuck with her. I got to head out to do some damage control. The instructions are on the fridge just follow them it's not hard…as long as you bought the proper ingredients. Have a fun night…take your AZT."

"Mark wait…I don't even know how to decipher it," Roger sighed as he started dialing his friends to baby sit Courtney.

"Daddy what's going on?" Courtney came into the living room dressed up.

"I'm just going to see if any one of these guys is available to look after you tonight since Uncle Mark had to be a jerk and bail out," Roger said as he first dialed Joanne and Maureen's number, "Hey Maureen, it's Roger…what's up?"

"Okay so you're calling us to say what's up unless you need a favor?" Maureen replied, "If you're looking for a babysitter for Courtney we can't do it tonight."

"How the heck did you know?" Roger asked.

"Oh c'mon Roger we know Mimi's coming over and judging that Mark might have bailed out on you…make that three," Joanne said on the other end, "Maureen's leaving for an acting workshop tonight and I have dinner with some clients. I guess…she's staying in with you and Mimi tonight for your little dinner date. Sorry Roger we got to go now bye."

"Aunt Maureen and Aunt Joanne can't babysit me?" Courtney asked, "Are you going to call Uncle Collins and Aunt Angel?"

"That's worth another shot," Roger said as he was dialing and trying to prepare the chicken casserole, "Shit how much of this stuff do I have to add in…dammit this is harder than…oh Collins it' Roger."

"If you're asking us to babysit the answer is no," Collins replied on the other end, "I am late for an open house at NYU and Angel is out at Life Support and if you're going to try reaching her cell, batteries dead ."

"You didn't give me the chance to ask you," Roger complained, "How come you guys don't give me the chance to ask first."

"Because we know you too well Roger and besides she's your daughter for Christ's sake so you have to take some responsibility," Collins replied on the other end, "Look you can't dump her on us half the time and you got to deal with trying to accommodate looking after your kid even if it means it will put a damper on your date…but that's what responsibility is all about Roger. Anyways I'm behind schedule and I got to leave. Bye."

"Ungrateful bastards…leaving me alone to fend for myself," Roger complained as suddenly he realized that he forgot to turn down the heat on the stove as the water boiled and overflow.

"Daddy…the stove is steaming!" Courtney replied.

"Oh crap dammit I must have left the water boiling too high!" Roger panic as he tried to clean up the stove, "Dammit…I must have left the chicken in there too long! Listen I'm sorry…but I guess you're staying in with me tonight."

"It's okay…I know Mimi is coming over," Courtney said, "I can be quiet if you want…I'm sorry for ruining your plans daddy."

"Hey c'mon here it's not your fault," Roger sighed as he gave his daughter a hug, "I know that all this stuff going on right now is new to you and I understand it will take some time to adjust. But no matter what happens…you will always be my first priority in life okay? I promise you that you and me right?"

"I know daddy…but I hope you're happy too," Courtney said as pointed to the stove, "Huh daddy…the stove…"

"Oh c'mon give me a break," Roger sighed as he turned to Courtney, "Hey honey why don't you go play for a little while daddy tries to attempt to salvage what is left of his poor attempt of chicken casserole."

Unfortunately, Roger was having a terrible time trying to cook a chicken casserole. He literally dirtied up the recipe sheet making it difficult to read the instructions. Roger made a complete mess in the kitchen. First, his vegetables were chopped up like shredded pieces of paper, he completely burnt the onion and garlic when he was frying it and then the fire alarm started going off in the loft. Smoke started filling the kitchen as he realized he overcooked his chicken and from then on out, everything went chaotic. Soon he found himself covered with stains and vegetables and ingredients scattered all over the place.

"Daddy is the loft smoking up?" Courtney asked, "What's going on daddy? Is the loft on fire?"

"I got it under control…huh there's no worries," Roger sighed as he started opening all the windows to let the smoke out, "Courtney open your bedroom window just in case and close your door okay? Daddy has it under control. Fuck the chicken is overcooked! Oh no the onions and garlic are burnt! Damn this is harder than usual how do women do this?" Soon he turned on the fan on the stove as he was trying to clear out the smoke and turn off everything that he didn't notice Mimi come in.

"Hello? Roger are you here?" Mimi called, "Roger are you…oh my gosh Roger?" She was surprised to find her newly boyfriend trying to salvage some control in the kitchen.

"Hey huh…Mimi I didn't see huh…you coming in early…" Roger replied embarrassed, "Oh crap I look like shit…this wasn't suppose to happen…I'm sorry."

"I guess…you been busy I see," Mimi smiled, "I can tell from the work that has been done to your kitchen."

"Everything is not going as I planned for the both of us tonight," Roger sighed, "It was just suppose to be you and me alone in the loft, but I couldn't find someone to take care of Courtney for the night…I'm terribly sorry."

"Roger you have a daughter and as your obligations as a father you have to look after Courtney," Mimi added, "I understand that and your priorities as a father comes first I know that for a fact and our friends are trying to teach you a lesson in responsibility. Besides I don't mind it at all and I am fine with it."

"Look I'm sorry…I'm horrible at stuff like this and everything hasn't been going right the whole entire night," Roger sighed trying to clean up, "I can't even follow simple instructions to cook a chicken casserole. I wanted…to make a good impression to show you I tried cooking but look at what I created…chaos and disorder in my own kitchen. I told you I'm not much of a cook. I look like a complete mess and this is not how I wanted our first night together to turn out."

"Roger you don't need to impress me that much. I don't care if you can't cook or not what I admire is the effort and the attempt you made. I know you wanted to show me that you can cook although you don't have one clue what you're doing…but no one is perfect. I like you for who you are that is why I'm here tonight."

"But I didn't want to screw up things the second time around Mimi…I wanted to make sure that the second time around I don't repeat the same mistakes twice. I guess…I'm not the idealistic boyfriend you're with or your idea of a second first date."

"No…you're not my idealistic boyfriend who is flawless," Mimi said as she started bushing off the leftover scraps of chopped vegetables off of him, "You're not perfect and you got baggage that goes with mine…but you're perfect for me. C'mon the least I can do is help you clean up and we'll discuss what we'll do about dinner then."

"Thanks Mimi," Roger smiled, "I really appreciate that…I don't know how women managed to find cooking easy."

"Well it's in our nature," Mimi replied as she observed what Roger tried to cook, "I see it was chicken casserole you were attempting to make? It would be terrible to waste all of these groceries you bought…but somehow I think we can salvage and make something else. The chicken still looks okay to cook and you still have plenty of vegetables. Here…you can still provide a home cook meal with all this stuff you got."

"Mimi the kitchen is in utter chaos," Roger sighed, "I couldn't follow a simple sheet of paper."

"We're not going to waste perfectly good ingredients…we'll cook together," Mimi smiled, "This way you can still give a meal cooked by you. I think you might need some more salt since you're out…I got some in my apartment. Why don't you go and fetch it Roger? I'll straighten up here and keep an eye out on Courtney okay?"

"So where do I find the salt?" Roger asked, "Whereabouts is it?"

"In the kitchen in the upper cupboard near to the stove," Mimi answered, "I'll finish straighten up and I'll keep an eye on Courtney okay? Don't worry I got everything under control. Here's the key to my place. You can go fetch the salt." Mimi tossed the key to Roger as he left.

"Daddy the loft is not smoking anymore can I…oh hi Mimi!" Courtney smiled as she was in her pajamas, "Where's daddy? Did he go somewhere?"

"Yeah your daddy had to go get some salt for a minute," Mimi replied as she finished straighten up the kitchen and continued cooking, "So how's it going little one? I'm sorry that you couldn't go out to the movies tonight."

"It's okay I'm not mad," Courtney replied as she took a seat at the table, "I like it when I'm with daddy because it's so much fun."

"Your dad is a fun person to hang out with," Mimi smiled, "So how was your day cutie?"

"I was playing at Dawn Miller's house today and she showed me her new piano," Courtney replied, "Dawn plays piano and she was teaching me how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…but Dawn likes to play piano music that is very hard to play. She told me about this guy named Mozart who wrote Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when he was three years old. Mozart was a musician."

"He was a musician…they called him a child prodigy," Mimi replied, "Mozart was musically cline when he was small."

"What is a prodigy?" Courtney asked, "Is that you call someone who is born like a super kid?"

"You could say that he was actually…" Before Mimi could finish Courtney suddenly fell out of her chair as she literally fainted, "Courtney! Oh my gosh are you okay?" Mimi ran to the little girl as Roger came back with the salt and saw his daughter on the floor.

"Oh shit Courtney!" Roger came in running towards his daughter, "Hey sweetie c'mon it's daddy…are you okay? Answer me tiny c'mon."

"I just…feel tired daddy…I feel dizzy," Courtney sighed, "Daddy…I need my insulin."

"Mimi there's a black pouch on the counter get me that please!" Roger replied as Mimi fetched the black pouch with Courtney's insulin. He injected his daughter with her insulin as she suddenly fell asleep as Roger carried her into her bedroom, "There…she's asleep for now. This happens most of the time whenever her sugar level is low. I have to check her sugar level on a regular basis and give her a daily injection of insulin."

"It must be hard for Courtney being born diabetic. I know you car about the wellbeing of your daughter a lot and you are excellent of handling injecting a needle into her," Mimi said as the food was ready, "Well everything is ready now. So let's eat then and then we can watch."

"You brought the movie…I can't believe I'm going to watch A Walk to Remember," Roger said as the two began to eat their dinner, "Roger Davis doesn't watch chick flicks but I know Mimi Marquez does."

"Oh quit being sarcastic you big baby," Mimi teased, "A Walk to Remember is based on a book by Nicholas Sparks and it tells a story about finding true love at the age of seventeen. If you have a sensitive side to you Roger it's worth picking up the book and reading it. I tell you when I first read the book…it made me cry a lot because it was both romantic and sad."

"C'mon a book like that can't be all sappy," Roger complained, "It's just another paperback."

"Maybe you can read this book to Courtney…I know she's only six years old but if she's a bit older then read it to her," Mimi suggested, "Hey…you agreed to let her watch A Walk to Remember since it is rated PG. So what interest her into watching it?"

"We were renting movies a few weeks back at the video store," Roger replied, "The video store was playing A Walk to Remember and then she told me that the movie was so romantic that she wanted to watch it. I obviously told her she was too young to watch it…but then when she found out about our little booty calls then she used that as blackmail against us. Hey it's not my fault she picked up on some of her dad's tricky habits."

"Like father, like daughter I would say," Mimi replied, "C'mon let's finish eating and then we'll watch okay?"

After Mimi and Roger had dinner, the two of them went to relax in the living room as they were watching A Walk to Remember. The first hour he found the movie a bit dull because it he thought it was just another movie about a boy meeting a shy girl, falling in love and they live happily ever after. Roger had his arm around Mimi as he saw Mimi tearing up at certain parts of the movie. _"Talk about being sappy," _Roger thought, _"Whoever this actor is playing this guy is pretty pathetic and the girl is not much of a work of art too."_ However, the movie was beginning to get to Roger at one point. There was a particular scene where the girl was performing a song called "Only Hope" in the play scene.

"This is my favorite part it's coming up now," Mimi whispered, "I love how Jamie sings that song Only Hope as Landon watches her. Like she dresses up terribly but when Landon saw her with the makeup on and the blue dress…he fell in love with her. It was like he saw a different side of Jamie that night of the play."

"Okay let's just watch the movie right now," Roger smiled, "I haven't watch A Walk to Remember so yeah…I like to watch it."

"I like Shane West in this movie," Mimi added, "Mandy Moore is also good too."

"So that's the actors in this chick flick?" Roger asked.

"Your face... you looked so familiar. Like this dame I knew once, only... It wasn't real, it was a dream," Mimi said imitating the lines from the movie, "Tell me about this dream girl. Well, I don't... remember. All I know…Is you're beautiful. The dream... Help me to remember. Will you sing for me?" Mimi started tearing up when she heard the song and then suddenly Roger was getting into the movie as he was captivated by the emotion.

"That…was so sweet when he kissed her at the end of the performance," Roger slowly whispered, "I…think that wasn't part of the play was it?"

"Are you crying?" Mimi asked leaning against Roger, "You're crying…Roger Davis is actually crying for the first time during a chick flick. I thought you were all Mr. Tough Guy and moody. I knew that if I showed you this movie you would actually show some emotion for once."

"Huh…I got something caught in my eye. I wasn't crying…I swear to God Mimi I wasn't crying…it's just my eye is bugging me. Alright I thought it was sweet because all of a sudden Landon is falling in love with Jamie. For a guy who's a delinquent the last person he expected to fall in love with is the reverend's daughter who wants to witness a miracle."

"It's okay I won't tell anyone that Mr. Tough Guy cried during a chick flick. It is a sweet story because it's a story about love and innocence that happened at the age of seventeen. In a way Landon rediscovers the meaning of love through Jamie Sullivan, the reverend's daughter. It was like he didn't know where his life was going until he met her. She was the one person who forever changed his life. She comes off as like a born again Christian who believes that everything happens because it is the will of God but there is so much to the story than you'll imagine. Most people who read this book can relate to it."

"Is the movie and the book different?" Roger asked, "I know that this movie is based on a book but the movie is an adaptation of the book. Hollywood likes to regenerate money on movies based on books."

"It's the same idea but the book is true," Mimi added, "Maybe one day I'll ensure that you read the book and then you can compare the two." They paused the movie as Courtney was calling for Roger.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Courtney was calling from her bedroom, "Daddy!"

"I guess…duty calls then," Roger replied as him and Mimi got up from the couch and headed to Courtney's bedroom, "Hey tiny you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay daddy…but I can't sleep," Courtney sighed, "Can you tell me a story…the both of you please?"

"I'm not…really good at story telling," Roger said, "You want to help me on this one?"

"Okay let me think," Mimi smiled as the two of them sat on the bed, "There was once a young man who lived life being born to be bad. He was a wild child living life on the edge until one day he found himself in big trouble. The young man didn't know where his life was going until he meant the minister's daughter. The minister's daughter was about the same age as this boy but she was kind of an odd ball. Roger I believe you can take it from here." Roger exactly knew the story Mimi was telling Courtney was her children's version of A Walk to Remember.

"The girl was an outsider, the guy was the most popular guy in school," Roger said, "He knew this girl since they were little but never paid attention to her. The girl was hoping for one day to witness a miracle. The two of them winded up in a school play together with the leading roles. The night of the play, the guy began to fall in love with the girl and after the last scene…he kissed her."

"So what happens next?" Courtney asked as she started falling asleep, "Did the guy and girl live happily ever after?"

"That is for another night," Roger smiled as he gave his daughter a kiss, "C'mon tiny it's off to bed. Goodnight Courtney…sleep tight."

"Goodnight daddy," Courtney smiled, "Goodnight…Mimi thanks for the story."

"Hey no problem," Mimi replied as they exited the room, "Well I guess…this is a good way to end off the night. I didn't expect to tell the children's version of A Walk to Remember to Courtney tonight. Usually the novel is for young adults."

"I'm not good with story telling usually the stories we end up telling her is gossip," Roger laughed, "Any dirt that Mark or the others can find on me turns into one of Courtney's bedtime stories for the night. But I'm glad that was a nice story to tell her. That is not how the story ends right?"

"In reality…the story will make you cry more than you imagine," Mimi added, "It is a romantic novel…but also one that deals with some heartbreak and tragedy. However I'm not going to give away the rest of the story. If you want to know how the story goes…I suggest you pick up the book and read it."

"I'll take that into consideration," Roger smiled as the two began kissing, "Does it have a happy ending?"

"It all depends on how you interpret the story," Mimi smiled kissing back, "You can say…that as of this moment you're living the story and how the ending goes is entirely up to you."


	11. A Bohemian Birthday

**Chapter 11: A Bohemian Birthday **

It was around the time of February and spring was almost arriving soon. Roger and Mimi's relationship was going strong as usual. Once in awhile whenever Roger wasn't busy, he would come down to one of Mimi's late night ballroom classes she was taking. His relationship with Courtney was still going strong as it seems and Roger knew that his daughter's birthday was coming up in a few days. One night after Roger picked up Mimi and Courtney from the Community Center, they went to the Life Café to meet up with the others for dinner.

"So little chica, your birthday is coming up in 3 days," Angel replied, "Is there anything in particular you want?"

"Well…I want some new clothes, toys, new movies, and jewelry," Courtney smiled, "Will you guys throw me a birthday party?"

"Oh I'm sorry Courtney…you see we don't think we can make it," Collins said, "You see I have to work that day and so do all of us."

"It's not fair!" Courtney sighed, "Why can't we do something cool for my birthday?"

"We promise…we'll make it up to you somehow," Maureen said, "Don't worry…we promise."

"Hey I'll tell you what…why don't you and me go watch a show for your birthday?" Roger smiled to his daughter, "I'll let you pick out a Broadway show you want to watch and we can see it for your birthday. How does that sound?"

"Will Mimi come too?" Courtney asked.

"I'm sorry…but I have to work that day," Mimi replied, "Besides I think it's a good idea that you take up on your father's offer. He is treating you for your birthday and besides…you and your daddy will get to go on a little date for your birthday. He wants to do something special for your birthday and this is something that will mean a lot to him."

"So tiny what do you say?" Roger asked, "Will you like to go out on a date with your father for your birthday?"

"Is it just you and me?" Courtney asked, "After everyone can't come?"

"Everyone is bailing out on you…but I'm sure not bailing out on my little miracle girl," Roger said, "Is there a show you want to see?"

"I think I have one in mind," Courtney smiled hugging her dad, "I'll go out with you for my birthday. Huh I need to go to the washroom first daddy." Courtney got up from the table and went to the washroom while the others talked.

"You know we're lying to her," Mark said, "Have you bought the extra cans of paint yet and the new wallpaper?"

"I already got it," Roger said, "Huh…Benny is coming by just to double check on that extension we made to the loft. Besides…we tore down that old wall on the other end to add another room in the loft. I just feel bad that it had to be my daughter's room that had most of the damage done."

"I know and I can't to see the look on her face when she sees the surprise she'll get," Joanne added, "Does she suspect anything Roger?"

"Actually no…because I told Courtney that one of the pipes busted again in her bedroom so she wouldn't be able to sleep in there for awhile," Roger added, "Mark and I moved all of her stuff out of there so it would give you guys time to renovate her bedroom. She deserves a new bedroom…I was long overdue to do it with everything that has happened. So how is the renovation coming along?"

"It's almost going to be done," Mimi replied, "We're trying to have it done by her birthday so we can plan a surprise party for her and then show Courtney her new bedroom. All you have to do is keep her occupied until it's ready. You know its hard sneaking back and forth during the day trying to finish up the painting, the wallpaper, and the new furniture. The guys finished the painting so they're waiting for the paint to dry. The wallpaper will take another day to finish up."

"I know because you guys don't think I can manage handy work," Roger teased, "All I have to do is the distraction aspect right while you guys take credit for my plan?"

"Be happy at least that you get to spend time with your daughter while we do all the work for you Roger," Collins replied, "Courtney is getting a lot more than you expect this year for her birthday. I saw that new digital keyboard in the loft. Was that one of her presents?"

"She knows about that and besides she seems to enjoy it," Roger smiled, "She maybe a bit deaf tone trying to play…but she'll learn. After all she does have her father's musical talents. I have another Davis child prodigy in the making."

"Just make sure she doesn't step into the bedroom later on," Mark said, "You and I are going to work on the bedroom when she is asleep. We have to start putting up the wallpaper around the room. What about the bed and furniture?"

"I'll take that stuff to the goodwill store in the morning," Roger said, "Courtney's new bed and table is coming in tomorrow. I assume that the shelves are finished now. The next thing on the list is the food and cake and decorations."

"I'll pick up the cake on her birthday," Angel added, "Mimi and I will prepare the food and all of us have already bought Courtney her presents."

"Then that leaves me with picking the show to watch on Saturday," Roger said, "But what's a good show that is appropriate for a seven year old girl?"

"Whatever you pick…we'll make sure to have the stuff done by 7:00pm on Saturday," Mimi said giving Roger a kiss, "I'll make sure of that. If I were you…what about taking Courtney to watch Mamma Mia. It's a nice show I hear and it's about PG rated for her taste."

"That can work but I don't know anything about Abba," Roger added, "Okay I'll talk to her about that but make sure the deadline is Saturday night by 7pm everything has to be ready. I'll get a show in the afternoon at around 2pm okay? I'll try to get Courtney out of the house at around 7:30am Saturday morning okay? Call if there is any issues okay?"

_3 days later…_

The day of Courtney's birthday came. As promised, Roger took his daughter out for her 7th birthday. He felt like a proud father that his little girl was getting older each day. Roger took Courtney around Time Square for some shopping before they headed to the theatre to watch Mamma Mia. Courtney was happy to see her first Broadway show and it Roger was glad to see to see his daughter smile. Both of them were dressed in semi-formal clothing for the show. After the show, the two of them went down for a walk in Central Park and did a bit more sight seeing hand in hand.

"So what did you think of the show?" Roger asked his daughter, "Did you like it?"

"Yeah it was a good show…I like the seats we got," Courtney replied, "So the whole show was about a wedding and the girl trying to find out between those three guys who her father is?"

"That's the main plot," Roger added, "Actually the songs were based on the hits of a band called Abba. They were a pop band back way before you were born. They were around when I was very young during the time of disco."

"So the songs in Mamma Mia were based on a band named Abba?" Courtney asked.

"That's correct young Courtney Josephine Davis," Roger smiled holding his daughter's hand.

"You like teaching me about music daddy. I know that you would make a good music producer and songwriter because I know you write good songs. I believe in you daddy and one day I want to be like you. Have you written any new songs?"

"I have sweetie and I promise when I finish them you'll be the first person to hear them. I'm happy that you're enjoying your birthday. I told you that daddy holds up on his promises now. I'll let you in on a little secret…I've been working on some new demos and new remixes with some of the recording artists that I've been working with. They want to offer daddy an opportunity to work with Cardigan Records in Santa Fe. My boss sent some of my demos in to see if they would consider me to come aboard."

"Where's Santa Fe daddy?" Courtney asked.

"It's out west on the other end of the country," Roger replied, "Finally…things are looking better than ever. I can find one blaze of glory through this. Do you believe that Cardigan Records would like daddy's music he creates and write?"

"I think you're the best songwriter in the world daddy and they would be dumb not to listen to you!" Courtney added, "One blaze of glory you say. You have to find glory right? Have you heard anything yet?"

"Not that I know of," Roger sighed, "But…I still got dreams to remember and I have to wait for now until something happens. At least right now I can enjoy my date here with my little miracle birthday girl. Are you enjoying your birthday?"

"Yeah because you and I are on a date," Courtney smiled holding her dad's hand, "Don't worry daddy I'm sure everything will be alright and Cardigan Records will like your music. You said it's your dream and I want to see you smile always. Daddy…did you ever play for mommy? Did she ever like your music?"

"Your mother was my biggest fan," Roger said, "I met your mom a long time ago at a gig that I was playing and from then on out we got together. I married her about 6 months later. I proposed to her at a Bon Jovi concert. I still keep my wedding ring as a memory of her."

"What was mommy like?" Courtney asked, "Do you miss mommy?"

"I miss your mother everyday," Roger sighed, "I promise you to tell you anything you wanted to know about her so I'll hold true to that word. Sometimes your mother had your wild side that's what attracted me to her. She was very intelligence when it came to music knowledge and she did a lot of collecting…mostly vintage records. I know you would like to hear about her. She always liked hearing stories I would tell her about anything…just like you."

"So I guess mommy and I are alike?" Courtney asked.

"Well she was sometimes very curious like you, pushy in a way like you and she was the most beautiful woman I ever fell for," Roger said, "She was highly smart than you could possibly imagine what you'll turn out to be one day. You remind me so much of her and it doesn't hurt much anymore missing her because I see a lot of your mother in you. I tell you that your mother and I did something right in our lives with you. She would be proud of the little girl you turned out to be now."

"She would be happy for the two of us," Courtney replied, "I like it when you tell me stories about mommy so I learn more about her. I wish…she was here for my birthday so she can celebrate with us."

"Would…you like to visit mommy for your birthday?" Roger asked, "She would have probably wanted to celebrate your birthday with you. What…do you say? Would you like that?"

"Okay I would like that," Courtney said, "Can we buy some flowers for mommy? We can tell her about everything with Santa Fe and Mimi."

"Anything you want," Roger said, "So shall we go?"

Roger and Courtney went to Haven Memorial Gardens a little while later. The two of them spent some time for awhile visiting April's grave. Both of them were trading stories of what was going on in their lives right now and Roger even told about his relationship with Mimi and the offer of Cardigan Records in Santa Fe. He watched as his daughter was talking to April's grave about her birthday today and her plans.

"Like mother, like daughter," Roger thought, "Am I redeemed yet? I'm trying here until I am granted my amends for what I did April. At least you get to be here to celebrate Courtney's birthday today. Our little miracle girl…is one year older today. I hope you're proud."

_Meanwhile at the loft…_

"Okay straighten it on the left side now," Maureen instructed Collins and Mark moving the dresser, "No that's a bit too far! Maybe Collins to the right a bit! No that's not right! Mark move a bit forward! Wait that doesn't sound right…"

"For Christ's sake Maureen make up your mind!" Mark yelled in frustration, "They'll going to be home in less than few hours and we are far from done!"

"Gosh I can't believe you men aren't grateful for my help!" Maureen complained, "I'm just giving you guys some instruction!"

"You want to try lifting a dresser and moving it across the room be my guest!" Collins said.

"Alright her toys and books are back on the shelves," Joanne said, "It's all organized and her table is ready. The art easel is in the corner there. I'm going to step outside and help Angel finish preparing the food and decorations. Maureen…you can help me out with that!"

"Thank you Joanne," Collins and Mark replied, "Finally some peace and quiet. Mimi…do you still have Courtney's figures, supplies and pictures?"

"Yeah I have them here," Mimi replied as she was putting all the glass figures and pictures on Courtney's nightstands and dressers, "We're almost done in here. You guys can head into the living room and finish decorating."

After Collins and Mark left the bedroom, Mimi was finishing up the last touches on Courtney's bedroom. She was putting back all of Courtney's pictures on her dressers and nightstands. Mimi glanced through everyone of them from pictures with her and Roger, to with her aunts and uncles. She found one of Roger and Courtney and a young woman with red hair when Courtney was a baby.

"_I guess…she must be April, Courtney's mother," _Mimi thought to herself, _"The first woman Roger ever loved. Roger looked like he had everything and he was so full of life back then and his family mattered to him."_

"Courtney was around one year old at that time," Benny suddenly said entering, "We…went to Coney Island that time during the spring. It was about 4 months before April died and all that shit that happened between Roger and Sophie occurred."

"I…didn't see you come in there," Mimi said, "Roger probably must have given her that picture as a memory of April…one of the only few family pictures they had together. It must have been hard for Courtney not to have a mother around. April must have meant the world to Roger and Courtney."

"He spent five years…blaming himself for killing April," Benny said, "He felt it was his fault for causing April to relapse those last few months in her life when she found out about Sophie. It was hard to convince Roger it wasn't his fault…but the day April died was the day Roger completely shut down and became so disgruntled and broken. After April died, Roger struggled coping raising Courtney on his own without April there. He couldn't function properly and he literally thought at times he was going to die soon just like April…but Courtney kept him alive."

"You evicted Roger and Mark at one point and now suddenly…you guys are back on good terms again," Mimi said, "But Roger is doing much better now…him and Courtney are closer than ever. Why would it matter to you how Roger is doing?"

"Because I've known him for a long time and that guy is like a walking shadow Mimi. Besides the difference between Roger and you in your little relationship is that…"

"Okay just stop Benny!" Mimi replied, "I know I was the one that caused you problems with Allison after what happened and I'm sorry okay? I don't want to talk about what happened with us because I can't bare to have Roger or Courtney for that matter to figure some things I've never told them to come out. Roger's been through enough and all he wants is closure in his life with his daughter."

"And I suppose…you want to be the one who brings it to those two?" Benny asked, "Exactly what are your true intentions with your relationship with Roger? That is something you should think about…are you with him out of sympathy or…is it because of Courtney?"

"I care about Roger and Courtney," Mimi added, "Right now I don't want to put any dampers in Courtney's birthday today okay? I suggest you knock it off Benny."

_A few hours later…_

Roger came home at around 7:30pm with Courtney in toll. The two of them arrived back to the loft after finishing up at the Haven Memorial Gardens. Courtney and Roger walked into the dark loft a few moments later and suddenly Courtney went to turn on the lights. She was surprised to find the place decorated with streamers and balloons and prepared food on the table. She found her aunts and uncles standing there with smiles on their faces.

"SURPRISE!" they yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!"

"You…didn't forget my birthday?" Courtney smiled, "Daddy…they didn't forget my birthday! It's a surprise party for me?"

"I know that sweetie because it was daddy's plan all along," Roger smiled giving his daughter a kiss, "Your aunts and uncles helped set up the place while they worked on my surprise for you. I knew you were hard to surprise."

"C'mon Courtney you don't think we'll forget your birthday?" Mark asked, "Besides…you're part of our little Bohemian family and we never forget each others' birthdays…not even yours."

"Besides…you only turn seven once a year chica," Angel replied, "And that is something to celebrate today. Our little Courtney is growing up so fast and your dad must be proud."

"I am more than ever," roger smiled, "Happy Birthday Courtney…so shall we get this party started then?"

"It's my birthday started let's get this party started!" Courtney yelled excited, "Let's go!"

The Bohemians began to sing "Happy Birthday" to Courtney as she was blowing out her candles on her birthday cake. Mark was filming the party as they were all dancing and enjoying themselves. They all ate the food Mimi and Angel prepared and Courtney began to open all of her presents as each of the Bohemians gave their presents to her.

"Make a wish sweetie," Roger smiled, "Ready?" Courtney blew out her candles as everyone clapped and started cutting the cake.

"I want to open my presents!" Courtney yelled, "Where are my presents? I want them!"

"February 25th 8:30pm eastern standard time," Mark narrated, "The youngest of our little Bohemian family is officially seven years old. Courtney has just finished blowing out her candles and now she is anxiously waiting for her presents. Roger pulled off a surprise party for his daughter despite the fact it was us who did the annual labor and he got all the credit…typical behavior to expect from the Davis family."

"Oh knock it off Mark!" Roger replied, "Hey this was a team effort…although it was my idea you guys get the rest of the credit."

"He does have a point there," Benny replied, "We all did help out."

"I hope you like this one Courtney it's from me and Aunt Maureen," Joanne replied giving her the gift, "Happy Birthday Courtney."

"Thank you Aunt Joanne, Aunt Maureen," Courtney replied opening the present revealing a new antique glass doll, "This is so pretty. I promise to be careful with this doll…it's so nice."

"Here tiny Happy Birthday," Collins and Angel smiled giving her a gift, "This is from me." Courtney opened the gift from Collins revealing a box book set of Harry Potter Books and The Chronicles of Narnia. Angel put gave another present revealing a small set of bongo drums. "Hey I know it's a lot of words for you…but you can get your dad to read that."

"This will help you learn how to drum," Angel added, "But with your hands. Besides I would have bought you a drum kit…but you got a piano already so I guess it's a bit too crowded.

"Can you daddy?" Courtney asked, "Thank you Uncle Collins and Aunt Angel."

"Happy Birthday Courtney," Benny replied giving her next gift, "This one is from me, Marcus…and Allison. Don't worry my son has already apologized for what happened and your Aunt Allison couldn't make it because she had to rest at home."

"I'm not mad anymore…Uncle Benny," Courtney replied, "I know you don't really mean that stuff. Wow…this is beautiful a new dress."

"Let me guess…you bought a Prada bag and a some new clothes from Saks Fifth Avenue?" Mimi asked, "Allison bought it for her?"

"Yeah…at least we've made up for now," Benny added, "After all…she's pregnant again with my kid so we had to work out our problems for the sake of our kids."

"I would say whip lashed or lucky shot," Roger teased as he took the camera from Mark, "Hey you're up Mark…give Courtney her gift." Mark represented his present to Courtney as she smiled and opened her present…a navy blue video camera and a digital camera.

"My own video camera!" Courtney yelled, "I can film like you Uncle Mark! Thank you!"

"Sweet mother of pearl now I got to contend with another camera in my face," Roger sighed in laughter, "Out of all the presents you can buy my daughter…you had to get one that reminds me so much of you."

"Hey…she's old enough to learn the tricks of the trade about filming," Mark replied, "I'm just giving my little niece here a push in the right direction. Besides I think it was time she deserved one after she plays with mine all the time."

"Anyways…there is still one more present Courtney and this one…is a surprise," Mimi smiled as she blind folded Courtney, "This one you have to keep your eyes closed…it's from your dad."

"Actually…correction this is from me, Mimi and all of us," Roger added.

"I'll call you Aunt Mimi now" Courtney asked as the Bohemians led Courtney to the other side of the room and they opened the door to her bedroom, "What is it? Can I open my eyes?"

"Alright open your eyes!" they all replied, "Surprise!"

Courtney smiled as she saw her bedroom completely renovated with new furniture, painted, and redesigned. She was smiling and yelling with joy as she started touching everything around the room while they were filming it. She hugged her dad and everyone else in appreciation for her room.

"My bedroom…it's all brand new!" Courtney smiled, "It looks so brand new! Thank you!"

"It was my idea to renovate your bedroom as a surprise for your birthday sweetie," Roger smiled, "It took us a week to finish it and your aunts and uncles did most of the work to help fix up your surprise. However…most of the work on your bedroom was done by Aunt Mimi so this is technically her gift to you."

"It's true," Angel replied, "Mimi was the one that contributed to most of the work done in your bedroom…since she did most of the renovations non-stop for the week."

"Oh thank you, thank you Aunt Mimi," Courtney smiled giving her a hug, "I love it!"

"Hey no problem," Mimi replied, "So…would you tell us what you wished for your birthday?"

"Not this time…because it won't come true," Courtney replied, "But my birthday wish…I hope it does come true. It won't come true if I tell you."

"Well whatever your wish is…I'm sure it will come true one day," Roger smiled, "Happy Birthday Courtney."


	12. Quiet Things No One Ever Knows

**Chapter 12: Quiet Things No One Ever Knows**

Since the competition was only a few weeks away, Mimi has been spending a lot of time practicing causing her to cut back on her dance classes at the Ryder Community Center and her shifts at the Cat Scratch Club. However, at the same time Roger was a bit worried that his girlfriend was overworking herself to a point where she would suffer from exhaustion due to the amount of hours she spent practicing. He knew she was talented, but she was also sick at the same time too which worried him of how her condition would be. He stopped by the Life Café to buy some dinner for Mimi with Courtney accompanying him.

"Okay sweetie what do you want for dinner?" Roger asked, "I'll order us some food for take out and we'll bring it to Mimi okay?"

"I want a chicken burger and fries," Courtney replied.

"Sure why not," Roger said as he suddenly noticed a familiar face at the bar he hasn't seen in a couple of years…April's father Dean Ericson, "Its…been awhile Dean."

"Well look what the wind blew in huh? Why if it isn't my once poor excuse of a son-in-law Roger Davis," Dean sneered, "I'm surprised to see your face after all these years for what you did to my daughter. You got a lot of nerve standing in front of me after everything you put my daughter through…for what you did to her…she didn't deserve to have her life end the way it did. Actually…it should have been you instead of her buried down at Haven Memorial!"

"Look Dean…I've known we've had our differences in the past and I know you resent me with all your heart for what I did to April," Roger replied, "But….you should know that I loved your daughter with all my heart and soul since she is my mother of my child…your granddaughter."

"You loved my daughter you say huh?" Dean snapped, "You loved her enough to take her down to Alphabet City to that Bohemian dump you call home! How much did you love my April to drive her into using smack and then contract HIV huh? She had a bright future once until she fell for a delinquent, lowlife musician like you and for what? You said you loved her but did you love her enough from stopping her from relapsing? As for that little girl you call daughter…I pity she has to spend the rest of her life with a father like you who should be dead by now for what he did…my granddaughter deserves more than you, and it should be April instead raising Courtney and not you."

"I admit I'm not perfect and God I tell myself everyday that I'm sorry for what I did to you and your family with April," Roger sighed, "I would trade places with April but my daughter is all I got left in this world…my redemption for the wrongs I did in the past. I'm sick and I know that and I'm paying for it…but I didn't want things to turn out the way they are today. I'm redeeming myself of all my wrongs in the name of my daughter and I'm making a new start in my life for her sake and for April."

"Well I was disgusted when I found out you contracted HIV…but to have my daughter test positive too was an insult on my part!" Dean snapped, "That's why I left things the way they were because for my daughter's sake, for Courtney and we agreed to not cross paths with each other after April's funeral. However, seeing you again just bring back the resentment and hatred I have for you for what you did to my family by taking April away."

"I loved her and don't you stand here badgering me about my past because I am making it up for it with Courtney!" Roger snapped, "God I'm sorry for what I did to your family and to April but you deprive me of the one thing I got left to redeem myself…Courtney. She is what I got left of April and I'm making something of my life now by starting over and reliving. You wouldn't understand what it was for over five years being racked with guilt for April's death."

"I'll tell you something Roger…you don't deserve redemption or forgiveness for what your little affair did to April," Dean added, "You know my daughter would call me up every night while you were at your office doing God knows what and cry herself on her marital problems with you and how she couldn't cope with Courtney. You said you loved my daughter you don't even know what it's like to love someone back Roger Davis! You took April's life away and that is something I will never ever forgive you as long as I live! I got nothing more to say to you but hoping that you get what you deserve…because the one thing you don't deserve was her love. You were never good enough for April and I pity Courtney for growing with a having a disappointment like you as a father." With that, Dean Ericson left the Life Café while Courtney came to her father's side as he noticed he was upset.

"Daddy…are you okay?" Courtney asked, "Who was that man daddy?"

"Oh that man…just someone I knew a long time ago," Roger lied, "C'mon the food is ready let's go see Mimi."

"Okay let's go see Mimi," Courtney smiled as she noticed her dad was upset, "Daddy why do you look sad? Did that man say something mean to you?"

"Huh…no it's nothing Courtney," Roger sighed as he quietly said to himself, "That was your grandfather…reminding me of the shadows of my past, the one I can never escape."

"That man…is my grandpa?" Courtney asked, "I thought grandpa died."

"It's more like he wanted to keep away from us and let us live our own life," Roger sighed, "He is mad at daddy for what happened to mommy. We haven't talked since mommy died."

"Oh I see…it's okay then," Courtney replied, "I like our little family…you and me and Uncle Mark, Aunt Maureen and Joanne, Uncle Collins, Aunt Angel, Aunt Mimi, and maybe Uncle Benny and Aunt Allison sometimes and maybe Marcus."

"Our little Bohemian family I would say," Roger replied as the two drove to Ms. McRae's Ballroom Dance School up on 5th Avenue, "C'mon let's see Mimi while she practices for the Ballroom Dancing Competition."

_Ms. McRae's Ballroom Dance School…_

Mimi finished another night of ballroom classes since the competition was a couple of weeks away. This was her chance to finally live out her dream of competing in a standard ballroom competition. She learned from Ms. McRae that there were going to be representatives from Avalon School of Dance from London, England attending the competition in a few weeks. Mimi wanted the chance to score to audition again and she was determine to make something out of her life and overcome her past.

"Hey Mimi I want to meet my fiancée Rosie," her dance partner Kyle replied, "Rosie, this is the girl I was talking about whose helping me dance in the Latin competition."

"It's a pleasure meeting you Mimi," Rosie replied, "I'm sure my fiancée hasn't stepped too much on your feet. I heard from Kyle you were a natural dancer."

"I'm only an amateur," Mimi sighed, "I've only been taking these classes for a few weeks. I hear you two are pairing you for the standard ballroom category of the competition."

"Yeah Kyle's dancing twice for the competition," Rosie replied.

"Tell me about it Ms. McRae is having me doing double duty for the competition," Kyle sighed teasing, "My feet are going to fall off sooner or later. Are you ready to go honey?"

"Yeah it's getting late," Rosie replied as her and Kyle left, "It was nice meeting you Mimi. I hope to see you next class."

"It was nice meeting you Rosie," Mimi replied as the couple left, "See you next class Kyle and keep practicing," Mimi waited in the lobby of the dance school for Roger to come pick her up until she was approached by a familiar face…Allison Grey Coffin, Benny's wife. Benny was talking with a business associate of the building and Allison saw Mimi and approached her.

"I'm surprised that our paths have crossed Mimi Marquez," Allison sneered, "So besides stripping down to your bra and panties for a bunch of perverted men or getting high on all the smack you shoot up, looking for another place to hit to seduce married men?"

"What do you want?" Mimi snapped, "I didn't recall inviting to chat with the most snobbish and cynical bitch of the high society! I see your expecting another child…are you going to raise this one to rape everyone out of Avenue B and 11th street of whatever money they got? I'm surprised that your son can live with all the bullshit you put him through and you believe fictionist crap you say about the people who live on the lower east side of Alphabet City and Manhattan. Oh I'm sorry…you don't know what it's like because you're nothing but the puppeteer behind the revolution."

"Sugar…it's call downsizing," Allison sneered, "Besides our son shouldn't be growing up in a city infested with rift rafts who take up too much space in a highly invested and gorgeous city like New York. When I mean about the rift rafts…it's about those who are below the hierarchy of society, what you people call Bohemians and it includes people like you."

"Wait a second you talk about the rift rafts you call Bohemians…didn't you forget to mention that you lapdog you call your husband one of them a long time ago?" Mimi snapped, "I'm sorry you probably forgot to mention that to your country club rich yuppies that Benny was once Bohemian…just like the rest of us. What's the matter…dented that little ego of yours?"

"You leave him out of this! I could never figure out why he would wanted to be turn on by the likes of you?" Allison snapped, "An HIV positive stripper with a drug habit I don't what men find attractive about you?"

"What the hell is going on?" Benny replied as he saw his wife and Mimi arguing, "Is there something any of you would want to explain? Allison don't start…your constant arguing will only cause stress to the baby."

"No I'm not leaving until I clear the air out," Allison replied, "This is a predicament huh? If it isn't the wife, the mistress and the man all in the same room?"

"We already talked about this Allison I don't want to restart again," Benny begged, "We've say what we had to say and it's over and done with. Mimi was a mistake to begin with and I just want to focus on us and our family."

"Always a lapdog and will forever is a lapdog to the bitch of the revolution," Mimi sneered.

"I beg your pardon?" Benny asked, "What is that suppose to mean Mimi?"

"I don't know between the two of you is bullshitting more," Mimi said, "Benny, the lapdog and the sellout of Bohemia or Allison, the bitch of revolution and tamer of the Grey empire. You blame me for your dysfunctional martial problems and I'm surprise your kid hasn't been messed up because of it. I'm not the bad guy here…you guys just needed a little push to cause a chain reaction to all of this. It's not my fault that you two are constantly at each other's throats." Roger and Courtney came in and they saw Mimi talking with Benny and Allison until they noticed Roger's presence and decide to put Mimi in her place.

"Oh look if it isn't Roger and Courtney," Allison replied, "So…I see this has been your next venture Mimi. You probably outdid yourself this time hooking up with a widower and trying to play mommy to little Courtney."

"Excuse me?" Roger asked, "You shouldn't be talking to my girlfriend like that or saying crap like that in the presence of my seven year old daughter!"

"Allison baby c'mon let's go," Benny begged trying to get Allison away, "This discussion is over c'mon let's go home."

"No you stop Benny if it wasn't for this little home wrecker we wouldn't be going to counseling and we wouldn't be stuck in this situation," Allison snapped as she turned to Roger, "You want to know something about your precious little girlfriend Roger Davis? She had an affair with Benny awhile back…that's right. If my dear husband has talked about our martial problems to your little Bohemian friends while he collects your rent…he forgot to mention that the Spanish bitch you're dating is the home wrecker that caused our martial problems. If I were you…it's better that you find someone else that wouldn't systematically destroy your life in the end like what she did to my family."

"Let's go now!" Benny demanded, "C'mon we've already made our presence known." After Benny took Allison out, Mimi was on the verge of tears after they managed to expose Mimi's affair with Benny in front of Roger and Courtney. Roger just stood there silently while his daughter had no clue what was going on.

"Mimi…listen I don't know what to say except…" Roger was suddenly cut off by Mimi.

"Am I still worth being with now that you know my dirty little secret?" Mimi sighed in tears, "I never wanted anyone to know about that…especially you because…well forget it now. It's already out in the open thanks to that bitch. She got her revenge and she well…deserved to get it…you talk about redemption…all I want is the same thing you want to be redeem." Mimi took off crying while Roger tried to follow her but she quickly got into a taxi and just took to god knows where.

For the next few days, Roger hadn't been able to get in contact with Mimi and it was beginning to worry him. Since that night when he found Mimi talking with Benny and Allison, Mimi hasn't return any of Roger's calls nor even answer her door. It worried Roger because it was the other way around…instead of her looking out his wellbeing; it was his turn to look out for Mimi. However, he didn't know what was going on with his girlfriend and she would practically ignore him. Roger went by to Mimi's place one afternoon and knocked on her door.

"Meems…it's Roger c'mon babe open up please," Roger begged, "I know…you're in there c'mon please talk to me. I want to help you…I owe you that for everything you've done for me. Mimi please open the door…please talk to me." Mimi was inside crying because she couldn't bring herself to face Roger for what he found out…she was scared.

"Please…just go away Roger," Mimi cried, "She was right about me the whole time…it will always be the same way no matter what. You don't understand Roger…and it's better that way. I can't stand Benny…for what I did with him awhile back. I hate Allison…for being right about me this whole time!"

"She's wrong and so is Benny for what happened," Roger assured her, "They don't know you, no does. The only one who knows you is yourself Mimi."

"What do you know?" Mimi asked, "You don't know me that well!"

"I know you well enough to know…that you mean everything to me Mimi," Roger said, "If it weren't for you…I don't know where I would be heading right now. I owe you for that and I'm thankful to be with you. Don't let people like them doubt you. I will…always be there for you."

"How can you be sure of that Roger?" Mimi asked as she was making her way down the escape ladder, "Maybe I should…stay where I belong."

"Wait Mimi don't go!" Roger barged in and found Mimi escaping down the escape ladder as she made her way towards the park.

He began to follow her but he lost track of her. Roger spent hours looking for her and worried that something terrible would happen to her. Meanwhile, Mimi was sitting alone at the playground, with a bag of smack in her hands. She was on the verge of tears as she just wanted the pain to stop and just relax. She looked at the bag with the needle in it. Mimi took the needle out and started loading the smack in it. She was shivering as she was about to inject it into her arm.

"_I know you well enough to know…that you mean everything to me Mimi. If it weren't for you…I don't know where I would be heading right now. I owe you for that and I'm thankful to be with you. Don't let people like them doubt you. I will…always be there for you."_ She snapped out of her trance remembering Roger's words before she stormed out distraught and Mimi finally realized…he was right, "He's right….thank god for you Roger."

"Everyone tries to find an easy out," a voice said snatching the needle out her arm. Mimi looked up to find Roger standing in front of her, "This was…my way to escape everything but in the end…it ruined everything for me…almost cost me everything I had going. I never told anyone this except the others about what happened after April's death." Roger took a seat on the swing next to Mimi as he let out a sigh where he felt the pains of the past out.

"I rarely never talked about the weeks following April's death…my family, my in-laws, especially April's father severed contact with me because they blamed me for what happen to April," Roger sighed, "The day of the funeral was one day I wouldn't forget because well…her dad delivered his eulogy and then he berated me in front of everyone of how I drove April to her death and my fling with Sophie Wade was the final straw. Everyone hated me, all those I knew soon turned on me, but no one hates me more than April's father. After the funeral…I started using again to ease the pain being wracked with guilt, pain and depression over April that Mark and the others were having a hard time trying to comfort me. I wanted to ease the pain and prove to everyone I didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did."

"At least you still had a few people left to be there for you," Mimi said, "I didn't have anyone with me and I was all alone…until I met you and the rest of you guys. How are we able to let go of everything without using some sort of relief that can ruin you in the end?"

"I've always asked myself that same question," Roger said, "I ran into Dean Ericson, April's father a few days ago and with that…all the shadows of the past came back to haunt me. I can't change the past, I don't know whether or not I'll find redemption, forgiveness, or love for that matter because maybe he believes…I don't deserve it nor Courtney for that matter. I almost cost me Courtney at one point because I was having such a difficult time dealing with all the issues I had after April's death. I nearly endangered my daughter's wellbeing at that time to a point where Mark and the others took actions into their own hands to make me learn how to deal with my problems. You and me like to talk about baggage…for me Mark and the others put me through an intervention to get me off the drugs and seek counseling to deal with April's death. I knew I had to because I still needed to keep living for the sake of Courtney. I know I found some sort of redemption through my daughter…and through you."

"I know what I did with Benny nearly destroyed his marriage and Allison had many reason to hate me for that," Mimi said looking down at the ground, "She wanted revenge by depriving me of my second chance to make things right…even if it meant she wanted to destroy my relationship with you. Being with you…is what makes me feel relief and comfort to know that I'm not alone and that I am worth something else. I wonder what happened if I did inject that into me if you didn't find me. Would I be able to make the pain stop and the hurt? Will I be able to forget everything I felt and everything I did? How do I know I'm good enough to be with you after all the shit that happened with Benny? I didn't want you to find out about my affair with Benny because I…was ashamed of what you would have thought about me."

"Put it this way…Benny is Benny and we can't change that," Roger added, "He maybe the yuppie scum that married the socialite Allison Grey and the lapdog we know him. However, he always knows how to screw himself over when it comes to his wife. Don't you ever think I wouldn't have been disappointed at you for what happened between Benny and you…I would have just kicked Benny's ass for dumping the blame of the affair on you. Allison isn't even the patron wife Benny married…he's a little secret between you and me, our little socialite princess also has her dirty little secrets too." Mimi chuckled a bit at Roger's joke about Allison and Benny's marriage.

"I guess the tables have turned tonight have they? Instead of me helping you…it's you helping me out and I'm thankful for that. Roger…you think us being here together and sitting down revealing the troubles in our life is part of what we have to face and live with? I wanted to forget all that stuff that happened with Benny before and I'm sorry…it had to come out that way. I don't know why you want me as your girlfriend after you found out I had an affair with your landlord awhile back. I was on the verge of relapsing again and then I stopped and remember what you told me back at the apartment."

"If it weren't for you…I don't know where I would be heading right now. I owe you for that and I'm thankful to be with you. Don't let people like them doubt you okay? I will…always be there for you no matter what happens," Roger smiled giving her a kiss, "I know that between you and me, we were meant to get together because you and I are two of a kind. We may live with a lot of baggage but it goes together. Sometimes the things we try to hide eventually come out but somehow…as long as we got people who will be there for you, it makes the healing process better. I should be the one asking if I'm deserving to be with you or seek redemption but I want to prove them wrong."

"You're with me and that proves people wrong just like I'm with you," Mimi smiled kissing him back, "Thank you for always being there for me…I know I'll always be there for you."

"Anytime babe," Roger smiled as they held hands and started walking back, "It's getting cold c'mon with the weather like this I don't want my girlfriend getting sick. How about we head back to the loft and maybe you can read me that little A Walk to Remember book?"

"Are you doing this to make me feel better?" Mimi asked, "Or because you finally got interested in that book?"

"Maybe…you could say both," Roger replied. The two of them were walking back to the loft hand and hand quietly. Roger was relieved that had his girlfriend back safe and sound and she wasn't going to relapse. He felt that closure of having her close however; he heard a quiet faint comment that would shock him.

"I glad to be with you," Mimi quietly said, "I think…I'm in love with you Roger."


	13. Searching for Something More

**Chapter 13: Searching for Something More**

"Aunt Mimi…can you read me more of that story please?" Courtney asked, "I like it when you read to me that book you read to daddy when you come over."

"I'm not sure because you wouldn't want your dad to get angry at me for reading you something that is not for your age."

Mimi protested as she was helping the little girl get ready for bed. Roger had a business dinner to go with some of the record producers for Spark Records. The others came by and all decided to head out to the Life Café for some drinks, but Mimi stayed behind to look after Courtney. She absolutely adored her and the little girl obviously loved Mimi a lot not because she was dating Roger, but she also loved bonding with her to provide some female influence in her life, since her mother wasn't around.

"Please Aunt Mimi please read to me A Walk to Remember please?" Courtney asked.

"You know your dad will run a fit with me if I try to read you a story about teenage love and falling in love but okay," Mimi smiled as she tucked the girl into bed, "I'll start from the last part that I read to your dad the other night okay?"

"I'm listening," Courtney replied as Mimi sat on the bed next to her and started reading.

"I stared at it, mesmerized, and slowly ran my hand over the top, brushing my fingers over the well-worn leather as tears filled my eyes. Jamie reached out and rested her hand on mine. It was warm and soft. I glanced at her, not knowing what to say. Jamie had given me her Bible," Mimi read out loud, "Thank you for what you did for me, she whispered to me. It was the best Christmas I ever had. I turned away without responding and reached off to the side where I'd set my glass of punch. The chorus of Silent Night was still playing, and the music filled the room. I took a sip of the punch, trying to soothe the sudden dryness in my throat."

"What happened next Aunt Mimi?" Courtney asked as she started to yawn, "Please keep reading I'm not tired."

"But you're yawning and a little chica next to me is starting to get drowsy," Mimi smiled giving the girl a hug, "You're starting to fall asleep on me."

"Please keep reading! What happens next to Jamie and Landon?"

"As I drank, all the times I spent with Jamie came flooding my mind. I thought about the homecoming dance and what she'd done for me that night. I thought about the play and how angelic she looked. I thought about the times I'd walk her home and how I helped collect jars and cans filled with pennies for the orphans," Mimi continued reading, "All these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, and then I looked up at the ceiling and around the room, doing my best to keep my composure, then back to Jamie again. She smiled at me and I smiled at her and all I can do is wonder…how I ever fallen in love with a girl like Jamie Sullivan."

"That's cute…Landon is falling in love with Jamie," Courtney smiled, "Does…he end up telling Jamie he loves her and do you live happily ever after?"

"Well that will be another night Miss Courtney Davis," Mimi said, "It's hard to explain the concept of love to someone your age because you are so young. In this case of Landon Carter, he started falling for Jamie soon after he recognized his feelings for her. It takes time for someone to realize that they are in love with each other...even if the other person you're in love with maybe obvious to your feelings because they don't know what they really want or maybe they're afraid of something."

"Why is it every time Mark and the others decide to go drinking at the Life Café they always leave my favorite girl and my little miracle girl out of the activities?" they heard Roger standing at the doorway of Courtney's room, "Let me guess…A Walk to Remember right? I figured that you read the rest of Chapter 9 to my kid and specifically hinted about the concept of falling in love to my seven year old."

"Daddy were you here the whole time listening to Aunt Mimi read to me?" Courtney asked.

"You could say that," Roger replied as he joined Courtney and Mimi on the bed, "Why you are interested in having this book read to you sweetie? You know that this is for grownup people right? In my opinion you are seven years old and way too young to be learning about falling in love…you wait until you're maybe sixteen and you can start dating. As for you Mimi…you had to finish the rest of the chapter without me didn't you?"

"Every time I read this when I come over you fall asleep on me half way through every chapter," Mimi teased, "What is Mr. Tough Guy lacking his sensibility to appreciate a chick flick book?"

"You're dating Aunt Mimi…should that mean you love her by now?" Courtney asked. This was the second time the subject of love came across Roger's mind and somehow his daughter was now the second person to ask about him falling in love.

"Whoa slow down there tiny," Roger replied, "Aunt Mimi and I have only been going out for a few months so that isn't something to discuss yet. You missy need to get to bed now…it's already way past your bedtime. Besides tomorrow marks our yearly spring visit to Coney Island and we need to wake up early to get to the docks. Sweet dreams Courtney."

"Good night daddy," Courtney replied falling asleep, "Good night Aunt Mimi...I love you both."

"Listen…I know that you got your competition coming up and I don't want to be a bother with asking you to come out with us," Roger replied, "But this is something we usually do every year even when April was alive…head down to Coney Island as a celebration of the arrival of springtime. It's Palm Sunday so that's when the rides at Astroland Amusement Park begin to operate and that's usually the time when head there."

"I can take at least one day to celebrate the arrival of spring with you," Mimi smiled kissing Roger, "Baby…I wouldn't miss it for the world and even if I take a day off I want to be part of this too with you guys. I know it would mean a lot to Courtney because she likes seeing us together…look don't think me hanging around with your daughter I'm trying to take April's place as Courtney's mother. No matter what April will always be Courtney's mother and that will not replace that okay? I just…like hanging around with the two of you because I feel…"

"You feel that sense of closure right?" Roger asked, "I know that you're not trying to replace April by trying to act like a mother to Courtney…actually I'm surprised because she opens up to you in a way I can't because she needs a strong female influence in her life. I could say that my daughter is in love with you Mimi a lot and she obviously adores being around you. It makes me smile knowing that you're helping to bring joy and happiness to my daughter's life in ways I can't imagine."

"What about you Roger?" Mimi asked as the two sat on the couch, "Do you think that you being with me is bringing you joy in your life? I like being with you because you make me feel whole and I know this is all new still…but I feel like my feelings for you are becoming deeper. I'm feeling things that I don't know about and I want to feel that with you."

"I wish I could feel what you're feeling too," Roger sighed, "But…I still need some time to discover my true feelings for you. I've been through a lot and ever since I've been with you I feel like I'm regaining parts of myself I lost since April died slowly, but somehow something inside of me tells me I don't deserve it…I don't deserve Courtney, or you for that matter. I push back fearing that I'm going to repeat the same mistakes twice and I don't want to risk that again. That's why…I'm unsure how to express my feelings for you, all that matters to me is that I'm with you and that is all I can ask for today."

"I understand Roger…and I won't push you," Mimi said as the two cuddled, "I wish…I could read sometimes if you are able to express how you really feel for me. Sometimes I fear that you're letting the past hold you back but just let go sometimes and take a leap of faith and then you'll figure out there is really more than you're searching for."

The next day, the seven Bohemians and Courtney all met up at the docks to head off to Coney Island for the day. Mark brought his video camera to record the day, while Courtney brought her digital camera to take some pictures during the day. They all brought food to eat for the day so they wouldn't have to spend too much on buying food. Mimi, Angel and the girls were taking Courtney on all the children rides at the Astroland Amusement park. Roger and the boys watch them riding the carrousel, the spinning teacups and the bumper cars.

"Palm Sunday…2pm eastern standard time," Mark narrated filming, "Today marks our yearly spring retreat visit to Coney Island and Angel, Mimi, Joanne, Maureen, and Courtney are on the bumper cars trying to see who can hit who harder. Joanne and Maureen are paired up in one car and these two are obviously doing a horrible job trying to correspond as a team. Mimi and Courtney are doing great while Angel is the lone driver this time. Collins didn't have the guts to step in and ride since he hates bumper cars."

"Look whose talking Cohen," Collins joked, "You're as chicken shit as me to step in because you're worried to get whipped lashed by the girls."

"Hey I got a very high priced camera I couldn't risk damaging!" Mark protested, "Besides imagine getting man handled by the girls in there!"

"Trust me no one knows hell than a woman's fury," Roger teased, "And judging by the fun those girls is having…anyone want in on the next ride?"

"Count me in bitches!" Collins replied, "Mark are you in?"

"If you guys stop hassling me about the camera fine I'll go on," Mark said as Mimi, Courtney, Angel, Joanne and Maureen came off from the bumper cars, "Did you girls have fun?"

"I would of if Maureen here didn't keep on trying to fight me for control of the steering wheel when I was the one in the driver seat!" Joanne argued.

"Oh c'mon pookie it's called bumper cars and you don't try to go around people," Maureen argued, "Besides…next time you should let me drive!"

"Hey at least you weren't the one backed into a corner by a seven year old and mad chica over here," Angel replied, "Anyways…I'm up for another ride."

"Count us in too!" Joanne and Maureen replied, "But this time Maureen drives."

"I want my own car!" Mimi added as she turned to Courtney, "Sorry squirt that means you're riding with your dad."

"You are all so dead when the two of us are in there together!" Roger said as he took his daughter's hand, "Well shall we my little miracle girl?"

"Why certainly I want in!" Courtney smiled as they all headed back onto the bumper cars ride.

Everyone except for Maureen, Joanne, Roger and Courtney each took a bumper car and each of them began to bump one another as if it was a race. Mark attempted to film but he was too busy being bumped by Collins, while Angel was going after Maureen and Joanne. Mimi was in her own bumper car when she saw Roger and Courtney driving towards her and the two bumper cars instantly collided with one another.

"You Davis' are nothing but trouble makers," Mimi teased, "Like father like daughter the pair of you! Wait till I get this car out of the corner and…Mark! Angel!" Both Mark and Angel's bumper cars trapped Mimi in the corner and Mark was having a hard time steering and filming.

"Turn the wheel the other way and pay attention to the arena!" Angel instructed, "Mark I'm stuck here!"

"This is complicated than usual," Mark complained as Collin's car, follow by Maureen and Joanne all soon collided leaving Roger and Courtney's bumper car the only one out, "Okay everyone back up before Roger runs the bumper car into us!"

"I can't if Maureen and Joanne back up!" Collins yelled.

"I told you guys you're so dead!" Roger laughed as he bumped into everyone else, "Hang tight sweetie daddy is getting payback here!"

"Hurry up and back up!" Mimi yelled, "C'mon you guys my road rage boyfriend is out in the open free and ramming into us!"

"Honeybear turn the wheel c'mon!" Joanne yelled.

"This one is going to be a big one!" Roger laughed as he rammed into the others one more time, however the ride completely stopped signaling that their time was up, "Oh man I guess the fun is over sweetie…c'mon let's go."

"That was fun daddy," Courtney smiled as they all exited the ride, "It was funny when they all got stuck in the corner, especially Aunt Mimi."

"Well I wouldn't have been stuck if a particular filmmaker was paying attention driving instead of filming the entire ride," Mimi replied as her and Roger held hands, "C'mon Mark I wouldn't have been backed up into that corner if it weren't for you."

"Yeah thanks for causing the pile up Mark!" Maureen teased.

"Alright people stop I'm sorry okay?" Mark sighed, "So…where to next? Does anyone have any cash on them to play some games?"

"Can we eat first and then play some games?" Courtney asked.

"My daughter has a point c'mon let's eat first," Roger replied as everyone agreed, "There's a table there we can sit at and eat."

After they finished eating, Roger and the others played a few games for awhile. Courtney was taking pictures with her dad, her aunts and uncles while Mark continued to film. Roger and Mimi were playing a game of ring toss and Roger won two teddy bears for both Mimi and Courtney while Mimi won a stuffed dog for Roger. Courtney wanted to go on the spinning tea cups next so her and Mimi went on together while Roger used Courtney's digital camera to take pictures. The others were off going on some of the more adult rides knowing that Courtney wasn't old enough to ride them. The way Roger saw the excitement and interaction between Mimi and Courtney put a smile on his face and at the same time made him wonder to the last time he ever smiled like that when he was here with April and Courtney. Roger wondered off to the ferriswheel as his mind began to drift off.

_**(FLASHBACK)**_

"_**So shall we go on?" April asked pushing Courtney's stroller, "C'mon Roger."**_

"**_What about Courtney? Who's going to watch her?" Roger replied as he tried to back out from going on, "I…don't think we're allowed to bring an infant on the ferriswheel."_**

"_**Something tells me that you're afraid of heights aren't you?" April asked, "That's okay…I understand that you and I don't blame you. I'm also afraid of heights…but I want to ride it so I can face my fear."**_

"_**Well I got a few tickets here why don't you go on then?" Roger offered, "That way you can ride it or are you afraid to go on by yourself?"**_

"_**I'll take that as an offer," April smiled taking the tickets, "At least I'm the bravest between the two of us to go on a ferriswheel that is over fifty feet. You're going to stay here and watch me from up above and make sure you keep an eye on our little miracle girl."**_

"_**Yes…just go on the ride dear," Roger smiled as they kissed, "I'll be waiting." April went on the ferriswheel by herself and he watched as his wife at least over fifty feet in the air enjoying the ride. She was yelling every single time after one rotation to her husband.**_

"_**I can't believe you're missing out on so much fun Roger Davis!" April yelled, "You don't know what you're missing and the view from atop here is amazing! My chicken shit of a husband is afraid of heights and he can't come on for one ride with me!" After the ride was over, April came off and met up with Roger and Courtney as she picked up her baby daughter from the stroller.**_

"**_Did you enjoy yourself?" Roger asked, "Although you were deliberately trying to make me look like an ass for not going on. Alright I admit…I kind of have a fear of heights that's why I didn't want to go on the ferriswheel. I see that April Ericson Davis had a wonderful time on top of ferriswheel. What was it like riding it?"_**

"_**Now suddenly you're taking an interest," April replied, "For a guy who is a afraid of heights and refuse to go on a little ride like the ferriswheel shows that you need to work on facing your fears. Being up there is a nice overview and while you're up there…it's like you're free and on top of the world. I was glad to be up there and it would have been nice if you were able to be there with me."**_

"_**I promise…next time we'll go on together," Roger replied taking her hand, "Next time I'll go on and that way I'll show you I'm not afraid of heights."**_

"_**How can you be sure?" April asked, "How can you be sure you can honestly go on there and face your fears? You don't have to go on next time because I'm making you go on…I'll let you go on when you're able to show that you got nothing to fear anymore. One day…I know whether it's you and I, or just you and Courtney I want to see you on that ride okay?"**_

"_**You seem very pushy don't you?" Roger asked.**_

"**_You seem very persistent to resist any opportunities," April replied as the two of them walked and pushed the stroller, "The next time you show up here somehow you'll end up on the ferriswheel and you won't least expect it...that Roger is what we call luck or sheer fate. If I'm not going to be the one to drag you on then someone else will."_**

_**(END OF FLASHBACK)**_

"I'm so dizzy but that was fun!" Roger heard Courtney and Mimi coming over, "Everything is spinning Aunt Mimi including you! Daddy did you see us on the spinning teacups?"

"Yeah and just to check let me see if your vision is in tact," Roger teased waving a finger in front of Courtney, "Is everything still spinning?"

"No not yet…Uncle Mark!" Courtney smiled as she saw Mark and the others coming back.

"Hey squirt how's it going?" Mark replied, "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Aunt Mimi and I went on the spinning teacups," Courtney replied, "We were spinning really fast and we're both dizzy. Daddy…you haven't been on a ride yet why don't you go on with Aunt Mimi just the two of you."

"I see your mother's pushiness in you Courtney Josephine Davis," Roger teased, "For your information I was a step ahead of you there."

"Yeah since when we're you going to ask me?" Mimi replied.

"I was just going to ask you right about now," Roger smiled taking Mimi's hand, "So Miss Marquez do you want to go on a ride with me? To show my generosity you get to pick any ride and I will go on it's a promise."

"Of course Mr. Davis let's go," Mimi replied as she dragged Roger to the ferriswheel, "Okay I want to go on this one you and me together on this one." Roger looked a bit nervous again as it was the ferriswheel and Mimi could see Roger had a fear of this ride but she was determine to go on one ride with Roger.

"Huh Mimi…you see huh…" Roger hesitated, "I…I'm…kind of afraid of…heights."

"Okay so my boyfriend has a fear of heights…but it didn't stop him from going on top of his rooftop of the loft," Mimi replied as the two of them handed their tickets and got on in one of the carts putting down the lap bar, "But…I'm sure he's not going to let that stop him from going over fifty feet up in the air. I promise you won't fall and I think it's about time you face your fears."

A few moments later the ride began to start up and Roger was gripping tight on the lap bar and shutting his eyes. Mimi slightly laughed at his vulnerability and his amused by her boyfriend's reaction to keep his eyes shut. Mimi didn't know whether or not it was wise to link arms with Roger knowing that he doesn't really do height, however the ride suddenly stopped.

"Huh…okay what is going on?" Roger asked keeping his eyes closed, "Is it okay…is the ride over yet?"

"Why don't you open your eyes Roger," Mimi insisted as Roger slowly opened his eyes and realized he was up in the air, "Now look out because for now the ride stopped and their letting some people off and on."

"Oh my god…I'm panicking and we've stopped why did we stop?" Roger asked panicking, "I'm fifty feet in the air…and how are we expect to possibly calm down and…" Mimi suddenly gives his a kiss just to get him to relax, "Okay…that can maybe keep me calm."

"The view is amazing up here Roger if you can stop making me out with me for a minute to look at it," Mimi smiled as she turned Roger's head to the overview, "What do you see?"

"Okay I think…I can do this," Roger hesitated as he suddenly started to relax, "Wow…that is beautiful and I'm seeing this from over fifty feet in the air because of you…and she was right somehow I would end up here on top of this ride. She wanted me to go on here not to face my fears…but to see and feel what it's like to be on top of the world. I don't really talk much and I'm afraid to open up and I lack trust and compassion…but I know I trust you and being up I'm not afraid to say…I think I'm searching for something more than what I have right now."

"And what is that?" Mimi asked as the ride began to move for one more rotation, "What are you searching for?"

"I…think…I'm falling in love with you," Roger slowly replied, "I don't know how to explain it but when you asked last night if I'm happy being with you made me realize it. The night in the park you told me you're falling in love with me is that true?"

"Yes I meant it," Mimi smiled, "I'm falling in love with you and I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're in the same vote as me," Roger said as they found themselves at the start again signaling their time was up, "Well I guess…that ends things there." The two of them got off and they were walking towards the others who were eating ice cream at a nearby table with Courtney.

"Something tells me that something happened while you two were dangling over fifty feet in the air?" Collins asked, "Anyways…I wouldn't even bother."

"I at least conquered my fears of heights thanks to her," Roger smiled as the two sat together with Courtney holding hands, "So Courtney are you ready to go home?"

"Can we leave in about an hour?" Courtney asked as she was going through some of her photos that were taken, "Daddy look at my pictures!"

"Yeah we'll print them when we get home," Roger smiled as he viewed all the pictures and handed the camera back, "I think they're beautiful sweetie."

"I want to take a picture of you two," Courtney replied as she took a picture of Mimi and Roger together, "There that's better you two look cute."

"I think you should start reading books your age," Mimi teased, "I probably agree with your dad I've been reading too much A Walk to Remember to you."

"If you want you can take one more picture of us to keep you quiet," Roger teased as Courtney took another picture of Roger and Mimi together, "Are you better now? Hey since you're the one hiding behind that digital camera why don't you come here and take a picture with us for a change?"

"Okay just a minute…Aunt Angel!" Courtney called as Angel came, "Can you take a picture of me, daddy and Aunt Mimi together?"

"Sure thing chica," Angel replied as Courtney joined Roger and Mimi and took a picture of the three of them, "Okay everyone say cheese! Just to be on the safe side I'll take one more."

"Thanks Angel," they replied as Roger and Mimi were walking behind the others around Coney Island.

Courtney was holding both Roger and Mimi's hands while the two of them swung her. Up ahead Mark and the others observed the three of them together and they felt happy for Roger to finally find what he was searching for. Mark was filming them together and enjoying themselves as if they were one happy family.

"That looks cute the three of them together," Mark said to the others, "They look like one happy family together…something that Roger would also want too…love and family again."


	14. I Should Tell You

**Chapter 14: I Should Tell You**

(_Author's Notes: Just a note to any readers out there, some of my concepts for a few of the chapters had been inspired by certain aspects of movie and television shows I watch. The last chapter and this chapter are inspired by certain scenes from the first season of The OC to those who follow the show. The concept of this chapter will feature a lot of recounting days before and after. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and keep sending in those reviews.)_

_Mimi's Apartment…_

"Okay Mimi hold still I need to put the final touches on your outfit for the competition this Saturday," Angel replied as she was stringing together the last pieces of Mimi's outfit for the dance competition, "Now you'll be ready to compete Saturday."

"I can't believe it's already April and the competition is at the end of the week," Mimi said as she sighed, "I'm just a bit nervous about all of this…it's my first real formal competition."

"Trust me girlfriend you'll do fine and we'll be routing for you…well maybe…" Angel trailed off.

"Yeah I know…Roger is heading out for a few days to Santa Fe for a few days on a business trip," Mimi sighed, "He left early this morning so I went to see him off and Mark is watching Courtney while he's gone."

"Something's bothering you isn't it?" Angel asked, "It's not just the competition…something else is on your mind."

"Angel…the way I sent him off wasn't what I really expected," Mimi sighed as she sulk her head, "I'm stupid to say that unexpectedly to him and Roger didn't even know how to react."

"What happened this morning?"

"You really want to know what happened this morning?" Mimi asked as she was modeling her outfit for the competition in front of the mirror, "I don't know where to begin…"

"I think I might have a feeling what's going on," Angel replied as Mimi began to think back to this morning when she drove Roger to the airport.

_This Morning-JFK International Airport…_

Mimi walked Roger to the terminal gate heading that was departing for Santa Fe as he was preparing to check in. It was a surprise for Roger to learn that the record company was sending off for a business trip involving Cardigan Records to preview some of his new demos to be recorded and produced. Actually, the business trip Roger was going on turned out to be a performance assessment to preview his recent works he wanted recorded. So far he only got demo samples and not full out recordings yet, but the sad part was he was spending a week away from Courtney and he was going to miss Mimi's competition.

"So are you sure you have everything?" Mimi asked, "You packed everything you needed?"

"Yes babe I did," Roger smiled as the two kissed, "I'm sorry I'm going to miss your competition but this deal is something I've been working on for a long time. I'm just hoping they like my stuff."

"Those two demos you previewed to me especially was something I loved," Mimi smiled, "I hope you do get those put out one day and I'm sure Cardigan Records would produce it."

"I know but still…your competition is Saturday and I'm going to miss my girlfriend dancing in her first Latin Ballroom competition," Roger sighed, "If you came by this morning it was worse trying to leave while you had Courtney prying on my leg begging not to go. Unfortunately she couldn't come so I had Mark take her to school. I got to call her once I get in just to make sure Mark is capable of looking after her."

"If Mark can't handle her you can always rely on me," Mimi added, "You're daughter practically loves me…and I'm definitely going to miss you for the next week."

"Me too Mimi I'm going to miss you," Roger smiled as the two kissed and hugged, "Don't read too much of A Walk to Remember to my kid because it's hard enough to try to dodge her demands to know what happens next. However, I just tell her wait until your Aunt Mimi reads to you the book when you turn sixteen." Mimi smiled as they continued to hug and kiss and then suddenly she whispers and sighs in his ear.

"…I love you," Mimi whispered in Roger's ear. However, this practically stunned Roger as he stops hugging his girlfriend and clears his throat, "…oh my goodness…huh…I mean…"

"Huh…I…huh…beg…huh…" Roger stuttered nervously not knowing how to react.

"I-I-I…didn't mean…huh…Roger…huh…" Mimi replied nervously to Roger's reaction.

"…Thank you," were the only two words that just came out of Roger's mouth.

"…Uh you're welcome," Mimi said surprised, "Huh…yeah I'm really sorry it just…I didn't really mean for that to come out…it's just…it…just…"

"I know…I'm sorry too," Roger replied as he heard the attendant announcing the final boarding for the flight to Santa Fe, "I guess…it's time for me to huh…you know…"

"Yeah your flight is boarding…I don't want to you to miss your plane," Mimi quickly said, "I'll see you in a few days and call me when…you fall…huh…I mean when you arrive in yeah."

The two of them traded one more kiss before Roger checked into the terminal as Mimi watched him boarding on, however she was shocked of how it turned out. What she didn't notice was Roger was thinking the same thing at the same time while he was on the plane waiting for it to take off. He was wondering how the heck did that happen and it was something he should didn't expect Mimi to say suddenly.

"I love you," Roger softly whispered to himself, "I love you, I love you. How hard is it to say?"

_Now…_

"So you told Roger you loved him?" Angel asked shocked, "How…did he react?"

"Angel it just happened I don't know how to explain why I said it but it was like something I've never felt before," Mimi replied, "It just came out like that…we were making out before he was boarding and I just said…I love you. However, it wasn't the reaction Roger expected because he was stunned and surprised. He backed off eventually and stopped and I looked at him bewildered realizing what I said to him and of course I didn't even know either."

"What happened next?" Angel asked.

"He just said…thank you and I suddenly replied back you're welcome," Mimi sighed, "If a guy says you're welcome…does that mean anything? I've only known him for a few months and suddenly I'm feeling something deeper than usual. I know he's already had to deal with the loss of April and he probably loved only one woman in his life and had a kid with her, the thing I'm worried about is…"

"You're not sure if he feels the same way too," Angel assured her, "Roger is someone different Mimi and he's had his share of high and low points…but don't doubt your true feelings for him. He'll probably say it when he is ready just have faith in him."

"But how do I know…if he does really love me?" Mimi wondered, "How will I know if he doesn't even know how he feels about me."

_Meanwhile in the loft…_

"I don't know what to say here…do I love her or not?" Roger replied on the other line on the phone in Santa Fe, "It just came out suddenly and I'm like oh my God I can't believe it! I don't want to be afraid to tell Mimi how I feel…but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet or better yet if I deserve to be loved by her. I've haven't been in love with anyone besides April since then but now…Mimi comes into my life and suddenly I'm viewing things from a different retrospective. I want to feel these things but I'm just confused right now."

However on the other end of the phone, Courtney was too confused to figure out what her dad was talking about despite the fact it was on speaker phone and the seven year old girl's mind was left in wonder to figure out what Roger was talking about.

"You talk a lot daddy and I don't understand what you are saying," Courtney replied, "You're saying things that make my head hurt and you're all the way in Santa Fe. When will you be back daddy because Uncle Mark is boring to play with?"

"I'll be back by the end of the week sweetie," Roger replied on the other end, "I'm aiming to leave early by Friday so I can come back Saturday and watch Aunt Mimi dance and to see my little miracle girl."

"I miss you daddy I didn't want you to go to Santa Fe," Courtney sighed, "You've never been away from home in a long time daddy. Couldn't I come with you daddy?"

"I wish I could have taken you but you have school and I didn't want you to miss school but I promise the next time I go to Santa Fe I'll take you with me," Roger said, "Where's your Uncle Mark by the way?"

"I'm right here Roger you're on speaker," Mark said from the couch, "It makes it easier for us to talk to you. I know you're calling to ensure us you got in safely and don't worry Courtney is in good hands while you're away I assure you that. I'm not going to corrupt my niece's mind while you're away. Anyways I always got Mimi and the others to help out just in case you don't trust me to take care of Courtney but she's well look after Roger. I'm probably guessing that the only reason why you'd called is to let us know you arrived safely or…is there something else you wanted to talk about?"

"Uncle Mark daddy was talking a lot and I don't understand what he is saying," Courtney replied on the other end, "He kept talking and talking about mushy stuff I don't know what grown ups talk about."

"You can stop now tiny," Roger replied on the other end, "Being almost 3000 miles away from home you probably know that is there is something wrong which I don't want to discuss about. My daughter is in the room and this is more of the PG rated to PG 13 topic I need to discuss about now. Courtney if you can hear me I need you to leave the room for a minute while I talk to Uncle Mark okay tiny? I love you and I promise I'll call you back soon and be a good girl okay? I don't want to come back and find out that you were a little terror to your uncles and aunts okay?"

"Okay daddy I love you come back home soon," Courtney said as she left the room.

"Judging by your tone of voice you didn't want Courtney in the room to tell me something that was very important," Mark said, "I'm guessing…it has to do with Mimi or it is…"

"This morning when Mimi dropped me off at the airport," Roger answered, "Mimi said three words I thought I wouldn't expect to hear."

"What do you mean Mimi told you…oh my God she didn't say what I'm guessing?"

"Mark…Mimi said I love you," Roger slowly answered, "Right before I left."

"Shut up Roger!" Mark yelled shocked, "Mimi said that to you? Well…what did you say?"

"I said…uh thank you," Roger replied while Mark laughed on the other end, "What's so funny about that Mark? I didn't expect that to happen and like gosh I'm not sure if I'm ready to fall in love again with someone besides April. I do really have feelings for Mimi and I care about her a lot and she means everything to me but I'm not ready to love someone all over again. I feel terrible she poured her heart out to me and I just…said thank you."

"You're worried because you don't know how to say it don't you," Mark said as he began to yawn, "It's like 11:30pm at night here and I'm guessing with the time difference I need to sleep soon. You want to tell her but the problem is you want to say it when you mean it. You know Mimi meant it when she told you she loved you but you doubt yourself because of everything that happened with April's accident and the disownment by your family. I'll tell you this Roger she has changed you in ways you can't imagine and you will know when the time is right to say it when you truly realize how you feel." After the two finished talking, Mark hung up the phone hoping that he could help Roger realize his true feelings for Mimi.

_Santa Fe, New Mexico…_

A few days passed and Roger was busy attending meetings at Cardigan Records to present his new demos to the company. The executives were impressed with Roger's work that they wanted him to do a pre-recording of one of his songs. Day by day Roger was keeping contact with his bosses at Spark Records to update them on how the deals were going. However, he was having a hard time focusing on his initial job interview to work to Cardigan Records with Mimi on his mind. He was in the recording studio watching one of Cardigan's recording artist Karen Tang sing a verse of one of his songs.

"Okay Karen I need you to take it from the top again," Roger announced while Karen was in the recording booth, "Just start from the last verse."

"There are those who shield their hearts, those who quit before they start, who frozen up the part of them that feels," Karen sang, "When the dark they lost their sight, like a ship without a star in the night, so hold on tight."

"Okay you can stop from there," Roger said as he stopped the recording, "So Mr. Ward what do you think? I was working on it sometime for awhile and I started recording with a few of the artists at Spark just for a demo until it gets produced."

"I got to say that this song of yours is a piece of work Mr. Davis do you have a title for it?" Mr. Ward asked, "Karen you can take five and ease up on your voice."

"Actually…it's called Love Heals," Roger said, "I wrote it sometime a few years back but I didn't finish it. Just recently I found it and then…suddenly I felt like I wanted to finish it."

"You've been here for about maybe a few days now and I see you're a hard worker," Mr. Ward added, "You know that this business trip is a job interview to find some up and coming songwriters and we've had business deals with Spark Records for over 3 years and you're name has been well respected by your company. Grant says that you're a talented musician as well that's why he sent me some of your demos to consider as a candidate for this job. We've been seeking talent from the east coast for a long time and you've been with Spark Records for over 8 years now. So far you are one of the top candidates for this job and I'll be in New York in a few weeks to announce the final decision."

"So there is a chance that some of my stuff will get produced if I get this job?" Roger asked.

"Very highly and your chance to even work with some of our top artists here at Cardigan," Mr. Ward added, "This is a very high demanded company and your work and dedication to the music business has stood out. You'll never know Mr. Davis that maybe you'll get this job. I do like that song Love Heals and if you get that song produced under our record company you'll be a hit on the west coast here." After a few hours of pre-recording, Roger took a break when he got a call from on his phone.

"Hello…Roger Davis speaking," he replied as he heard Mimi on the other line, "Hey baby how are you doing?"

"I haven't heard from you in the last few days," Mimi replied on the other end, "It's been tiring and I've been preparing for Saturday nonstop with all the rehearsals. I miss you a lot Roger although you've only been gone foe a few days only but it seems like a long time."

"I know that feeling I've been swamped with work the minute I got here recording my demos so the executives of Cardigan Records can hear them," Roger replied, "It's part of the job interview here for the selected candidates invited to come. There were about seven from the east coast they were considering and I was one of them. Mimi? Mimi are you still there?" It was a shock for Mimi to find out the reason why Roger went to Santa Fe…for a job interview at Cardigan Records and she didn't know about that.

"Wow…I didn't know about that you didn't mention about considering a job at Cardigan Records in Santa Fe," Mimi sighed, "How long have you been applying?"

"Actually…I didn't really expect this to happen I found out at around Christmas time that my boss Grant recommended me as a candidate," Roger replied, "I know I should have told you sooner or later about this but…it was an opportunity of a lifetime, my dream to remember."

"So I'm hinting you're planning to pack up and move 3000 miles away from New York if you get this job or not?" Mimi replied, "Does anyone get a say in this like me for instance? Why didn't you tell me that you were considering a job in Santa Fe?"

"I don't even know if I got the job yet or not Mimi you're acting like if I was going to move away or something when I don't even know if they'll want me or not," Roger argued, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner or later but I just went for the sake of going and trying out something out of the ordinary. I was hoping you'd understand…why I wanted to go and that is my blaze of glory I wanted to go for."

"I understand and I'll support you by any means," Mimi said, "I called you to see how things were going and now suddenly we're unexpectedly arguing over the telephone here. Are you just bringing up the topic of the job in Santa Fe to avoid talking about something else that maybe on my boyfriend's mind?"

"Well I didn't really expect to tell you about Cardigan Records," Roger sighed, "But I think you probably might be upset with me mainly because right before I left…it…I…didn't say…"

"What didn't you say?" Mimi asked lying knowing to what Roger was talking about.

"I didn't say…when you said…" Roger stuttered on the phone, "Never mind…just forget it I'll see you in a few days…"

"Roger…I know it's still a shock to you and I don't blame you," Mimi said, "I just wish…we had an idea of where things were going now between us. I sometimes feel I maybe pressuring you into this whole relationship and that I'm making you become something that you don't want to be in this relationship. I'm probably wishing that we can go back a few days ago and I regret saying I love you when you weren't ready to tell me how you truly felt. Are you scared about your true feelings because you can say it right now?"

"Here's the truth I've never said it to anyone besides April…but she's dead," Roger said, "I don't know…when you said it to me…I should have told you right back but then…"

"You felt awkward I guess…I'm not April, I'm not your wife," Mimi sighed, "When I said…I mean when I said it I meant it and it felt like the right time."

"Listen I don't…I don't want to discuss that right now," Roger sighed, "I got to go now I'll see you in a few days. Promise to look after Courtney till I return home?"

"Of course Roger she's in good hands," Mimi replied on the other end, "I guess…I'll see you when you get back. I…I…I mean take care baby."

"You too Mimi," Roger replied as they both hung up. He felt even guiltier by revealing the truth behind his trip to Santa Fe, but even worse the whole "I love you" issue. He found himself in a position to figure out where things truly stand between him and Mimi. The fact of the matter stands is he was in love with Mimi but was he ready to fall in love all over again?

"_I should tell you…but how?"_ Roger thought to himself, _"I should tell you…that I love you but do I really mean it? If I don't…then I'm going to ruin something I know that is good…"_ He was looking through his planner trying to figure out what his next move was.

_New York City…_

The day of the Mimi's dance competition came, however Mimi was a nervous wrack. This was her first big dance competition and she was wearing the dance outfit Angel made for her. It was fortunate for the others to cheer on the young dancer. Mark had the camera again on him and Courtney brought the video camera Mark got her for her birthday. Mimi was going over the dance steps with her partner Kyle minutes before the competition was going to begin.

"So Mimi today is the big day," Mark said video taping her, "How do you feel?"

"How do you think I feel?" Mimi replied, "Fifty percent excited, twenty percent nervous, ten percent worried, and twenty percent upset that my boyfriend isn't here to see me dance…I kind had a little fallout with Roger. I know news broadcasts fast when you all found out I told Roger I loved him probably at the wrong time."

"Mimi chica relax I know you two seem to be having problems right now but you need to focus on the competition," Angel assured her, "You've worked hard on this for months and today is your big moment. Just dance your heart out and give them all you got…we believe in you."

"Thanks you guys for supporting me I don't know where I'd be without you," Mimi smiled, "I heard from Kyle that Miss McRae invited some her former colleagues from the Avalon School of Dance from London to the competition. Rumor has it that they're looking for some dance teachers to teach in London. I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds exciting."

"Sounds like a similar opportunity a particular musician boyfriend is going after," Maureen added, "Oh my gosh Mimi I didn't mean it in that sense…I mean…"

"It's okay Maureen I understand I got dreams to remember too," Mimi replied realizing that maybe she was too hard on Roger, "His dream to finally get one of his songs produced by a top record company and maybe go out in see the world…I don't want him to give up on that."

"Love is always about sacrifices too," Collins replied, "But at the same time…it can be unpredictable too. No one ever knows what happens when you're in love."

"Mimi you're up now," Joanne announced as they saw the other competitors coming out, "We'll be rooting for you girl…break a leg."

"Good luck Aunt Mimi," Courtney smiled giving her a hug, "To me you're the best dancer."

"Thanks Courtney I really appreciate you being my number one fan," Mimi smiled as Kyle was waiting for her, "Okay…well here we go then."

"Go Mimi knock them dead!" they all replied as they headed out to the dance floor and took their seats to watch the competition.

"Good even ladies and gentlemen," the host announced, "Welcome to the 57th annual Park Ave Ballroom Dance Competition. Tonight we have a extraordinary competition ahead of us for the evening showcasing the array of dance categories. We have many couples competing tonight who have been practicing and preparing for months. With that saying…please enjoy tonight's competition. Our first category tonight will be the Latin Dance competition. We got eleven couples dancing and here they are."

Mimi came out a few moments later with her dance partner Kyle and the other competitors came out to the dance floor. The others cheered from the stands as the first dances that performed was the Samba and Cha Cha. They were pretty impressed with Mimi's performance despite this was her first competition while Mimi kept her focus on dancing. It was very fast pace and it surprised the others of how quick Mimi's steps were on the dance floor. The judges seemed very impressed with the competitors. After they were finished performing their dances, the judges picked the final 5 couples and luckily enough, Mimi and Kyle were in.

"Oh honey I'm so proud of you," Kyle's fiancée Rosie smiled, "You're in the finals."

"I know one more round and then…I don't know this is exciting," Kyle replied, "Thank you again for your help Mimi."

"No problem besides this a team effort Kyle," Mimi replied, "Besides…you still have a long night ahead of you with Rosie."

"Is my suit ready for the Standard competition?" Kyle asked.

"Ready as it should be," Rosie replied as her and Kyle went off for a moment, "The finals don't start till later on after the first round of Standard competition. You should rest first Mimi."

"Thanks," Mimi said as she took a walk in the hallway. She met up with the others while they were congratulating her on making the finals. Afterwards, she found herself in the lobby when she heard a familiar voice.

"Mimi!" the voice called out and she turned around to find Roger with a bouquet of roses. She was surprised to suddenly see him there.

"Roger what are you doing here?" Mimi replied shocked, "I thought you couldn't make it back on time! What are you doing here?"

"What is it a crime to see my girlfriend dance in the biggest competition she's been preparing for months?" Roger smiled, "Besides…I was here the whole entire time watching from the back. I wanted to surprise you by coming back a day early and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner or later. I came last night and stayed at a hotel room till the next morning. I dropped by the loft to drop off my stuff and I came here. The others don't know I'm back but I wanted to surprise them…but it was you I wanted to surprise."

"Well I'm glad you're back," Mimi smiled giving him a kiss, "It's pretty nerve wracking dancing out there in front of those people…why did you come back early?"

"Because I know…it would mean a lot to me seeing out there dancing and going after what you wanted," Roger said, "I'm sorry…for not telling you about the reason behind my trip to Santa Fe and you deserved to know about it because we'd had to be honest in this relationship. I did a lot of thinking and I know I'm a difficult person to be around with. You put up with me than any other person would and that is something I like about you."

"Is that all?" Mimi asked, "The reason I want to be with you is because I feel that you're something special to me and I want to know where we stand in this relationship. I don't want to make you feel unsure about your true feelings for me and I understand…that I'll wait a bit longer than usual but I'll wait for you."

"To me no matter how unsure I can be or how messed up and confused I'll be…you'll always be perfect in my eyes," Roger smiled giving her a kiss back, "Even on that dance floor you were perfect to make it in the finals. You know I'll be routing for you."

"I know that because you're telling me that right now," Mimi replied. The two began to embrace as Roger suddenly whispered in Mimi's ears the three words she wanted to hear.

"I should tell you…I love you," Roger whispered.

"What…did you say?" Mimi asked.

"I love you Mimi," Roger smiled at her, "I love you and I should have told you that before but now…I can say because I really mean it." Mimi smiled as she finally was happy to hear what she waited for a long time to hear. She then suddenly replied back with a kiss two words.

"…Thank you," Mimi smiled giving Roger a kiss back now knowing that he loved her.


	15. The Desperate Kingdom of Love

**Chapter 15: The Desperate Kingdom of Love **

Things were looking bright for Roger and Mimi after declaring their love for each other at the Dance Competition. It was fortunate that Roger did come back early to watch Mimi place first in the competition and win. However, even though their relationship seems to be stronger than ever, their dreams and ambitions of music and dance was what seemed to cause some conflict of interest. They were pursuing life careers they worked hard to achieve but at times they question their reasons behind their relationship or where they wanted to go.

After Roger came home from work, he picked up Courtney from school and headed back home to find Mimi reading a letter. Roger and Mimi kissed as Courtney looked on to see her dad and his girlfriend make out. It was Memorial Day long weekend the weather was getting extremely warm and nice outside. However, Mimi tried to hide the letter she was reading as Roger was trying to read it as they headed to the loft.

"Hey baby…what do you have there?" Roger asked as the two made out, "Can I see?"

"It's actually a letter from Ms. McRae," Mimi replied, "Remember what happened after the competition that night when Ms. McRae took me aside?"

"Why is it important?" Roger asked, "Did something happen that I'm not aware of?"

"The letter…was actually an audition, actually more like a job interview," Mimi added, "I handed in a two weeks notice to my manager at The Cat Scratch Club saying I'm quitting definitely this time. The audition…is sometime next week for sure for a teaching gig at The Avalon School of Dance in London."

"Wow…London, England, that must be exciting," Roger said as he pulled back a bit, "I'm very…happy for you Mimi you're finally achieving your dream."

"You seem upset Roger what's wrong?" Mimi asked, "C'mon baby talk to me then?"

"It's just I…it's just…" Roger replied as suddenly Courtney passed out again as the two saw her on the floor, "Oh my God Courtney! Mimi get me her insulin in her backpack! Courtney!"

"Daddy," Courtney whispered as her eyes opened, "Daddy…I feel dizzy."

"C'mon sweetie here I'm giving you your insulin okay?" Roger replied as the two of them brought Courtney to the couch, "Okay sweetie remember don't look at the needle okay? Look at Mimi okay?"

"Okay daddy," Courtney replied as Roger injected her with the needle, "It…hurts daddy."

"Don't worry kiddo we're here trust us okay?" Mimi smiled as she sat next to Courtney, "I'm not going anywhere okay?"

"Then does that mean you're not going to London Aunt Mimi?" Courtney suddenly asked, "I don't want you to go…if you go then whose going to play with me? Who's going to read A Walk to Remember and teach me how to dance? I like it when you're here with us because you make daddy smile and you make me smile too."

"C'mon sweetie just rest first okay?" Roger replied as Courtney fell asleep on the couch, "Just take it easy okay honey?" After Courtney fell asleep Mimi went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water, "Mimi…listen I'm sorry for what Courtney said to you and stuff and I'm sorry for my reaction…"

"Roger it's alright…I understand maybe we shouldn't talk about our careers in front of her because honestly I think she likes to see us together," Mimi replied, "I'm beginning to fall in love with your daughter and she adores me like no child I've ever met. I love you Roger I really do…but sometimes I feel that I'm only in this relationship because of Courtney. I feel like I'm obligated to you and…"

"Is that how you see things?" Roger asked, "Do you feel I'm using my daughter to keep you in this relationship because I would feel guilty for doing that. I love you Mimi and I just…I just don't want to screw things up the second time around. Don't ever think that you're only in this relationship with me so I can try to make you play mother to Courtney. However, I do appreciate that my daughter does love you a lot and I really do love you a lot. She always used to tell me on how much she adores you for redecorating her room and all."

"I'm surprised she hasn't even asked if you and I were going to get married soon. Most kids with single parents dating someone else that isn't their mom or dad would ask if their parents' new boyfriend or girlfriend would get married one day. However knowing your circumstance do you ever plan to remarry one day Roger?"

"I've…never thought about it unless I felt like it was something I wanted. I spent almost six years now wondering if I'm ever able to remarry and give Courtney the family she always wanted. Would…you ever consider marrying a guy like me? I love you a lot and despite being HIV positive knowing that our relationship is one complicated broken road…I would walk it with you all the way."

"I love you and that is all that matters now," Mimi smiled kissing him, "I would marry someone like you one day."

During the long Memorial Day weekend, Benny dropped by the loft unexpectedly one morning while the others came by for breakfast. Unfortunately, they didn't have any plans to go away for the long weekend until Benny pulled up in his Ranger Rover.

"Roger! Mark! Are you guys up there?" Benny called, "Let me up! I got something for you!"

"I thought the rent wasn't due yet!" Roger yelled, "What the hell are you doing here? I thought Muffy was pregnant still! Where's Marcus?"

"She went upstate this weekend to visit some relatives and took Marcus with her," Benny replied entering the loft, "I was at the office this morning with my investor a.k.a father-in-law and I finally got it. So what are you guys waiting for? Do you Bohemians tend to spend the entire long weekend in the loft doing nothing c'mon are you guys going to pack?"

"And exactly where are we going Benny?" Maureen asked.

"Is this some sick cruel joke or something?" Roger asked suspiciously, "What are you talking about?"

"Remember that land that I was talking about a few years back?" Benny asked as he gave a land title deed to Roger, "You remember that time we went up to Westport and we were wondering around that residential area of developed model homes?"

"Yeah I remember what about it?" Roger asked.

"Where is Westport anyways?" Mimi asked, "Oh sorry I forgot…Muffy lives there doesn't she?"

"It's Allison and Westport is just a few miles outside the city," Benny added, "We like to describe Westport as well sort of New York's Orange County of California. Anyways I wanted to give you guys this particular title deed, especially you Roger. I wanted to give this to you as a gift and show you the new property…it's kind of a long weekend getaway. Allison is not around and the entire family is going upstate so do you guys want to camp out?"

"Okay the first time we went up there you almost got us arrested for trespassing," Mark argued, "If you didn't shack up with Allison back then…well hey what the heck let's go!"

"Alright let's go then…at least it beats around staying in," Roger smiled as him and Mimi took the land deed, "So…what particular land is it anyways?"

"I'll show you guys when we get there," Benny replied.

After Benny convinced the others to pack, they all headed up to Westport to show the others the developed model homes, and the particular model home he bought the ownership. But the car ride up to Westport took nearly the entire afternoon that it was nearly sunset when they got there. Since Benny couldn't fit everyone in his Ranger Rover, Joanne brought her car to carpool herself, Maureen, Mark and Angel in her car while Benny drove Collins, Roger Mimi and Courtney in the other car. They arrived at the developed model home in Westport.

"Okay here we are," Benny smiled coming out of the car, "This is where we're spending the long weekend. Joanne you can park your car next to mine." After everyone unloaded their stuff and the cars were parked, everyone took their flashlights and looked around the place.

"Where the heck are we?" Joanne asked, "What is this place?"

"It seems so dark," Angel replied, "I can't see a thing in here."

"Hey…I recognize this place," Collins replied, "This…isn't the old Grey family model home?"

"Daddy it's so dark in here," Courtney replied, "I can't see anything."

"Oh Benny…the deed you gave me is to this place?" Roger asked shocked, "This is the old model home we almost got arrested at but why?"

"You wanted this place the most," Benny replied, "You talked about one day living here and I was just going to buy this place as another investment. The Greys designed this house to replicate the one they used to own in Orange County, California. The Greys used to own a lot of housing developments up here in Westport and parts of the Hampton, they wanted to work on renovating this place…however the contractors never got to finish renovating this place. So far this place has been under renovations for 7 years. You remember the first time we came here?"

"Yeah we went up here after one of Roger's gigs that night," Mark replied as they all wonder around the place, "Most of us considered the old Grey Model Home the look out point for us to have make out sessions and beat down on stolli. Benny met Allison here 7 years ago and she was actually the one who prevented the cops from arresting us. Since this place has a lot of memories I thought it would be nice to hand it over to you guys…since I have no use for it. I don't care who ends up owning this place, but consider this a present."

"Roger should keep it," Maureen replied, "Knowing that since it's one of those charity gifts from Benny the lapdog…he does have a point. I mean considering the fact that technically this isn't a finished property if anyone should keep that title deed Roger deserves it. The few times we were up here as roommates before Roger always had an eye for this place and what would any of us want with an unfinished house."

"Okay so now you all voted I should keep this dilapidated house let's hit the road then," Roger replied as Benny stopped him.

"Actually…this is where we're spending the long weekend," Benny added, "Hey I thought it would be a change for once you know to squat in Roger's new model home and camp out here that's why I asked you guys to pack some camping gear."

"Are you insisting we spend the long weekend here?" Mimi asked, "Benny this is considered illegal and trespassing is also another criminal offense here. Are you sure you're actually acting like Benjamin Coffin III, the lapdog landlord and friend we know about? I mean…out of all places to spend Memorial Day weekend…you want all us to spend it in a developed model home?"

"Is that a problem?" Benny asked, "This is like going Bohemian in the higher class isn't it?"

"I hate saying this sometimes but Benny does have a point and I do think this maybe a bit orthodox," Roger said setting up a sleeping bag and tent, "But I say since this is technically now my house legally…are you guys going to make yourselves welcomed or not?"

"This has illegal boundaries written all over it but what the hell?" Mimi smiled as she and the others started setting up tents throughout different parts of the house, "I guess we get to occupy the dining room shall we? My boyfriend got himself a new model home although it may never be finished…but it's still cozy."

Later on, Roger and Mimi continued to tour the model home as they noticed that there was still lot scaffolding. In the backyard, they spotted an empty cement pool and plastic hanging from the doorframes. The walls and molding has only been partially completed and translucent plastic hanging on the parts that are supposed to be the glass windows. Joanne and Maureen were lighting the camping lanterns that they retrieved from Joanne's car.

"I haven't been here in ages but I'm glad to come back," Roger smiled, "This may sound stupid…but I dreamed about living in a house like this one day when I became a famous songwriter. I would move upstate with my family and give them a life that is anything other than the Bohemian lifestyle in Alphabet City. I really don't have much of a family left after April died and my own family disowned me for April's death. I consider you guys as my only family and Courtney…and I truly consider you Mimi as the closet thing I have to a family."

"You wanted to live here to raise Courtney," Mimi added, "I believe it can come true one day whenever they decide to finish this house. I would want to live a house like this outside of the city where you don't have to worry about drug addicts running around, facing eviction, and the crime rate. If I lived in this house I would go swimming every day during the summer and I would raise our children here. I would want to live upstate or maybe live somewhere in Europe and we could probably enroll our kids in good decent schools."

"Have you…thought a lot about our future together?" Roger suddenly asked, "I'm sorry…I shouldn't put you on the spot like that because I haven't thought about life after April. All I know is focusing on Courtney. I know we've been dating for about 5 months now and I really don't think about that stuff much. I sometimes think about this stuff too privately to myself and the one thing I always think about is Courtney's future and give her the one thing she'll probably need the most in her life…a mother. If we leave Alphabet City together with Courtney and finish up the model home, we can move up to Westport together. I see myself living here one day with you and Courtney as a family together because you two are what I got left to live for."

I'm sorry…you said you see you, me and Courtney as a family together?" Mimi replied, "I'm trying to analyze the situation here. One minute we're talking about seeing this house be finished soon, and then the next minute we're discussing about starting a family together and me becoming a stepmother to Courtney and moving to Westport. This is an idealistic future that also has its upsides and downsides to it…and the main one that will be a concern to us is the fact that any kid I give birth will have a high chance of being born with HIV. You say you love me and I'm grateful for that…but do you think we're jumping the gun here and planning about maybe the next 20 years of our lives?"

"Look ever since I first met you, I was a complete mess nearly wishing everyday I would be forgiven for killing the mother of my daughter," Roger sighed, "I had no intentions of looking forward to the future ahead of me because I thought that I'll let my baggage claim me. But you changed my life in ways I couldn't imagine. I am learning to open up to people, and I am valuing what I have with my daughter and for the first time in a long time, I am actually planning now where I want to see my future with you. You might have to deal with living with a guy who now wants to plan his future despite the crap I'm going through because I see myself regaining everything I've lost with you now. I see myself spending the rest of my life with you and Courtney and if it scares you…then deal with it."

"But how can we be sure we'll still end up together even after the end of the year or maybe in the long run?" Mimi asked, "You and I are sick with HIV and we are fully aware that one day it will kill one of us and leave the other in grief. However, I don't like having my entire life planned out for me because I had to deal with that when I was living at home. I ran away because of that and for other reasons that I will not disclose right now. I like not knowing what will happen right now because all that matters to me is what happens today instead. I like to expect the unexpected and not have my whole future dictated to me. If that scares you and you don't want to be with me…then fine but deal with it."

"Okay then fine I'll stop because all that matters to me is that you and me are in love and I'm happy with what we have," Roger smiled as the two kissed.

The next day, the others started exploring the area around the housing developments at Westport. First they had to make sure to hide their stuff in a secure area in case the police were patrolling the area. Angel and the girls took Courtney up ahead to another developing model home while the guys were outside drinking strolli. They noticed Roger staring at Courtney and Mimi together up ahead with Joanne, Maureen and Angel.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" Roger asked the guys.

"Okay fire away," Mark replied, "What is the matter?"

"When do you know is it's the right time to marry someone?" Roger asked as he turned to Benny, "Hey Benny…out of curiosity what made you marry Allison besides the fact you got her pregnant with your kid. You two are always constantly at each others' throats and practically screwing around with other people. After nearly seven years of marriage, why did you still stay with her? Was it because you had to for your son's sake or you loved her?"

"Allison and I will always have our differences and each of us was at fault for the flaws in our relationships," Benny replied, "Don't get me wrong but I love Allison and I married her because I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. It was true I sold out the day we eloped to get married in the Hamptons. Originally she planned got accepted to Berkley and she gave it up for me...even if she went against her father's wishes. You marry someone to endure everything in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till deaths do you part."

"Wow you never told us that," Collins replied, "Seeing Benny being opened and honest is kind of a surprising trait. All I remember you as is being stuck up and egotistic and the rich yuppie we've come to known you as."

"People do surprise you Collins," Benny added, "So…Roger why suddenly the curious question of marriage all of a sudden? You never talked about remarrying or evening dating for that matter after April died. If you love someone with all your heart and soul is willing to commit yourself to spending the rest of your life with that person, then you know you're ready. I married Allison because I knew she was the one for me…I married her out of love, commitment and obligation. I promised I would spend the rest of my life with this woman without running from her and sticking by her through all the shit that's happened."

"What if you loved someone so much you would do anything to prevent losing them for the rest of your life?" Roger asked, "Would you marry them in a heartbeat?"

"It all depends on your logic and motives behind it," Benny replied, "All I can suggest to you Roger is if you're planning to spend the rest of your life with Mimi then think about. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you have to be if this is what you want for you and Mimi. Then there is Courtney to consider accepting the concept of a stepmother. Will there some other motives to consider marrying Mimi than what is on your mind?"

"I…just don't want to lose her that's all," Roger sighed, "She is what keeps me in line next to my daughter. All I want is to give Courtney the family she was deprived of for six years. I promised April that I wasn't going to let Courtney turn out like me and I going to get my redemption for everything I did. I know that I don't want to make the same mistake twice and I want to make things right for once in my life…I'm afraid of losing Mimi!"

"Is…that true?" a voice said with Courtney in hand. Roger turned around and found Mimi, "Is that true…you're afraid of losing me?"

"Yes…you heard what I said?" Roger suddenly asked, "The two of you heard every word?"

"Do you want to marry Aunt Mimi daddy?" Courtney asked as she turned to Mimi, "I heard you want to marry her…you want me to have a mommy."

"Oh gosh Mimi I didn't mean to put you on the spot," Roger replied nervously, "Please…at least say something to show I'm not scaring you."

"Okay…what's there to say except I just overheard my boyfriend he wants to marry me because he's afraid of losing me," Mimi answered, "Next to Courtney…I'm what keeps you in line. Look I love you a lot but this…is also what I had on my mind too after your trip to Santa Fe. I…have to think about this for a little while. Courtney I just need to think for a little while I'm leaving you with your dad."

"Aunt Mimi what's wrong? Is it me?" Courtney asked, "Is it what daddy said? I'm sorry if it's my fault."

"No sweetie nothing is your fault," Mimi and Roger both replied, "You're not at fault for anything."

"What your dad is saying is we just need some time to ourselves alone," Mimi said as she walked off away, "If…you need me Roger I'll be around and we'll meet up after sunset. I should tell you something then."

"I'll wait till after sunset," Roger said, "We'll just find each other then."

_After Sunset…_

Roger was waiting by the cars as he pulled out from his pocket a ring which once belonged to his grandmother…he was hoping maybe he'll give it one day to Mimi. In his mind basically he thought this engagement was an act of desperation. He leaned against Benny's Range Rover with Courtney pondering.

"Hey sweetie…would you be happy if I ever considered marrying Aunt Mimi?" Roger asked.

"It wouldn't matter but I would like her to be my new mommy," Courtney smiled, "She's the nicest and prettiest lady you ever liked daddy. You two look cute together as Uncle Mark says. I don't want her to go away…and I don't want you to go away too daddy."

"I know kiddo and I don't want to lose either you or her," Roger replied holding his daughter's hand, "You two are all I got left that matters to me."

"Just like how you matter to me," Mimi came out replying, "Now you know what it feels like to fear losing someone that matters to you. I admitted I was scared that you leave once you got the job in Santa Fe just like how you were afraid of me getting the job in London. We may love each other Roger but our dreams is what will separate us somehow in the end because it is something we've been pursuing for years…what you call your one glaze of glory."

"Look if I scared you in any chance with a surprise proposal of some sort I'm sorry," Roger added, "It might have been a desperate act of something because of fear…but I didn't know what I was thinking at first. However, I know now why I was talking about the concept of marriage earlier because I wanted to make things right for once…if you would consider it."

"Consider the matrimony of marriage?" Mimi smiled as she held Roger's hand, "Will…you be willing to go through this all the way if I said yes?" Roger got down on one knee and held Mimi's hand as he pulled out a ring.

"Mimi Marquez…will you marry me?" Roger smiled, "Will you be a family with Courtney and me?"

"If this is what you truly desire in your heart," Mimi smiled, "Then…I will accept. Yes…I will marry you tonight."

"Okay then that's settled then," Roger replied as the two kissed, "Fine we'll find a wedding chapel somewhere in Westport and get hitched tonight then…just you and me and Courtney as our witness."

"I know this seems like a big rush…but I do like the whole eloping thing," Mimi smiled kissing Roger back, "Seems very Romeo and Juliet like by getting a quick marriage to announce their true love just like us."

"So will that mean by tonight Aunt Mimi is going to be part of our family?" Courtney asked.

"That's right my little miracle girl you're finally going to get a new mommy," Roger smiled as he hugged the both of them, "And the three of us will be a family."

"Hooray daddy and Aunt Mimi are getting married!" Courtney smiled giving them hugs, "I'm going to have a new mommy! I finally have a new mommy! We're going to be a family!"

"But first daddy needs to hotwire Uncle Benny's Range Rover so we can drive to Westport and get married," Roger replied as he found the driver door to the Range Rover opened, "He wouldn't mind would he?"

"This so Bohemian and juvenile of us," Mimi laughed as she tried to help Roger, "Some quick wheels to get us hitched by tonight."

"And what wouldn't Benny mind huh?" Benny said as he saw Roger and Mimi trying to hotwire his car, "I wouldn't mind sticking my nose in unnecessary business but would I wonder why you two are trying to hotwire my car?"

"Well you see it's just huh…" the two of them tried to explain as Benny looked on suspicious.

"Daddy and Aunt Mimi are going to get married tonight!" Courtney replied, "But they want to get married now so they said it's a secret!"

"You two…are seriously going to elope tonight?" Benny asked, "This is no joke right?"

"A desperate act of love between two people who truly don't want to lose each other," the two of them replied holding hands, "It's a rush and this is our way of expressing it. Please…don't breathe a word to the others Benny."

"If it's in the name of true love…then elope," Benny replied as he pulled out the keys, "C'mon Courtney we're going to a wedding and watch Roger and Mimi get married."

"Thank you Benny," Roger replied, "So are you ready for the next step?"

"Ready as I will be with you," Mimi smiled as Benny drove the newly engaged couples to a nearby wedding chapel with Courtney to witness Roger and Mimi get married.


	16. I Got Dreams to Remember

**Chapter 16: I Got Dreams to Remember**

Summer already came in New York City and summer vacation was well on its way. It was already July and two months passed since Roger and Mimi eloped and married during the Memorial Day long weekend. Courtney was happier than ever to have Mimi as a new stepmother and it strengthened the relationship between the two of them. Mimi moved into the loft with Roger, Courtney and Mark now she was Mimi Marquez-Davis, while Collins and Angel moved into Mimi's old apartment.

"Huh Aunt Mimi…huh I mean mommy," Courtney smiled greeting her at the door, "Is daddy home yet?"

"I'm not sure kiddo," Mimi replied as she brought in the groceries, "I think I'm getting used to this whole parenting thing. Mark has Roger called yet?"

"Apparently he hasn't come yet," Mark replied as he was doing some stuff for work, "He said he had to stay behind at work for a little while."

"He always seems to be at work a bit longer than usual ever since we got married," Mimi sighed, "I don't know…part of me loves him so much and Courtney. Mark is it okay if we talk in private while I get dinner ready for us."

"Okay let me just finish up," Mark replied.

"Mama is it okay if watch A Walk to Remember?" Courtney asked giving Mimi a puppy dog look, "Please…it can be our little secret from daddy?"

"You're pretty sneaky for a seven year old stepdaughter," Mimi smiled, "Alright put the movie in I promise I won't tell your dad okay?"

"Thank you mama," Courtney smiled as she was watching in the living room, "I love you."

"I know you did kiddo right back at you I love you too," Mimi smiled watching her, "She's a sweet little girl…something I would want in a child of my own, but now we're practically a family now what Roger wanted, us to be a family, him, Courtney and I. Mark…why does it suddenly feel like I only married him fearing we might lose each other?"

"You guys have barely been married for a practically over a month now," Mark said as he was chopping vegetables, "We didn't expect you to make a move like elope in Westport and your only witness at your secret ceremony was Benny and your daughter. Exactly what made you two…no actually let me rephrase the question…what made you want to marry Roger?"

"I love him…something inside of me asked me what I had to do in order to keep this relationship going? I came to New York remember I had a dream to pursue and make something better of my life. Before I was just living it up, getting high, fooling around to a point it ended up being sick due to my irrational way and it cost me everything I once had. However, I gained something better back in the end…maybe the dream I had before is different from the one I thought of before…or maybe I'm holding back."

"Very complex analogy of your marriage Mimi. So what I am guessing is part of you is wondering that you married Roger out of desperation and love, while the other part of you married him because of obligation and the cost of giving up something. Tell me something Mimi…how do you feel about Courtney? Do you think you married Roger because of him or you married him because of you're in love with his daughter? What's the answer Mimi?"

"Why am do I feel doubting marrying Roger?" Mimi sighed, "That's the last thing I don't want to be unsure about…I love Roger but I also have a dream I have to remember Mark."

"But you got to remember love is also about making choices and sacrifices," Mark replied, "But you got to remember what will make you happy more…what you have now or what you pursued working on long before? Sometimes the hardest thing about loving someone is you gain something at the price of losing something too."

"You're right…there are some things we both still need to learn," Mimi replied, "One of them is actually the definition of true love. You may feel you love someone…but you don't know how you truly feel until you realize it in the end."

Mimi went into the bedroom after they finished preparing dinner and waited for it to finish it in the oven. She walked to the dresser and pulled out a large envelope hidden in the drawer. She reread the letter over and over again wondering what she was going to do next. She hid the envelope when Courtney came into the bedroom.

"Mama…what are you doing?" Courtney asked, "Are you alright? You look unhappy."

"Nothing's wrong sweetie I thought you were watching the movie," Mimi replied, "Is something the matter Courtney?"

"Mama…they talk about love in that movie a lot," Courtney replied, "Why do grown ups like to talk about falling in love with each other?"

"Well…when two people are in love they like to express it in ways to show affection for each other," Mimi said, "You're still too young to understand what true love is for your age because you young missy ask too many questions about things you shouldn't be knowing. However, as one of my acts as stepmother I need to figure out where my parental skills stand because I am still new to this. I've never been a mother to anybody before Courtney…and this is something completely different from what I originally had going in my life."

"Why are you sad then mama?" Courtney asked, "I don't want you to be sad because if you feel sad…then daddy will feel sad too and I will also. I like it when everyone is happy because it makes all the gloominess go away."

"I promise…I'll smile then for our little family," Mimi smiled giving the girl a hug, "Always remember two things: the first forget regret and the second no day but today."

"Why do I have to know that?" Courtney asked, "What does it mean?"

"It's a lesson about living life…as if everyday was your last day," Mimi added, "You don't live life without regretting anything. Always remember that you got dreams to remember Courtney promise me that okay?"

Later on Roger came home from work and found Mimi, Courtney, Mark and now the others crashing at the loft for dinner. It was customary to find his friends crashing every night at his place for dinner if they were too lazy to cook. He walked into the loft as everyone was preparing to eat.

"Mimi your Mr. Tough Guy of a husband is home," Maureen joked, "Can we eat now gosh we've been waiting for over an hour."

"Honestly I sense you all come here to our place to munch off us," Roger teased, "you guys probably like my wife's cooking so much you can smell it from anywhere that you'll be here in a heartbeat."

"Hey don't blame us if we now live in the apartment downstairs below you now," Collins remarked, "Since Mimi now lives here with you guys it would be a waste to let that little quaint apartment downstairs go to waste isn't that right Angel?"

"Darling Collins does have a point," Angel added as they all sat and ate, "Okay let's dig into Mimi's pasta now."

"Does anyone want to head out for some drinks at the Life Café?" Joanne asked, "Anyone up for that?"

"Pookie you can count me in," Maureen replied, "Mark? Collins? Angel you guys in?"

"Sure why not," they replied, "Mimi? Roger?"

"We'll have a little family night in," Roger replied looking at Mimi and Courtney, "Besides…I want at least some alone time with my wife and daughter."

"Are you sure?" Mark asked, "You three hardly don't go out much since you guys got hitched. I wonder if Courtney gets bored of staying in the house ."

"No way are you guys taking my daughter out if you guys plan to get drunk!" Roger argued, "I rather have her here safe in the care of her parents…besides I know if Collins is coming out tonight than there's drinking."

"You're lost then," the others replied as they left, "Take care you three."

"Well…it's just us now, our little family," Mimi replied, "So this is what our little family life has been like for the last two months?"

"This is family life for you," Roger smiled as the two made out, "So how was your day?"

"It's been quiet despite only having one class to teach," Mimi sighed, "I wish they would have given me some more classes. How about you? How was work? Did anything happen today?"

"Well…you can say same old routine over and over," Roger added, "Is…this how you really pictured our life now once we got married? I mean…we kind of rushed into this pretty fast and we didn't throw a fantasy wedding with all our family and friends. Our wedding was at a 24 hour drive thru wedding chapel where we paid $29.95 to get married with only Benny and Courtney as our witnesses. We couldn't throw a proper reception because our idealistic reception party was a late night dinner at a 24 hour Denny's Diner. I feel like sometimes this isn't what I pictured married life to be like."

"And what do you imagine married life like because frankly the last few weeks we've been spending our family time discussing the negatively of what our wedding was like instead of spending time together as a couple," Mimi argued, "Or even spending time as a family. Look I've never been married and the reason I married you was because I loved you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life being a family with you and Courtney. I wanted to be the mother you imagined your daughter to have, someone she can look up to as a female role model and admire...I love that little girl to death and I would do anything for her and you. I wonder…if there is something else you wanted out of this Roger because whenever I think I've figured out my husband out…it feels like you just detach all over again and I'm back to square one."

"I'm sorry babe I didn't want to make you feel like that," Roger apologized, "Look…this still all new to me and I'm still hesitating whether or not I deserve you or Courtney for that matter. It felt like I married you out of desperation to make you throw your life away, your dreams, and your future and spend the rest of your days as a housewife and stay at home mother to my kid. I feel like that you're holding something back from me…something that is making you want more in life than what you have right now."

"And what if it is something you decided to give up and take another course of action in life now huh?" Mimi asked, "Because I'm not the only one in this marriage you may had dreams and future they were pursuing and never mentioned on some missed opportunities they wanted. Do you think you can ever wonder what it's like to be happy in a marriage like…"

"Mama! Daddy why are you arguing?" Courtney asked, "Are you fighting?"

"Oh no sweetie it's…it's nothing," Roger replied looking at Mimi, "Hey…why don't the three of us watch a movie on the couch? We can watch something from Uncle Mark's movie shelf."

"Okay daddy," Courtney smiled as she came on the couch with the two of them, "I love you two so much in the whole world."

"Same to you kiddo," Mimi replied, "Same to you. Let's watch a movie together."

"I wish my friends can have such good mommies and daddies like you two," Courtney smiled as they were watching another movie, "I want it to stay like this forever because I love you daddy and I love you Mama Mimi."

"We love you two miracle girl," Roger said, "Don't worry…we'll promise we'll keep our little family together…for your sake by all means."

"Yeah whatever your dad says Courtney," Mimi said as she put an arm around Courtney and Roger, "We'll…try to keep our promise."

_Spark Records…_

A few days later Roger was at Spark Records working trying to keep his mind off his recent martial conflicts at home with Mimi. He still had a picture of him, Mimi and Courtney during the weekend at Coney Island. He stared at the picture of it and looked at his daughter's picture closely and how happy she was with the two of them. It was then he was interrupted by his boss Grant entered his studio.

"Grant welcome back," Roger greeted, "When did you get back from Dallas?"

"About a week ago," Grant replied, "I've talked to Charlie and I've told him about you taking a leave of absence with the work we're doing for House of Blues until another promotional concert arrives. This way…it gives you time to pursue this." Grant handed Roger a large envelope to look at.

"And exactly what is in here?" Roger asked as he opened it and was shocked, "Oh my gosh…is this what I'm I don't think it is? Grant…is this really from Cardigan Records?"

"The west coast is calling your number," Grant replied, "Davis you are one lucky man. They're calling you out there…Cardigan Records. Apparently this here is a contract to join their record label…full time recording, and producing music with some of the up and coming artists with both companies. This marks a joint venture between our two record labels and Spark Records wants you to oversee our progress by working with Cardigan."

"Cardigan Records selected me…to go and work for them?" Roger smiled but yet worried, "Oh my God…this is what I've worked for all these years. They picked me…my God when do they want a reply?"

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity Davis," Grant replied, "You are lucky and fortunate that you're the first in 3 years for Cardigan Records to consider bringing any new recruits from the east coast to work with them in Santa Fe. This is ASAP they would want a reply in two weeks top to set up space for you to work. I know you got your new wife and your daughter to consider so just talk about this with them. I don't want to see you waste a good opportunity."

"They're giving me two weeks notice to reply?" Roger asked, "Is all of this just a joke?"

"To show my honesty of the matter here," Grant added handing Roger a letter as he left the room, "Whatever you are inquiring about is all in that letter. You can read it over…all I can advise to you as your boss is think about it. I know you worked hard for this for years since joining Spark Records, I believe it's about time the music world got to see the talents of Roger Davis. The deadline offer expires in two weeks…I suggest you read it over."

Roger sat for a little while processing everything that has happened and that he was offered the dream he wanted…to work with Cardigan Records in Santa Fe. He would finally be able to launch his music career and get out of Alphabet City and travel. It was his dream he work so hard to get…it was what really snapped him back to the future he originally pursued for him and Courtney. However, it was now different and that was the problem as he read the letter:

_Dear Mr. Roger Davis,_

_It is great pleasure that on behalf on Cardigan Records we wish to congratulate you with a job opportunity to work with us in our studios in Santa Fe. Out of hundreds of applicants we wish to inform you that yours has been accepted by our company and it will benefit us to have you help contribute to the future of both record labels. _

_Enclosed are legal contracts for you to apply on whether you will accept coming down to work with our team here in Santa Fe. In addition, we have also provided you with accommodation details and expenses paid for by the record label. Please be advised that this offer and contract acceptance will expire in two weeks time prior to this week to determine whether or not you will accept the new position here at Cardigan. We do hope that you would consider._

_With regards,_

_Phil Fowler- Cardigan Records_

_The Loft…_

"I got the job…what the hell am I suppose to do now?" Roger thought as he arrived home back to the loft, "Mimi? Courtney? Mark? Is anyone here?"

"Hey lower your voice down Courtney is taking a nap," Mark replied from his corner re-editing some footage, "What's going on?"

"Have you seen Mimi anywhere?" Roger asked Mark, "There's something I need to talk to her about…it's very important."

"I know I'm no marriage counselor but every time either one of you come home you always seem to have something important to talk about," Mark said, "Has it ever crossed your minds that you might being having second thoughts about this whole marriage thing?"

"And what is that suppose to mean?" Roger snapped, "I love Mimi and we're happy being married and Courtney is happy with having a stepmother now…so why wouldn't matter if you guys are questioning whether or not you think our marriage has been a mistake?"

"Well maybe the only reason I'm thinking as to now why you married Mimi was because of Courtney!" Mark suddenly answered, "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you got her to marry you was with the help of persuasion from Courtney…by giving your daughter the one thing she always wanted, a family. It was something you and her wanted after April died and was there any consideration as to what either you or Mimi wanted in the long run? Were you prepared of what you were going to give up for Courtney?"

"I don't want to hear this right now okay?" Roger objected as he was heading to the roof, "You are suppose to be my best friend Mark but sometimes I wonder…what makes you say what you're saying to me right now? If this might be some home truths I'm suppose to hear then I don't want to hear about it! I need to find Mimi because I feel that you're jealous."

"You two need to open your eyes because despite how much you love each other…sometimes love isn't always enough," Mark sighed, "A seven year old girl is what made you two marry each other despite not seeing the truth, but your dreams is what separates you. I wish you two can find a dream that maybe not what had in mind originally…because this made a huge mistake if what comes out soon will be hard to face."

Roger headed to the roof hoping to find Mimi but he was fortunate to find her with the accompany of Angel there. It seemed like the two were having a conversation of great importance so Roger just waited a few moments until he made his presence known.

"What are you going to do about the letter from Ms McRae?" Angel asked, "Have you talked to her about it?"

"I dropped by this afternoon at her studio and I talked to the reps at Avalon School of Dance in London to confirm what they said in the contents of the letter," Mimi sighed, "I…got approved for the job in London. I got two weeks to apply and give them an answer, but…in my heart something tells me to go, but then the other part tells me to stay here."

"Is that great news you were always waiting for something good to happen," Angel said, "It looks like you got you chance to make it big. You have talent Mimi and I don't want to you to regret anything or see that talent not go to waste."

"That's the problem…because it's been going to waste ever since," Mimi sighed, "I got in front of me the dream I remembered for the last couple of years of my life before I end up dead from a disease that is slowly killing one day at a time. It's like this dream came true at such a bad time when…"

"When what?" Angel asked.

"I finally may have realized the cost of what I did," Mimi replied, "To Roger…and then I realized why I married him and why he married me…it was the idea of giving Courtney this idealistic future as a family together when at the beginning none of us were prepared for nor what we truly had in mind."

"Oh Mimi you don't mean that do you?" Angel replied trying to comfort her, "You love Roger and Courtney. Those two love you with all their hearts and soul I'm sure they'll understand."

"I had this same conversation with Mark a little while ago and I just need to get out because I knew despite now much I deny the truth of my marriage, what always comes first is my dream," Mimi cried, "Sometimes I wonder…why things happen for a reason you can't explain and this…is something I don't understand. You don't understand…sometimes I feel like I married him because I loved him but it seems like love isn't enough to ensure a proper stable marriage." Hearing Mimi talk about their marriage rocked Roger to the core…as painful as it was to hear and to admit and maybe hate Mark, Roger listened in disbelief the truth.

"It was more like I felt like I married Roger out of sympathy and obligation to a motherless little girl who needs a female influence in your life. I wanted the future I idealistically dreamed about when we were at the model home…but in my heart I knew it would cost Roger his future, my future, and Courtney's. It feels like…I only married him because I wanted him to fulfill his wish of giving Courtney a new mother, even if it meant I gave up the job opportunity in London."

"It was like this marriage was more like a bargain chip to keep each other from walking out to put our dreams on hold and the worst part is…a little girl was also a key player in this entire decision making. Am I a bad person for forcing someone to live a life that don't have the heart to be apart of? "

"You can ask that same question Mimi and tell me this," Roger sighed as he came out, "I can hate Mark for admitting things I didn't want to hear, but he was right…inside the two of us knew that marriage would hit rock bottom and it just did."

"Roger please let me explain," Mimi begged as she tried to come close, "You heard?"

"Every word," Roger said in tears, "I wanted to wonder what made me marry you in the first place. We believed we married each other out of love and this is what we wanted…but we were wrong in fact, neither of us didn't picture this in our future. However, it was what I saw for Courtney, what we saw. I just stood here realizing that my little miracle girl, my daughter was a key player in us getting married, and we gambled our dreams and futures on the line just for a marriage we didn't think straight about."

"That's not true!" Mimi yelled, "Please don't deny that our marriage was a sham! I love you and I wanted to give Courtney the family she always wanted, the one you talked about giving your daughter and I thought we could have, even if it meant making a bit of sacrifices! "

"I don't know what to think here!" Roger yelled, "I just had to hear about that maybe marrying each other was the biggest regret of our lives! Our marriage is basically one based out of guilt to not derive a seven year old girl of a family, instead it always ends the same!"

"What is that suppose to mean?" Mimi asked yelling in frustration, "Roger talk to me please I'm your wife!"

"I…need to get out of here for awhile and think!" Roger replied leaving the rooftop, "I don't want to say as your husband because frankly…you know what I need time."

"Roger! Roger come back!" Mimi started crying as Roger left, "What the hell just happened?"

"God damn what now?" Roger cried as he got back in the loft. He headed to the bedroom and he suddenly found Mimi's letter from Ms. McRae and read it:

_Dear Mrs. Mimi Marquez-Davis,_

_It is great pleasure that on behalf on The Avalon School of Dance we wish to congratulate you with a job opportunity to teach at our school this fall in London. Out of hundreds of applicants we wish to inform you that yours has been accepted with a full time teaching position and it will benefit us to contribute to the success of our students here._

_Enclosed are finalized information on whether or not you will accept this job opportunity. In addition, we have also provided you with accommodation details and expenses including airfare to travel down to London paid for on our behalfl. Please be advised that this offer and contract acceptance will expire in two weeks time prior to this week to determine whether or not you will accept the new position here at Cardigan. We do hope that you would consider._

_With regards,_

_Samantha Jackson-Director of Avalon School of Dance_

"What the hell have I done?" Roger sighed after finishing reading the letter, "She…was going to throw her future away and turn down London for a future she never wanted, one that she didn't imagine to see with me or Courtney? We're both right…and it hurts."

"Daddy why are you crying?" Courtney replied as she went to hug Roger, "It's okay daddy it will be alright I promise."

"Honey…I need to go somewhere for awhile," Roger sighed hugging his daughter, "I love you so much and there are some things you need to understand when you get older. Promise me you look after Mimi while I'm out okay. I need to think about some stuff right now."

"Daddy you're making me worried," Courtney sighed, "Where are you going?"

"Give this to Mimi okay?" Roger replied as he handed the letters to Courtney, "Promise daddy you will give this to her okay?"

"Please come home daddy please," Courtney begged as her dad left, "Don't go away daddy!"

"Roger!" Mimi came in a few moments after Roger left, "Courtney, sweetie what's wrong?"

"Daddy took off and said he needed to think," Courtney sighed as she gave Mimi the letters, "I promised I give this to you mama."

"It's from Cardigan Records…oh my god," Mimi replied giving Courtney a hug, "Makes you realize in the end…we both got dreams to remember. Where is he? C'mon Courtney we'll hang out at Uncle Collins and Aunt Angel's place and we'll try to find your dad."

"You guys promised everything will be alright," Courtney sighed, "Why are you crying?"

"Trust me…you're too young to understand sweetie," Mimi sighed as the two headed downstairs, "He's not the only one who has a lot of thinking to do…so do I."

_Meanwhile…_

Roger was driving in his car as he suddenly heard his phone go off and answered it. He was struggling trying to deal with everything that happened today as he replied on the other end.

"Hey Hannah it's me," Roger replied sighing, "I need you to do me a favor…it's very important. I need…information on the contract I got today, and I need some details on available flights coming up in two weeks…one way flights."

**(Author's Notes: Okay sorry for not updating in the last little while but I'm leaving a bit of a cliffhanger here. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and please keep sending in those reviews! Take care for now!)**


	17. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

**Chapter 17: Should I Stay or Should I Go?**

Roger drove for hours wondering what went wrong in his marriage to Mimi. It was true that they made have rushed into this too fast without any thought or consideration, and it was a desperate act of love…to stop one another from walking out. However, that was the main concern of why their have been second doubts in each other's minds about their marriage…it was their way of them sacrificing the lives and dreams they pursued.

"_You don't understand…sometimes I feel like I married him because I loved him but it seems like love isn't enough to ensure a proper stable marriage." _Roger was reminded of what he overheard of Mimi's conversation with Angel on the rooftop.

"_It was more like I felt like I married Roger out of sympathy and obligation to a motherless little girl who needs a female influence in your life. I wanted the future I idealistically dreamed about when we were at the model home…but in my heart I knew it would cost Roger his future, my future, and Courtney's. It feels like…I only married him because I wanted him to fulfill his wish of giving Courtney a new mother, even if it meant I gave up the job opportunity in London."_

" _It was like this marriage was more like a bargain chip to keep each other from walking out to put our dreams on hold and the worst part is…a little girl was also a key player in this entire decision making. Am I a bad person for forcing someone to live a life that don't have the heart to be apart of? "_

"I got what I wanted…a new mother for Courtney at the cost of Mimi's future," Roger thought to himself, "I made her marry into a future she never had her eyes set upon, nor what I wasn't prepare for. I'm in love with her…but I can't make her give up her future just for me and Courtney. Oh God my little miracle girl, I used my daughter to help Mimi reconsider going to London. Love is something too complex and complicated to figure out but I have to make things right…even if you learn about the sacrifices of love. I wasn't the victim here…she was and now I know…this is not a future we both see in the long run."

_Angel and Collins' Apartment…_

"He hasn't called or been back in hours and it's killing me," Mimi sighed, "Guys I think this time I seriously blew it…Roger overheard us talking Angel and I'm afraid…he might have the impression of my feelings towards why I married him in the first place."

"C'mon Meems you got to relax," Angel replied trying to calm down Mimi, "Roger loves you and Courtney a lot and you two mean everything to him."

"You can say that again," Mimi said as Collins came in the kitchen, "How's Courtney doing?"

"She's asleep on the couch," Collins replied, "It's hard answering Courtney's questions as to why her parents are fighting. She feels like she did something wrong."

"That's what is tearing me apart," Mimi sighed, "I can't cope with dealing with Courtney because as much as I love that little girl…I feel guilty of what I did to her or what I will do to her in the long run. I used her into conning Roger into marrying me and into giving up going to Santa Fe to further his dream of becoming a music producer."

"What about you?" Angel asked, "Did you consider giving up going to London for a life of marriage? Did you feel in your heart you were prepared and you knew what you were doing?"

"I was…but also I wasn't," Mimi cried, "Part of me was ready to give that up for Roger but also part of me wanted to go and pursue my dream of going to London. That is the reason why…I didn't reply to the letter. I thought about going…but I don't know what I want now. I got about two weeks to reply and take the job opportunity or else it's gone forever. Ms. McRae said it's mandatory I reply at once and she enclosed a check for airfare and living accommodations. It feels like this is once in a lifetime opportunity…but what I do want to go because it's a dream I got to remember fulfilling."

"Is that what you really see in your future Mimi?" Collins asked, "Maybe…you might have noticed you two began to reconsider the lives you wanted to pursue when you married."

"What I want to do right now is find Roger," Mimi replied, "I need to find him and I need to work things out with him. Like you guys always say forget regret right?"

"Mama are you going to find daddy?" Courtney replied as she suddenly woke up, "Please…tell daddy to come home. I don't like him away from us, and I don't like when you two fight."

"Yes I'm going to find daddy," Mimi smiled, "I promise everything will be fine."

"Daddy was saying that he feels guilty for making you not go to London," Courtney suddenly answered, "Daddy found the letter you got about the job to London and he mentioned about promising to make things right."

"Wait a minute…when did this happen?" Mimi sighed, "Roger read my letter? That's why…he took off."

"Mama, will that mean we have to move away?" Courtney asked, "I don't want to leave New York and I don't want you or daddy to leave."

"I don't know what to do sweetie…except for now we'll stay with Uncle Collins and Aunt Angel for the night okay?" Mimi replied, "I don't think it would be wise for us to be in the same place with Uncle Mark alright sweetie? Don't worry I'll try to hold everything together okay?"

_Life Cafe…_

A few days passed and there had been no word from Roger. Mimi was finding it difficult trying to cope on holding things together for Courtney as she was trying to debate whether or not she should go to London and take the job. Mimi was having lunch with Joanne and Maureen after she dropped Courtney off at the community center for a day camp happening. Mark entered after not talking to Mimi for the last few days since Roger disappeared.

"Hey Meems…huh listen I know you're angry at me and I'm sorry for all the stuff I said to Roger and you about your marriage," Mark said coming up to the girls, "How are you guys doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing? My husband decides to go MIA on my ass and leave me to take care of his daughter," Mimi sighed, "I'm stuck in a rut to decide whether or not I want to go to London and take that job at Avalon and I don't know if Roger would decide to head off to Santa Fe. Apart of me hates you for blabbing out the truth Mark…but as much we both didn't want to hear it…the truth comes out eventually. We married each other to investing a into a future we didn't consider. How can I tell my stepdaughter that she was the reason why Roger and I married in the first place? We put her interests first before ours and this life we're living is the one Courtney wanted…not us."

"Mimi I didn't mean to hurt you and Roger that bad," Mark replied, "I just…I just didn't want to see you guys regret missing out on the opportunities and dreams you wanted. Hey, if it isn't any consolation I haven't heard from Roger in the last few days."

"No one hasn't heard from Roger not even his work," Maureen added.

"I just wish I knew where he was and how he is doing," Mimi replied, "It's driving me crazy and Courtney is missing her dad like crazy."

"Don't worry sweetie we're here for you," Joanne said giving her a hug, "So how's Courtney getting home later?"

"Well she's at the community center because it's Kids Day there and she wanted to go. Benny said that he'll pick up her and Marcus later on and drop Courtney off."

"Hey I promise you we'll find Roger and he'll come home to you and Courtney," Mark said, "I know that you two are all that matters to him."

"What if…he chooses to go to Santa Fe?" Mimi thought, "Will I still matter to him?"

_Community Center…_

Meanwhile at the community center, it was Kids Day and the staff was hosting a children's day camp filled with fun and activities. Courtney was there with Marcus as the two were eating snacks by the playground while waiting for Benny to pick them up.

"What time did your daddy say he will pick us up Marcus?" Courtney asked.

"He said at around 4pm," Marcus replied, "Mommy is at home with the new baby and it's weird being a big brother. My new baby sister needs me to protect her daddy would say."

"I wish I had a baby brother or sister," Courtney said, "You're lucky that you have a new baby sister. What is her name again?"

"My sister's name is Mischa Sophie Coffin," Marcus replied, "I like being a big brother because mommy and daddy won't yell at each other too much. It scares me sometimes whenever my parents yell at each other and fight because of things. I go to my room and play with my toys whenever they do that or my grandpa picks me up. At least your daddy and new mommy don't yell at each other."

"My daddy disappeared a few days ago," Courtney sighed, "I don't know where he is and mama seems lonely without daddy around."

"Don't worry your daddy will come back," Marcus replied as he got off the jungle gym, "I want to get another box of apple juice. Do you want one Courtney?"

"Yeah I want one!" Courtney smiled, "Thank you Marcus." Courtney was heading towards the swings when her eyes widen and she smiled as Roger was standing by a tree watching her.

"Courtney! My little miracle girl!" Roger smiled as Courtney ran up to hug him, "Oh Courtney!"

"Daddy! Daddy where have you been?" Courtney replied hugging Roger, "I was so worried about you daddy! I missed you so much and you promised you wouldn't leave me or mama."

"I know and I'm so sorry for leaving you alone," Roger replied, "Have you been a good girl for Mimi while I was gone?"

"Yes I've been a good girl. Daddy were did you go?"

"I…was up at Westport for the last few days Courtney. Listen sweetie there's something I need to talk to you about…but first I want you to understand that whatever happens, remember that me and Mimi love you so much okay?"

"If you love Mama Mimi so much then why aren't you talking to her? She's worried about you and she's been sad since you left. Daddy when are you coming home? Are we still going to be a family again?"

"Oh my little miracle girl," Roger sighed giving Courtney a hug, "Can you promise to do daddy one more big girl favor? Don't tell mama that we've met today okay? I went by to the loft and I left Mimi a note so she'll know where to find me…promise me that you make sure Mimi finds the note and that she comes tonight okay?"

"Alright daddy but don't leave me please," Courtney begged, "Please don't leave me daddy."

"Don't worry sweetie I promise everything will be alright," Roger said as he spotted Benny's car, "Listen I have to go now…because I don't want Benny to know I was here okay? He'll probably tell mama okay? I want you to go home with Benny and Marcus and pretend that we didn't meet okay? Can you do that for daddy's sake? I love you my little miracle girl."

Roger gave Courtney one last hug before retreating to his hiding spot behind the trees as Courtney went to meet up with Marcus. The two kids spotted Benny's Range Rover and he drove away back to the loft. Courtney looked outside the window as Roger waved goodbye to his little girl and headed to his car back to Westport.

_The loft…_

After eating at the Life Café, Mimi and Mark came home while they were waiting on the arrival of Courtney. Mimi found a note place on the coffee table that was addressed to her and to her surprise it was from Roger. She opened up the note and began to read it:

_Dearest Mimi,_

_If you are reading this note I want to let you know that I am safe and I don't want to be worried about me. I know I've worried you and Courtney about my whereabouts but I needed time to figure out things. You two mean a lot to me in this world, but with the events that have occurred lately, we have a lot to question about where we see our future going. Don't think I am trying to say I don't love you…truly I do love you and for the first time in a long time, you taught me how to love again, but it came at a price. I know you want to know where I am so I'll be waiting for you to find me…just trust yourself to know where I'll be and then we'll talk. You know Mimi what we have to talk about and don't forget…I love you both._

_Love Always, Roger_

"It's from Roger," Mimi said to Mark, "He was here…I can tell from this note."

"And what did it say?" Mark asked, "Did he tell you where he is?"

"No…but I know where to start," Mimi replied, "Mark do you mind if I borrow your car and watch Courtney for awhile for me? I…need to see Roger."

"Of course I'll keep an eye on her," Mark said as Mimi left, "Mimi…tell Roger I'm truly sorry, to the both of you I know he loves you and I shouldn't have said those things to you two. I know truly he loves you and you love him…I just don't want you guys to regret doing something that will hurt both your hearts. Can you do that for me?"

"I will Mark…I'll tell Roger," Mimi said as she left the building.

"Mimi! Hey I brought Courtney home!" Benny replied as she passed him outside the building.

"Thanks Benny," Mimi said as she turned to Courtney, "Sweetie mama has to go out somewhere okay? Uncle Mark will look after you okay?"

"Are you going to bring daddy home?" Courtney asked, "Tell daddy to come home."

"We'll see Courtney, we'll see okay?" Mimi said as she drove off, "Wait for me Roger please?"

_Westport…_

Up at the model home in Westport, Roger brought his old radio and he began to play "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley. He was strumming the tune on his guitar and listening to the song it played. He was hiding out in Westport the last few days camping out there like he did back on Memorial Day weekend. He looked at the doorframe waiting and then he looked at the envelop next to him…all needed to do was wait.

"_I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music do you  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... _

_Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrough ya  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah..."_

"I knew…I find you Roger," a voice said as he looked and it was Mimi, "You were waiting for me to come weren't you?"

"I hoped you showed up but knew where to look did you?" Roger asked. "I knew you find me."

"Look about what happened…Roger please I don't want you to think I never loved you or that I married you just to make you gave up your dream. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in so long and being with you and being with Courtney has made me open up to things I never imagined."

"That's how I felt about you too Mimi…I truly did. But I didn't want to be the one that made you live a life you or I didn't see with one another. I see someone who is in love with my kid and in all those years I've never been happier than to have someone make her smile and look at life differently than you do. We saw a life for my daughter and we didn't think about what we truly wanted…like you said it was guilt and obligation that made us marry each other or maybe desperation. I made you give up London, I made you put your dreams of dancing on hold and the worst part is…I used a kid to help me achieve it."

"So where do we go from here then?" Mimi sighed, "I just want to know something Roger…did you really wanted to marry me out of love or you just married me so Courtney could be happy having the family she wanted?"

"I don't know it's too hard to think about it," Roger replied walking around, "You remember when we were up here back on Memorial Day weekend? I told you about the future I saw with my family one day back then…with April and Courtney, and then after April died I put that on hold and buried myself with the guilt of her death. Being back here reminds me of that dream of a happy family life Courtney and I could have forgetting all the struggles we've been through and maybe one day, finding myself all over again living."

"Roger don't think I'd didn't marry you out of obligation to Courtney," Mimi replied putting a hand on his shoulder, "I married you because I loved you and I still do but…"

"We both want something more than the lives we're living right now…a chance to remember the dreams we had…what we worked for all this time…" Roger pulled out the envelope and gave it to Mimi which contained a plane ticket to London, "Your dreams…don't give it up because you may never have it back. I know this is what you want and I won't stop you because I don't want you to regret it in the future…even if it takes you to London."

"Roger no I can't…I don't want to leave you behind in New York maybe other job opportunities will come up…we can make this work," Mimi started tearing up, "What about you and Courtney? What about us?"

"We did…have our fun but I know in your heart this is what you want and what I want is far different and it's on the other side…even if I have to move away from here to take it. The flight is one way and it departs next week…you still have time and I want you to go live out your dream for you and me. Don't worry about me and Courtney we'll be fine cause I'm leaving too and I'm coming back for Courtney soon."

"Leaving what do you mean you're leaving where are you going? Oh god Roger tell me you didn't accept…"

"I handed in a two weeks notice already and notified Cardigan Records I'll be down in Santa Fe by the end of next week," Roger said, "I know you can't lie to me that you don't want to go to London just like I can't lie to you about Santa Fe. We leave the same time next week just to be on the safe side and arrive there early."

"I guess yes…I can't lie just like you can't lie to me Roger. You wanted me to live out my dream and now…I want you to live out yours for the both of us. You worked for this all your life and I understand…I won't stand in the way. So that's settled then…we both leave by next week to pursue our dreams and along with that you take Courtney with you. Promise me one thing when you leave? Don't forget about us okay…because you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"No it's the other way around…you don't know what you mean to me and I'm not afraid to tell you that I loved you and through you I learned how to live and love again thanks to the two of you and I am grateful for that," Roger said as the two began to kiss, "I always wanted to do something ever since we got married and now knowing that this one will be a really long break for us…we never had a wedding night did we?"

"No we just had that dinner at Denny's that's all," Mimi slightly smiled as they embraced, "Is there something on your mind?"

"One night only…stay with me here?" Roger asked, "Just to live out what we could have imagined here in this house for one night…our future together just for today."

Mimi didn't reply except she leaned closer to Roger as the two began to kiss. Roger kissed her back as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. Mimi pressed her head against his chest as the two fell back on the floor as Mimi closed her eyes and let everything runs its course…for a night she wouldn't forget.

_One week later…_

"You promise to call me when you get in?" Mark asked as he helped load the last of Roger's stuff in the U-Haul, "Roger…you two don't have to do this."

"Mark…we already made up our minds and besides Mimi and I are leaving on good terms and this is a decision we both made," Roger replied, "Where's Courtney?"

"She's over there saying goodbye to Joanne and Maureen," Mark replied pointing to her.

"You promise that you would call me?" Courtney asked Joanne and Maureen.

"Oh sweetie you'll always be our favorite niece no matter what," Joanne smiled giving her a hug, "I know it's hard moving but we promise everything will be alright."

"Yeah and if you need us…we'll be on our way to Santa Fe in no time," Maureen replied, "You keep your dad in line for us okay?"

"I wish…we didn't have to move and mama wasn't leaving for London today," Courtney sighed as she walk towards Roger.

"When is Mimi coming out?" Roger asked as Collins and Angel brought the last of Mimi's luggage out.

"The taxi won't arrive for another twenty minutes," Mimi sighed as Roger shut the U-Haul and loaded his guitar into the car, "I guess…this is it then? I promise to call you when I get in."

"I'll do the same for you too," Roger sighed as the two kissed, "Courtney…c'mon sweetie don't be stubborn you have to say goodbye to Mimi."

"It's not fair!" Courtney yelled, "I don't want to go! I don't want mama Mimi to go to London! I don't want to move to Santa Fe you promised we be a family! You lied to me daddy you lied!"

"Listen Courtney it will be alright okay?" Mimi said hugging the little girl, "I know it's hard but you'll be okay because you got your daddy with you it's always you and him okay? If you ever need anything I will be there for you because…I love you more than anything. No matter what to me you'll always be my little girl okay?"

"You promise?" Courtney asked.

"I promise," Mimi replied, "You take care of your dad for me will you?"

"I will don't worry," Courtney replied as she got into the car, "I love you mama."

"Mimi listen…" Roger replied as the taxi showed up, "No matter what I'll always love you wherever you are…I'm so sorry."

"There's no need to apologize Roger I know," Mimi replied as the two kissed, "You already told and you proved it…I love you too but this is how things should be. We better be going on and don't turn back you hear me? Don't turn back and we won't have to see each other leave."

"_Baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew ya  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
But love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_There was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me do ya  
But remember when I moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah _

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah..."_

After the two exchange their final kiss, Roger promised not to turn back and see Mimi leave into the taxi. Angel and Collins loaded her luggage in the trunk of the taxi as Roger got into his car with Courtney and began driving off on the road to Santa Fe. The others watched as their two friends parted ways and Mimi was making her way to the airport in one direction while Roger and Courtney went the other. The two of them were crying and resisting not to turn around to see each other cry.

"_I just wish I didn't have to say…goodbye love,"_ Roger and Mimi thought to themselves.

**(Author's Notes: Sorry it's been awhile since I last updated but I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. The song featured in the chapter was Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" and I wanted to include this in the chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it and keep sending in those reviews. I'll update soon…)**


	18. Without You

**Chapter 18 Without You**

**(Author's Notes:**_ Okay so many of you guessed there has been over a three year gap since I last updated this story but a lot of stuff has been happening. I wasn't sure how I'm going to end this story but thanks to some inspiration and creative thinking I am now ready to resume work on this story. On a brighter note, I finally got to see RENT at the Canon Theater in Toronto on Jan 20th and this was the reason why I wanted to resume writing the story. I absolutely loved the show especially finally seeing Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp live with the Broadway Tour cast. Though it's sad that the tour will officially end on Feb 7 at least it was an honor to achieve one of my goals to see my favorite musical live on stage. To those out there who love RENT I suggest to all of you to see it before it ends. Anyways, for those who followed the story from the beginning again my apologies for the long delay and hope you still continue to read and send in reviews. Thanks!_**)**

_New York City..._

Six weeks passed since Roger, Mimi and Courtney all left New York City and the loft became quieter and lonely for Mark without their company. Actually, it's been six weeks since Mark and his friends witness probably what many of them thought was the end of the Davis family. Roger took Courtney with him to Santa Fe, New Mexico to pursue his dream of working with Cardigan Records while Mimi ended up taking the teaching job at the Avalon School of Dance in London, England. No one knew what the future will hold for Roger and Mimi's marriage with both of them on completely separate ends from each other but their departure left an impact on their friends back in New York. Mark was editing some footage for one of his latest documentaries and looked around the loft. They were still a few things that the three of them left in the loft that they couldn't take with them such as Courtney's piano, one of Roger's old Fender guitars, a shelf full of books that belonged to Mimi and a few other items. A minute later he heard the phone ring and answered it.

"Hey Mark it's Joanne I thought I drop by." Joanne replied as Mark tossed the key down to Joanne.

"Hey Joanne come right up I'm not busy or anything." A few moments later Joanne came up but Mark noticed she was accompanied by a little girl who looked roughly the same age as Courtney. "How's it going what brings you by?"

"Oh nothing well I had my day off at the office so I thought I check up to see how things have been for the last six weeks. Maureen's been busy with another upcoming protest and plus it was a perfect opportunity for me to deal with some personal stuff today."

"That's nice to hear." Mark said looking at the phone. "I know what you're thinking...if Roger or Mimi might give one of us a call. It sucks not having them around."

"Tell me about it...I know it's hard to be in this loft alone that's why we all come by just to see how you are doing Mark."

"I've been having all of you guys check up on me, especially Collins and Angel their always up here with me every night hanging so I don't get bored or lonely without Roger, Mimi and Courtney around. By the way Joanne...whose the kid with you? Usually you never bring anyone along to the loft with you besides Maureen is she related to you?"

"Sorry about that...Mark this is Hazel," Joanne introduced the little girl to Mark. "Hazel this a good friend of mine...Mark Cohen say hello."

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Cohen." Hazel said shaking his hand. "Oh cool you have a digital keyboard. Hey I have a harmonica maybe it'll be cool to play two at once. Is it okay if I can play on it?"

"I have no problem with that sure knock yourself out." Mark helped Hazel turn on the keyboard. "I guess Roger left some sheet music and piano books that he bought Courtney to help her learn how to play. Help yourself to play whatever you want."

"Thank you Mr. Cohen." Hazel smiled. "I appreciate it."

"Hey call me Mark...besides Mr. Cohen makes me feel old. She's a pretty cute kid kind of reminds me of someone."

"Yeah and even her birth certificate proves her namesake...Hazel Jefferson-Benet." When Joanne mentioned Hazel's last name Mark's reaction and expression simply told her that he was stunned. However, for Joanne at least she was okay with Mark's response compared to when Maureen found out the truth about Hazel awhile back. The two of them heard Hazel playing a jazzy rendition to "Georgia on My Mind" and the harmonica solo played by her that surprised both adults in the room. "Hey don't look surprise...on second thought that was the reaction I tend to get from my friends when they find out the truth about Hazel."

"Hazel Jefferson-Benet...is she really your daughter?" Mark asked surprised. "Why? How did this all happen? You never mentioned her to anyone until now? Does Maureen know about her?"

"Of course she does and apparently my daughter proves that like Maureen I too was involved with men at one point or another in my life. Hazel lives with her father and stepmother in Brooklyn and currently he has custody of her. I only get to see her about usually four times a month and on holidays we split time with her. Hazel's dad, aka my ex-husband was some guy named Peyton Benet I went to law school with a long time ago. I got pregnant with Hazel after a one night stand with Peyton during our last year of law school. There was this wild graduation party for us as the graduating class that year and I apparently experimented on one my friend's stash of crystal meth."

"Straight lace Joanne wow...just when I thought you were a hardcore lesbian this actually surprises me that not only you have a daughter, but you were once married and you at least experimented with crystal meth one time." Mark poured some coffee and gave it to her. "So what happened next?"

"Peyton helped me back to my dorm room that night and pretty much I was really out of it and one thing led to another although I was pretty high that night. The next morning I managed to settle down and six weeks later after graduation I found out I was pregnant and told Peyton about it. Peyton and I eloped and we were married for about a year until we mutually agreed to split as my sexual orientation began to shift and he had eyes for some other woman. We had a good thing going on but the only reason for the marriage was for Hazel's sake. I gave him custody of Hazel with the agreement for visitation rights every other second weekend of the month and holidays. I love my daughter but sometimes I feel like I wish I could be there for her everyday instead of being with her on the days I could see her...it's something I told Roger before."

"Roger also knows about Hazel being your daughter? When did this happen?" Curiosity got the best of Mark wondering why Joanne would share something personal with a person like Roger. "I guess he knew long before you told Maureen or anyone else."

"I told him after April died and he started using again after April's funeral occurred and everyone in Roger's family deserted him except us. Someone had to at least find a way to snap him out of his downward spiral trance. I remember we confronted Roger with that intervention we threatened to take Courtney away from him if he didn't clean up his act. I told him about what happened when Peyton and I split and how his family wanted him to completely lock me out of Hazel's life because of my lifestyle choices. For Peyton and Hazel's sake I kept my distance for years so his reputation wouldn't be ruined for getting dumped by a lesbian. I told Roger he's lucky to have something to live for and someone that looks up to him who he could be with everyday while I had to wait twice a month for a year to spend with my daughter. Out of 365 days of the year I only get to spend maybe less than half of the year with my daughter because her grandparents' on her dad's side don't feel I deserve to be part of my daughter's life. I asked Roger that question one night how he would feel if someone told you were only allowed to see your kid this many times a year because some despises the lifestyle you live?"

"You were the one that snapped him out of his trance when it came to the prospect of losing Courtney? I remember it was when he was going through the whole withdrawal period and there were times we were scared he'd relapsed. We did scare him that one night when you and Maureen took Courtney for a week while Collins, Angel and I made him go cold turkey to get all the smack out of his system. He went ballistic when his daughter was gone and we painted the picture of him if he didn't clean up then the one thing that needed him in his life would be gone. That was Roger at his low point but look at him now...it looks like there's life still left in him."

"I know Mark and that's why him and I bonded over the fact that people were judgmental of the choices we made in our lives that we didn't deserve to have our kids around. After the whole withdrawal phase he asked me one night what it felt like when I gave Hazel to Peyton after him and I split. I told him it hurt a lot because there were still people I knew who were judgmental about my life choices and I told him that his destructive behavior would put him in a situation like mine if he didn't change. I wonder if Roger and Mimi are doing okay right now. They're both fragile and in vulnerable states when they left but it's more likely those two need to figure out some things still."

"You're definitely right about that one." Mark replied as he looked at Hazel. "I got to say Joanne you're lucky to have a daughter like Hazel around. I just wish...Roger and Mimi were here back in New York because they're leaving really got the best of us."

_Santa Fe, New Mexico..._

Meanwhile in Santa Fe, Roger came home from another late day at the studio and found Courtney asleep on the couch. He paid the babysitter who turned out to be some sixteen year old girl in his building named Nora for watching his daughter. They didn't know much people since their move but luckily his neighbor Nora welcome them to the building. She offered to look after Courtney anytime if Roger needed to work and he was satisfied with at least knowing someone who could keep an eye on his daughter. Ever since Roger and Courtney arrived in Santa Fe about six weeks ago it was spending almost every waking day at Cardigan Records in the recording studio. The record company set up Roger with an apartment to live in with Courtney located in the downtown area. It wasn't a bad place to live in and it wasn't too far away from the record company. However, for the last six weeks Roger found the hours tiring spending almost the entire day in the studio and it was beginning to affect Courtney.

_"I'm finally here in Santa Fe living my dream...going for my one blaze of glory." _Roger thought. _"Why doesn't it seem like this is the blaze of glory I'm looking for? Why do I feel like my heart suddenly doesn't have the passion or the drive? What am I missing or why do I suddenly feel down?"_

"Daddy you're home...it's almost nine o'clock at night why are you home late?" Courtney asked waking up from the couch.

"I'm sorry sweetie but I got held up at the studio and daddy needed to work a bit late than later. I'm so sorry but I hope you were good for Nora tonight."

"Why wouldn't I be? Besides she's a nice lady and she's fun to play with. I see my babysitter more than I see you every night." Courtney started pouting and he could tell that she was upset. "You tell me every night that you have to work late for me but you promised we spend time together when we moved! You're not around to play with me much or tuck me into bed because you're always working!"

"Baby you have to understand that this is for us...remember our one blaze of glory right? I know that I've been working a lot ever since we moved and you feel that I haven't spent enough time with you, my little miracle girl. I know we're hundreds of miles away from everyone we love and care about and you miss everyone. It's okay to feel homesick sometimes...are you feeling homesick that you miss everyone back in New York?"

"I really miss New York and I miss the loft." Courtney sighed looking out the window. "Uncle Mark is still probably up filming stuff again with his video camera. Aunt Maureen probably will show me one of her new acting shows to put on and maybe ask Uncle Collins and Aunt Angel what they think. Uncle Benny will still ask Uncle Mark about the rent while Aunt Joanne is probably talking about helping others in our neighborhood. Daddy...what do you think mama Mimi is doing right now in London? Do you think she's alright? I wonder if it's cold in London because she's all the way across the ocean. I really miss her a lot it doesn't feel the same without her around. Do you miss mama Mimi?"

Suddenly the thought of Mimi popped into Roger's mind and it was something that tugged on his heartstrings. In the last six weeks him and his daughter have been in Santa Fe he only talked to Mimi once to tell them that the arrived safely. Was there a day that has gone by that he ever thought about his wife? Courtney may only be seven years old but Roger knew he could never lie to his daughter or hide what he was feeling. In all honesty his thoughts were always on Mimi and he deeply felt alone without her around. The reason being was because Mimi was the one that brought the best out of him and became his saving salvation. He was able to find love once again but letting her go he wouldn't hold her back from achieving her dreams. Roger decided to pull a noble on her by sacrificing his heart's desires for her by telling her to go to London.

"Everyday...it doesn't feel the same without her doesn't it? Not a single day goes by where I miss Mimi and everywhere I go I see her." Roger said sitting on the couch with Courtney. "You know what babe I think Mimi was probably the best thing that happened to us, our little family . I'm a whole different person because of her and before I met Mimi I was someone else who was really sad and very depressed because of what happened to your mommy all those years ago. When there were times no one wanted to be there for me except you and my closet friends she taught me to let go of the past. I spent years trying to heal, move on but sometimes my past would haunt me but she was always there somewhat as my saving grace. I know this is something you might not understand because this is adult stuff but I wanted to share with the next person I could confide in which is my little girl."

"Who was the person you used to tell your secrets to?"

"Someone who is across the Atlantic Ocean trying to find her one blaze of glory. Oh dammit suddenly I'm feeling homesick and I'm missing everyone...even your Uncle Mark and his camera. I'm thinking right at this moment Mimi is thinking about us too and so is everyone else back home. I thought coming here this was the dream we wanted, what I longed for, our one blaze of glory. It doesn't feel right without sharing it with the people who matter and love you."

"Do you really love mama Mimi daddy?" Courtney asked. "If you loved her than you would have asked her to come with us."

"But it wouldn't seem right to hold back someone from pursuing their dreams. Mimi's dream is to become a great dancer and deserves a chance at that although it meant giving up my marriage to her. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the mother you wanted and if I could I do anything to make it up to you. Tell me what you want daddy to do sweetie?"

"I want to go back to New York where everybody is. I don't like it here in Santa Fe it's not what I thought it would be because I'm not happy."

"It doesn't work that way baby we can't just pack up again and move back to New York. We came here for a reason and we have to live with the decision we made." Roger sighed. "Listen we have to move on and daddy and Mimi are where they should be."

"You're wrong and you broke your promise that we always be a family! Where's our family daddy?" Courtney suddenly yelled. "They're not here because there back home where we should be! Mimi should be with us to but you sent her away to London! You lied to me that this will be good for us! I hate it here! I want to go back to New York! We shouldn't be here! Why can't we go back to New York? Why can't Mimi come back?"

"Because you can't get always get what you want Courtney!" Roger suddenly yelled back at his daughter shocking her. "That's why Mimi only married me because of I made her by using you to do so!"

"You're...wrong that's not true." Courtney stepped back before heading to her bedroom slamming the door. "Daddy what do you mean by that? I want to know!"

"Oh god listen sweetie I'm sorry...I didn't mean...I mean listen baby..." Roger couldn't stop Courtney from going to her bedroom but unfortunately she locked the door and started crying. "Courtney! Courtney! Open the door baby come on! Courtney!"

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you! I wish mama Mimi was here! I wish Uncle Mark was here! I wish everybody was here! We shouldn't have never come here!" Courtney yelled from her bedroom. "I hate we moved here! I hate you for not being home! Being here makes me sad daddy and it will make you sad too! This is the worst thing you ever did and I hate you for it! I hate you!"

Roger just kicked the couch out of frustration and slump down on the couch again thinking. He looked at the picture of him, Courtney and Mimi at Coney Island. It was just a few months ago but it seemed like a lifetime ago he was happy. _"I should tell you, I should tell you...never to go to London."_ It was the thought that ran in his mind when he stared at Mimi in the picture. _"You made me smile, made me feel like living again and helped me with Courtney. I should tell you, I should tell you...without you I'm lost once again."_ He went to the phone and dialed a phone number that he desperately wanted to dial. A few moments later he ended connecting to the operator and the call was going through.

_London, England..._

Meanwhile, Mimi found herself getting up again in the middle of the night rushing to the bathroom once again throwing up. Six weeks passed since she arrived in London and right away she found herself being thrown into work. Unfortunately, the pressures of her new job were beginning to take both a physical and mental toll on her. Mimi found herself still awake during the night thinking about everyone back in New York, and most importantly Roger. She thought this was something she wanted and this was her dream and she was finally living it out. Mimi headed to the bathroom feeling nauseated once again throwing up what she ate for dinner. This was the last thing she couldn't think about and she spotted the paperbag purchase from the drug store she got earlier but didn't bother looking at it. She spotted the last two purchases in the trash can but didn't want to think about the possibilities. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the phone ring wondering who could be calling her at this hour of the night.

"Hello?" Mimi softly replied.

"Hey Meems...it's Roger." She swallowed her throat feeling a lump in it for a moment hearing his voice on the other line. Mimi didn't notice herself tearing up but it was the first time in six weeks and it was something she longed to hear. "Mimi?"

"Hi Roger I'm surprise...you're still awake."

"I know just couldn't sleep. I'm guessing this is a bad time to call and I'm aware of the time difference."

"It's no problem...I've just been having problems sleeping at night." Mimi replied. "Probably still not used to the time difference that's all."

"How are you doing?" Roger suddenly asked. "I mean...how's London?"

"London's going great though it rains a lot here during this time of the year but it's good." Mimi only told half the truth and didn't want to tell Roger that something wasn't right. "The new job is pretty demanding and requires me to be in good shape. How are things down in Santa Fe?"

"I can't complain I'm finding my one blaze of glory, living out my dream." Something in Roger's voice express some sort of regret and distance that Mimi sense from where she is right now. "I'm glad...you're doing good in London."

"Same to you Roger and technically we're still married legally. How's Courtney doing?"She heard Roger mumble on the other end. _"Oh dammit please don't bring that up." _Mimi knew something was up. "Roger? What's the matter? Hey just because I'm across the Atlantic it doesn't mean I can sense something is wrong. I'm still your wife so you can tell me what's up."

"I had a fallout with Courtney and literally she's back to resenting me." Roger sighed. "Ever since we moved to Santa Fe the job at Cardigan Records has been keeping me from spending time with my little miracle girl. I promised her we be a family and by moving to Santa Fe things will get better from here on out. To make the long story short she hates it here, she wants to go back to New York and she really misses you a lot. We haven't called the others back home much since we got settled in."

"Give her some time to cope with the move Roger." Mimi answered. "You know what it's like for kids when they move to a new city they feel scared and nervous. You have to be there for Courtney because she needs her father. I know it's hard being on your own with your daughter in a new city without any help but you two are where you want to be as father and daughter. You guys are living out your dream together."

"My daughter told me moving to Santa Fe was the worst thing I ever did and she hates me for it. She threw a tantrum and locked herself in her room yelling at me. She told me I'm going to be unhappy being here but this is my dream. She wants to go back to New York but then I told her you can't always get what you want...it was something I used to hear from April sometimes. I don't know why she used to say that but then I shouted that to my daughter and she got upset. Suddenly we're not seeing eye to eye and things are beginning to go downhill again with my daughter. I feel that if I stay here...then I'm going to mess things up with Courtney and I got no one to help me. "

"Do you think going to Santa Fe was the best thing for both of you Roger? Maybe your daughter is trying to make you see something you're not realizing. Perhaps when you told her you can't always get what you want maybe is applying to someone else instead. However you're forgetting the other half of that phrase as the so called philosopher Jagger once said...that if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. Maybe April had her reasons to say that to you while she was around it's something you should consider. Sometimes you come to realize in your life that the things we originally plan and the dreams we wanted from before change because it happens. Instead of pursuing the dreams we hoped for, probably we might have gained something different that maybe for the better. You're looking for one blaze of glory in Santa Fe but what about the one blaze of glory you have right now? What about the one blaze of glory that you didn't know you had already?"

"Santa Fe wasn't what I expected it to be...and this job I thought was the best thing that happened to me. I talked about what it would be like to move to Santa Fe work with some of the best names on the west coast but I haven't considered how it effected Courtney. I dragged her halfway across the country away from the people she loves, her friends just so I can get a shot at fulfilling my dream. Maybe I lied to myself about why I moved...but like they always say everybody lies. My mind tells me that this was for the best but my heart is torn and I feel this emptiness inside of me. No matter what I do I wonder if I can ever escape my pain and the shadows of my past. I did have everything I needed back in New York and my daughter is right...we were happy back home."

"What did you say?" Mimi asked quietly. "Roger?"

"I...I...I miss you." Roger finally said the words not realizing he teared up a bit. "I should have told you...actually I should tell you...never to have gone to London. God dammit I was too late to tell you and scared because I thought I was holding you back from what you wanted Mimi. If I gave you a way out of our marriage, out of our relationship then I did what I had to do. The best thing that ever happened to me, the thing that helped me heal from all the crap I dealt with for over six years was you. Without you...I feel like I'm a walking shadow all over again. I wanted you to be happy although it killed me inside to say goodbye and tell you to follow your dream for both our sakes. It hurt when I realized that maybe...I had a better that I found from the one I thought I wanted and sent it away on a plane to London."

"Why are you tell me this now? If I heard you say that to me six weeks ago then I should have told you...actually I should tell you...don't go to Santa Fe." Mimi was starting to tear up on her end of the phone and hearing Roger finally confess what she was feeling the last six weeks just hurt her too much. How did it come to this? It was the thought that was running through her mind and talking to him after all this time brought the feelings they tried to hide from each other. "Did you think this was what I wanted? If I knew this is what you felt that you actually felt the same way I did six weeks ago then I would have asked the taxi driver to turn back to that loft, but I told you not to look back. Roger I wanted to marry you because I love you and I wasn't in it just for Courtney's sake. We were happy and what we had was real...there's no denying that and the life we had in New York was what made us happy. You told me to go...I went and it's not the same being in a nice foreign city like London without sharing the experience with the person you're in love with. So thank you...for making me say that...I miss you too."

"I'm sorry...for everything and if I fought for us then we wouldn't be on different spectrum of the world. Being with you and Courtney together living in the loft felt like that old feeling I had before came back and I felt alive for once. I thought I lost that feeling after April died but the day I met you I found a different dream, a different one glaze of glory. I lost one person I gave my heart to six years ago...tell me if there is still a chance for us. I can't...I can't lose another person I love."

"I wish it was that simple to just tell you...but we made our choices," Mimi sighed. "It hurt not to get out of that cab and shout to you not to leave New York, not to go to Santa Fe and that I found a better dream than the one I wanted. I don't know what's going to happen to us and I'm feeling the same thing halfway across the Atlantic that I can't lose you. However...whatever we decide in the end somehow we got to move on. It sucks feeling this way...and I go to sleep every night thinking about you. I need time...to figure out things, we need time."

"And I'll give that to you..." Roger answered as he noticed he was running out of minutes on his call. "I'll wait...I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes I'll wait for you. I should tell you...I love you."

"I should tell you...I love you too." Mimi slightly smiled on her end. "I...got to go it's late on my end here. You'll be fine Roger, both you and Courtney take me on my word."

"I always do and she misses you a lot." Roger said hanging up the phone. "Have a good night Mimi...I promise I'll be fine for our sakes."

The two of them soon hangup after speaking to one another. Mimi knew it was already late in the night but she couldn't sleep much these past six weeks since she arrived in London. It came to the conclusion that both of them regretted following the dreams that they originally wanted and as time passed they found a different dream with each other. _"How did we get here?" Mimi thought. "How the hell did things just end up this way?"_ Everything was a mess to her and her eyes kept on staring at the paperbag in her bathroom and she knew if she looked inside the bag she figured things would be complicated. However, when Mimi looked into the paperbag she pulled out the stick and closed her eyes knowing why suddenly everything changed.


	19. Seven Day Mile

**Chapter 19: Seven Day Mile**

_(Author's Notes: Okay so some people might be confused on how the format of this chapter will work out. Everything that happens within this chapter occurs during a seven day period with the beginning of the chapter starting on the last day of the week. During the chapter it will shift back to the beginning of the week and it will be indicated when each event or subplot occurred leading up to the last day of the week with Roger in Santa Fe. I know it may sound complicated but I hope you are all still following this story. The song featured in this chapter is The Frames "Seven Day Mile" which was played during the season 6 premiere of House at the end of the episode. I thought it was worth using as the inspiration in this chapter. I hope you can still keep the reviews coming.) _

_Santa Fe, New Mexico..._

Roger spent another afternoon again at Cardigan Records working on a new song he wrote and some of the representatives from the record company wanted a preview from him. However, for Roger it meant he found himself spending another weekend at work which didn't suit well with Courtney again. A single father with his seven year old daughter alone in Santa Fe without knowing anybody in a new city was his life and he had no choice but to take Courtney with him to work. Boy he wished he was back home in New York and if he had any problems with Courtney he knew Mark and the others will be on board to lend him a hand, especially Mimi. The telephone conversation with Mimi seven days back triggered something inside of Roger and he knew that something was about to give out/ Everything leading up to this moment was what inspired him to write this song he was to present to the reps of Cardigan records. It took seven days and for Roger he knew that after this song was done, a lot was going to change before the end of the day.

"Thank you for meeting with us on such a short notice," one of the reps of the Cardigan replied. "It's a pleasure finally having one of Spark Record's top songwriters and musicians."

"Yeah the pleasure is all mine Mr. Fowler," Roger said looking at Courtney. "My apologies but if you don't mind I had to bring my seven year old daughter with me here to the studio today. I couldn't find a babysitter for her today."

"Usually we don't have children roaming the record company but I see that your priorities as a father must always come first." Mr. Fowler said. "If you want I can get one of the staff members to keep an eye on her while you do your recording session."

"I rather have her in the studio area with me so I can keep an eye on her. Courtney doesn't take too kindly on being alone and it wouldn't be fair to be ignoring my daughter. Please you called me for a recording session and with all due to respect I like if you can honor my request to let my daughter stay."

"Well it's your time and she can stay. We'll give you a few moments to prepare your band and whenever you're ready we'll start recording." After Mr. Fowler left for a few moments with the other reps from Cardigan Roger was left alone with some of techs and the band in the recording studio. Courtney sat on the couch in the recording studio and Roger knew that things between the two of them have been a bit tense since the night he called Mimi.

"Daddy...I don't hate you," Courtney suddenly said. "I'm sorry I yelled at you before and screamed I hate you."

"I know baby girl you're mad and you have every right to be mad." Roger replied. "Daddy made some idiotic mistakes lately and it's making you sad and upset with me I know. I'm sorry I dragged you to work with me instead of promising to take you out today on my day off."

"You have to work I know and you like writing songs and playing music. It's what you do because it's your job...write songs for people to hear on the radio."

"Yeah but my job is not fun without knowing that my number one fan is happy. I like writing songs and making music and it's a job I love but if it will cost me free time away from you Courtney than it's nothing but just a job I do for money. I've been making promises I couldn't keep, I haven't been home often since we moved here and my priorities need to change or else I'm going to screw up one more relationship that matters to me."

"Don't stop writing music because of me." Courtney answered looking at her dad. "You shouldn't be sad because I don't want you to lose your job. I'm always your big fan daddy."

"I know and that's what counts. I love this job and I'm not going to quit." Roger said. "However...being here if I wanted to write my music I have to be somewhere that makes us happy. Where's the fun of a job if you can't have fun and share it with the people that truly matter. Thanks for making me realize some things out that I need to think about."

"You're welcome you'll be fine," Courtney smiled. "Go knock them dead first daddy."

"That's a guarantee promise I will." Roger ended up handing lyrics to his new song to Courtney. "Here take this and if those people in fancy suits don't like my song at least I know I got one fan who appreciates my music okay? I love you my little miracle girl." entered the recording booth once Mr. Fowler returned with the other reps for Cardigan. Once everyone was ready, Roger gave his introduction about the song and then began to play it.

_Your will changes everyday  
It's a choice you got to make  
I can't help you if you want to  
Down here nothing gets a chance  
It's a threat that's real enough  
We can burn this bridge or stay here_

_It's a breeze everlasting like time  
Making so sure that  
I can return just to see it from your side again_

_Always never seems to work  
It's a word you never learned  
I don't really see a way clear  
__It's a sea ever churning in tides  
In the sureness of time  
And our words will repeat now forever again_

_Well this might take a while to figure out  
So don't you rush it  
And hold your head up high right through the doubt  
'Cause it's just a matter of time  
You've been running so fast  
It's the seven day mile  
Has you torn in-between here and running away_

"Alright Mr. Davis you can stop there," one of the producers said. "We got most of the track down." Roger came out of the recording booth and the band took a break while he met with Mr. Fowler and the reps from the record company in regards to the song. Courtney looked on watching her dad and the fancy guys in suits talk.

"So what do you think Mr. Fowler?" Roger asked. "I worked on this a few days ago so I figured if you wanted me to preview a song that the company wants to produce I thought this would be the one."

"We've seen and heard your work from Grant at Spark Records and I got to say I'm impressed." Mr. Fowler complemented. "It sounds different, and the tone of the song is something unique. I like the string arrangement you incorporated in your song. It adds a feeel to the song that makes people relate to it."

"Trust me when you say that people can relate to this song Mr. Fowler that's why I wrote it. Some people can say that the biggest decisions and the choices you make usually take awhile to figure out. However, it takes going through a seven day mile to figure out what you need to do. Trust me I've been through it many times finding myself down this road and it's a road like me and everyone else come upon."

"Very interesting analogy of your song Roger and I understand why you're doing what you need to do." Mr. Fowler said as he left the recording studio with the other reps. "We'll resume recording the rest of the track in a little while while we deal with some business. We'll get back to you later on Roger keep up the good work."

"I liked it and you sounded it really good," Courtney replied. "Daddy what did that man mean by what he told you?"

"Let's say that it took daddy seven days to figure out some things that will be hard to explain to you but whatever happens at the end of the day promise me you trust me okay? I'm not going to lie to you but I think this is about the biggest gamble I'm about to take which will cost me my career. A lot of things will change after I finish up with this song at the end of today believe me."

"Why do you say that I don't understand."

"I know you don't but I had a reason to write this song baby girl." Roger took Courtney to the cafeteria to get something to eat and thought back to how the last seven days inspired him awaiting the outcome of what will happen to him at the end of today. "I will tell you that ever since Mimi called that night the last seven days has been one rollercoster ride. I could even imagine the impact of what we did will affect everyone back home. We may not be there but I know what the mood must have been like when those postcards came to the loft."

_New York City: Seven days earlier..._

Mark came home one afternoon after work and decided to plan a poker night with the gang since it was payday. In typical Bohemian style, they initiated a friendly game of poker and each of them were going to bet sums of their paychecks in the name of a good poker hand as Mark like to put it. As Mark was setting up and getting the loft cleaned up Benny arrived as he tossed down the key to his landlord and friend to let him inside the loft. He brought extra poker chips while Mark got the snacks ready.

"Thanks for letting me join in your game," Benny replied. "Have you heard anything from Collins and Angel?"

"The two of them are out of town for a trip," Mark added. "I think Collins mentioned something about Angel visiting her sister somewhere in New Jersey but Collins had a conference to attend somewhere out west."

"I see besides I need a place to lay low for the next few days to get out of visiting Allison's sister. There's something about her sister Lisa's family that irritates me and she's not a big fan of mine but Allison tried to convince me to come. There is no way I'm spending a few days staying at the sister-in-law's place. Allison's nephew Martin is a pain but Marcus gets along with him and my wife wants to show off Mischa to the family. I wonder how in the world I ended up related to them in the first place?"

"You married one of the Westport Grey's remember? Besides at least you can come back to hang out with us Bohemians in your old stomping grounds?" Mark joked as Benny set the poker chips down, "When you want to take a break from playing a yuppie husband to Muffy and the kids. So I take it the wifey has the kids with her?"

"Allison took the kids to visit her sister for a few days and I really am not a big fan of her sister so I lied and told her that I had to work on some stuff at Cyberarts." Benny said giving Mark his mail. "I take it you forgot to retrieve your mail from your box so I took the liberty using the spare key to get your mail."

"Thanks man." Mark looked through the bills and read a few of them and then he found a postcard from Santa Fe written by Courtney address to the loft. He read the postcard and sighed knowing that things weren't looking so great for her and he managed to get one from Roger too. "Postcards from Santa Fe. Majority of them are from Courtney and surprisingly I got my first postcard from Roger."

"What does it say? How are the two of them holding up?"

"Courtney's recent postcard says _"I hate Santa Fe and I hate daddy for making us move here. I want to go home and daddy is making me think he's dumb and I am sad." _Oh gosh the kid is at odds again with Roger and every single postcard she's been sending either says she wants to go home or we really misses us and Mimi everyday. Roger's relationship with Courtney is the last thing he hasn't destroyed but it's on the verge again. It's like he may go back to his old disgruntled self again now that Mimi is in London. Our friends are on different spectums of the world and now they're beginning to realize that maybe being with each other was the new dream they found instead. They brought the best out of each other Benny and as idiots in love thought for the sake of love they give up their relationship so each of them will live out their lifelong dreams. I know those two really didn't want to go but both of them runaway from the best thing they ever had."

"Trust me when I say when I thought they rushed into getting married unexpectedly I thought they were idiots. However, they were in love and something in Roger changed and it was a whole new him I saw the night he married Mimi. I don't think they married just because for the sole purpose of Courtney but they did it because they wanted each other. The Roger I saw that night at his wedding was the one who first married April and turned his life around for the better. It was like he was finally moving on and ready for another chance at love. What...does Roger's postcard say?"

"It says _"Finally talked to Mimi and my relationship with Courtney is about to go up in flames. Not my one blaze of glory I want and going down that path again." _Roger's realizing he's not coping too well because his dreams of Santa Fe weren't what he expected and his relationship with Courtney is about to suffer again, only this time it maybe permanent. I feel like this was my fault I broke them up because I thought if they stayed married then they'll be missing out on the opportunities they dreamed about. A few weeks before Roger and Mimi left I told them...that the only reason why they got married was because of Courtney and that was it. I told them they may love each other but their dreams will always separate them. What if...they found a different dream when they were together? Maybe by being separated they realized that their lives changed for something better despite all the baggage they have."

"And now they're finally realizing that maybe life for them was better here in New York instead of going to either Santa Fe or London to pursue their dreams," Maureen said walking into the loft with Joanne, "Sorry to intrude on your conversation but we overheard you two talking and let ourselves in. You got postcards from Courtney and Roger?"

"Pretty much with one from Courtney clearly stating that she hates Roger for moving to Santa Fe and one from Roger suddenly coming to the realization life was better with Mimi and is on the verge of going down that same path he went down after losing April," Mark said, "At times like this he really needs our help but also Roger has to figure out some stuff on his own."

"Maybe they need time to figure out things on their own," Joanne replied. "Roger and Mimi will eventually figure out what's important to them or else Roger will lose more than he could ever imagine."

"Do you think...they'll come back?" Maureen asked. "I mean if they're unhappy wherever they are it will give them reason to come back home to New York City."

"That's up to them all we can do is just sit back and watch," Mark added looking at the postcards. "The turbulent story of Roger Davis and Mimi Marquez. Two people with loads of baggage that goes with one another and throw into the mix a seven year old promiscuous little girl. It's hard not being there to help our friends out especially Roger after everything he's been through the last six years. Our family...our Bohemian family and that includes you too Benny is missing three key members that help keep us in line. It got hard being in this loft without hearing Roger bust out a riff of Musetta's Waltz, or Courtney's voice echoing in the room, or the smell of Mimi's cooking. I know they're missing us and all we got to do is maybe hope they'll find what they're looking for."

"They just need time that's all," Joanne said as they were setting up for their poker game, "It's just a matter of time but knowing Roger and Mimi they'll be fine and we got to be there for our family."

"Agree on you on that one Joanne," Benny added. "Mark they'll come around hopefully they will."

_Santa Fe, New Mexico: Five days earlier..._

Meanwhile, things were not going good between Roger and Courtney after their fight and the night Mimi called. Courtney still refused to talk to her father and luckily today Roger had a the day off to spend time with his daughter but it wasn't going well. Even Courtney's babysitter Nora noticed the change in her attitude and behavior towards Roger that she attempted to take a few days off from babysitting to give Roger and Courtney some quality father/daughter time. The mood in the apartment felt like that same mood when Roger and Mimi had their first falling out after their first date and it was the first time Courtney got a glimpse of her father's low point. His daughter didn't talk to him for two weeks after he exploded on his friends and also inquired about April. He almost came close to nearly losing his daughter because she was the last thing, the only reminder of what he had with April. If Mimi hadn't come into his life then things with his daughter would still be the same being disgruntled over April's death; not realizing the joys of raising a kid; or finding true love again.

"Courtney?" Roger knocked on her bedroom door, "Courtney? Sweetie can we talk for a minute? Come on baby girl you have to least talk to me please." He found Courtney writing another postcard again addressing it to Mark back home at the loft. He sent one out the night after Mimi called and it pained him to read Courtney's last postcard saying how much she hates him for moving to Santa Fe.

"Nora gave me my insulin before she left for the day," Courtney bluntly said without looking at him, "You don't have to give me my shot today."

"I know she told me. What are you writing there sweetie?"

"A postcard to Uncle Mark back in New York. I'm writing to ask him to tell Marcus happy birthday from me." Courtney continued to write her postcard as Roger attempted to keep making conversation with her.

"At least...we're talking you don't hate daddy that much right?" Roger asked, "Hey I even got the day off today to spend with you. Come on what do you say we spend some quality father/daughter time just the two of us?"

"The people in fancy suits will make you go to work like they always do. I can't spend time with you because you're too busy to spend time with me. I'm still mad at you because you're a big fat liar daddy!"

"I know what you wrote on your last postcard and you hate me okay I get that but it makes me upset to know that my own daughter hates me." Roger leaned against the doorframe trying to talk his daughter but her reponses still kept coming out with resentment and disgruntle towards him. "I moved you here against your will and we walked away from maybe the greatest thing that happened to us. I said things that hurt you badly and you spend your days here being unhappy because I was an idiot and made some stupid mistakes. The last thing I wanted was the things I felt before I met Mimi to rub off on you because that feeling of being sad and miserable is the worst thing ever. I can't do this and I know you're slowly begin to understand the grown up stuff I would talk about to Mimi, Mark, and everyone else and I'm sorry. What am I suppose to do? I pissed away one relationship and the other one is about to go down the drain."

"Be happy daddy..." Courtney simply answered, "Stop being sad all the time because if you're sad then we can't smile like we used to. I always like it when you're happy because it means bad things won't happen to you. It won't...make me hate you for being sad. Do something that makes you happy and I won't hate you." A few moments later, the two of them heard someone knocking on the door as Roger went to open it and was surprised by their guest when he opened the door...it was Collins.

"Wow three apartment doors later I finally managed to get the right residence," Collins teased as Roger and Courtney smiled, "I got the Davis family staring at me as if I'm a ghost are you going to let this philosophy professor in or what?"

"Oh my gosh Uncle Tom! You're here! You're really here!" Courtney ran out of her room and jump at Collins giving him a hug. "It's so great to see you!"

"It's great seeing you again Thomas what brings you by to Santa Fe?" Roger gave one of his closet friends a hug, "Where's Angel? I thought she would be with you."

"She went to New Jersey to visit some family, it personal stuff while I am here attending a conference here in Santa Fe. I thought it would be a treat to drop in and check up on how my little Bohemian girl and her daddy dearest are holding up. Mark got your postcards and stuff so I used the address as reference to look you guys up. So this is where you two been living for over the last six weeks it looks cozy and nice."

"Yeah this is has been home for awhile now Collins. Hey Courtney aren't you glad to see your Uncle Collins here?"

"It's nice to see you again and I really missed you a lot," Courtney smiled, "It's not the same being here with daddy without you guys. Are you going to stay with us?"

"I think...that will be a nice thing if you haven't found anywhere to stay while you're in town," Roger suggested as Collins revealed his luggage he had on him, "It would mean a lot to me and Courtney because it gets lonely without your friends around."

"Come on I'm not going to pass up an invitation to crash on one of my best friend's couch while I'm here." Collins noticed a bit of tension between father and daughter as Roger gave a brief tour of the apartment. It was a bit difficult to hide the conflict going on between him and Courtney after she went back to her bedroom leaving Roger and Collins alone in the living room. With a bottle of strolli Roger started explaining his experience in Santa Fe to one of his closet friends as Collins listened on. Roger told Collins about his talk with Mimi and the threat of not knowing where their marriage stood. The conclusion came as Roger explained that he made one of the idiotic decisions he regretted making and it impacted how things were with his daughter and with Mimi.

"So that's basically it," Roger said taking another hit of strolli, "My daughter hates me, my wife is halfway across the Atlantic and moving here was the worst thing possible. I thought Santa Fe and Cardigan Records was the dream I set out but now it's not what I thought it to be. Collins it's like deja vu all over and I'm finding myself down that path six years ago. What am I going to do? My heart tells me that I have to go back to New York to set things right, but what is going to happen with Cardigan if I walk away?"

"In times like this when your heart is torn between following your dreams and doing the right thing you ask yourself what is important," Collins said as he saw Roger's new song he was writing, "Wow you got something going on here. Very deep lyrics and inspirational I'm guessing ever since your talk with Mimi and the fallout with Courtney is what inspired you. Hey you're going to do fine and whatever you end up deciding before time is up don't worry...you'll have a friend to fallback on to help you. Roger you're a good man and always remember no day but today."

"Thanks Collins," Roger slowly smiled, "I think I got a hit here...one that will make a mark on Cardigan Records."

_London, England: Three days earlier..._

Meanwhile, Mimi came back from the doctors after getting the results of her test. At times like this she wished and prayed that Roger was here with her in London but she knew it wouldn't happen. Her conversation with Roger awhile back would have been the perfect opportunity to reveal her secret but what could she do? Mimi was devastated and she made a life changing decision after coming back from the doctors and headed to the Avalon School of Dance and handed in her two week resignation. After a much heated conversation and a bit of disappointment from those who got her the job in London, they agreed to accept Mimi's two weeks notice when she told them what happened. They understood why and Mimi left work for the rest of day to head home and think about her future after walking away from her dream job. The phone rang a little while later when Mimi was having dinner.

"Hello?" Mimi replied as the operator on the other end stated there was a collect call from the States. She accepted the charges and smiled when she heard the voice on the other line. "Hey Angel how's it going?"

"What's up chica how are things in the jolly old England?" Angel replied on the other end. "What's the weather like?"

"Usually grey skies but the air is clean and nice here. How are things back home?"

"Same old stuff with the exception that we found out that Joanne hid the fact she has a seven year old daughter named Hazel we all met a few days ago. Maureen knew about Joanne's daughter and we all learned that Jo was married before to the father of her daughter. That's one of the big gossips right now from the home front I'm actually in Princeton, New Jersey right now visiting my sister."

"The one in school at Princeton University?" Mimi asked. "That must be nice to have a sister whose studying to become a doctor."

"She's working to get into medical school and she's getting offers from either Mayo or Hopkins, two of the top medical schools in the country." Angel added, "How are you holding up Mimi?"

"I wish I could say things were great here but right now...I really need a friend to talk to right now."

"Well Mimi dear my ear is all yours to listen." Angel said, "Have you heard from Roger?"

"We talked about a lot of things in particular the future of our marriage, where things stand between us and the mistakes we made leaving New York City. Everything is so screwed up right now and I just wish I could have told him not to go to Santa Fe and I was willing to throw away a chance of going to London. But I couldn't do that to him and I couldn't hold him back from his dream and he gave me a way out by leaving town. Everyday since I've been here I go to sleep and wake up and all I could think about is Roger and wonder how is Courtney doing. Angel I managed to find a different dream instead of the one I originally wanted and the day I left New York it felt like something wasn't right. Roger thought if I stayed with him I was throwing away a good opportunity...but that already happened before I left."

"Oh Meems I'm really sorry I know that feeling. You know when the three of you left it felt like part of our little Bohemian family was missing. If you thought your leaving impacted the two of you alone it created a ripple effect and everyone of us thought about you guys everyday since you left. But we knew when you two realized what you truly wanted then eventually you'll decide what you're going to do and all of us back home will be waiting with open arms."

"It's not that easy to fix everything up. I said I threw away a good opportunity right before Roger convinced me to go to London...thanks to that night I found him in Westport him and I finally connected. In one day I managed to begin to feel the aftermath of something that was magical and memorable. You know how I said that I found a different dream instead...well I found myself suddenly left with nothing. Angel...six hours ago I handed in a two weeks notice resigning from my job at the Avalon School of Dance and I got no job, I'm alone in London without my friends, and those stupid sticks from the drug store were leaning towards something big that just changed my life unexpectedly. After the visit from the doctor today...it just sealed the deal and why suddenly everything changed in one day."

"What visit from what doctor?" Angel asked confused. "Did something happen Mimi? Come on you can tell me?"

"I don't know what my next move is because I just threw away everything I wanted to work for and I broke my word to Roger to go after my dream," Mimi started crying on the phone, "How was I suppose to tell him that night he called me that I already was having second thoughts. How was I suppose to tell him that night I slept with him in Westport I didn't imagine six weeks later I ended throwing up, feeling nausea, dizzy and going to the drugstore buying test after test that came out positive. I don't know if I can go home. I don't know what is going to happen to me or what I'm going to do. Don't worry I'm not dying or anything and I did get my T-Cells recounted they're still in range and I'm clean still I have to be. But being dumped with this burden on my own will kill me emotionally."

"If it's something big chica you should come home we'll be there for you," Angel assured her, "Just how much of this burden you're talking about is...oh my god Mimi are you?"

"You're wondering why I keep saying things just changed all in one day and what made me suddenly reconsider my future." Mimi sighed looking at her test results. "It doesn't matter and it won't to Roger. It doesn't make a difference but it changes everything. All I know is I'm done with London for good because...that's right I'm pregnant."

_Santa Fe, New Mexico: Present day..._

After thinking back to the last seven days Roger knew that after today everything would be different. Everything was being planned out and after some hard thinking and advice from those who knew him too well he was just waiting to hear some word from Mr. Fowler and the other reps from Cardigan Records. He didn't want Courtney to stay around for the rest of the recording session and since Collins was still in town Roger had him pick up his daughter and promised to meet up with them later. Once he spotted Mr. Fowler and the rest of the reps from Cardigan come back into the recording studio Roger waited patiently for them to respond.

"Thanks for waiting on us Roger," Mr. Fowler replied, "Well we were on the phone with Spark Records talking to Grant in regards to your contract and about your request you're asking. Before you sign we want to make sure...is this what you want?"

"Phil with all due respect I appreciate everything you have done to guarantee me my dream job of working with Cardigan Records," Roger said, "This job was always something on my mind ever since I first got my start at Spark Records. Being here got me my big break and I want to thank you all for that. However, I realized that my dreams and priorities have changed within the years and as much as I want to stay in Santa Fe with Cardigan Records...I may do more harm than good especially to myself."

"You know that Cardigan Records has been setting up joint ventures with Spark Records for the last two years and according to your contract you are still technically employed under our record company," Phil Fowler continued, "However, after much debate and discussion with Grant and the other reps from Spark Records...we will give grant you your request to release you from your contract. Although this has suddenly come as a shock and a much heated discussion in regards to your priorities in this business Mr. Davis why suddenly the change?"

"I always thought that coming here was the one blaze of glory I was looking for. I don't want to walkaway from this business and I love music with a passion. I didn't realize that I already found my blaze of glory and I'm about to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. There is also one more person I considered in making this decision and that is my daughter. She and I have been through a lot together and by making her stay and unhappy somewhere where our hearts don't belong will do more damage than any good. If I stay in Santa Fe longer...I'm going to screw up raising my daughter and that is something I can't afford to fail at."

"Well I see from your responsibilities and priorities why you are reconsidering your contract with us. As we discussed we will release from your contract here at Cardigan Records. You Mr. Davis are one talented musician and we were at odds trying to come to a compromise in regards to your employment in this business. Grant and the reps from Spark Records will take you back under the condition...that you head up a newly official joint venture between Cardigan Records and Spark Records for the next three years. We have finalized a contract to produce and record a couple of songs and artists under both record companies and the venture will be headed by you up in New York under Spark Records. Although you no longer are a Cardigan Record employee as of today you will now be part of a new venture if this helps work with a compromise for you. Grant has the details of the contract back at Spark Records so if you need time to think about this then by all means let us know within a few weeks if you will officially come aboard on this project."

"I will consider it thank you very much," Roger smiled knowing that he was content with his decision, "I appreciate the offer and I will think about it with very discreet detail. I need to reconsider some options and priorities first before making another career changing decision. You know that I made a promise to least give Cardigan one song to leave a mark with as to why both record companies think I'm valuable. Going home...I think was about the first right choice I made today and I hope I am not causing any problems or controversy with my decision to resign from my employment at Cardigan Records. However, in regards to the offer laid out by both Spark and Cardigan for the venture I will highly consider it if I'm able to work out some other compromises in terms of the contract once I see it back in New York. However...first I have to finish off my last day by laying down the last portion of this track if that is okay?"

_I don't have a choice in this  
It's a road I've come upon  
You can join us if you want to  
Always never seems to work  
It's a word we never learned  
Time will be the judge of all here_

_This might take a while to figure out now  
So don't you rush it  
And hold you're head up high  
Right through the doubt now  
'Cause its just a matter of time  
You've been running so fast  
It's the seven day mile  
Has you torn in-between here and running away  
_

_It's the line you've been wanting  
It's your time  
It's the seven day mile  
Has you torn in-between here and never again  
Never again_

After spending the rest of his last day at Cardigan Record recording, Roger ended up leaving and taking the rest of his stuff from work and called up Collins and Courtney to meet up with him. He instructed Collins to drive his car up to downtown Santa Fe where Roger was waiting for him and Courtney to arrive and instructed Collins to pack a bag for Courtney. It was confusing for Courtney asking Collins why her father wanted her to pack a bag until when they met up with Roger they noticed he also had a bag on him to and all of his stuff from work in it.

"No wonder why you asked me to take Courtney for the rest of the day," Collins replied pulling up to the place where they met Roger, "I got to say man you sure are known for doing the outrageous and unpredictable. So you actually went through with it?"

"I sure did Collins and believe me when I said I didn't want Courtney to be there...when they found out I quit my job," Roger said, "But they gave me an opportunity to head up a new joint venture between Spark and Cardigan Records in New York City. So I may have lost one dream opportunity but I gained another opportunity that keeps me near the people that matter."

"So you left Cardigan Records and now with the two bags for you and your daughter packed you're also leaving Santa Fe?"

"A lot can change within seven days huh?"

"What's going on daddy?" Courtney asked confused, "Why did you ask Uncle Collins to pack some my stuff? Are we going on a trip?"

"Daddy quit his job today at Cardigan Records...because somehow he realized he had something better he gained," Roger smiled, "So since I am no longer working at Cardigan it means you and I...we're finished with Santa Fe. We're leaving Santa Fe and going home."

"Your dad's right there kiddo," Collins added. "Your dad quit his job and is done with Santa Fe. That means...you two are finally coming back home to New York."


	20. Karma Chameleon

**Chapter**** 20: Karma Chameleon**

_The Loft..._

Mark came home from work one autumn afternoon and learned that Collins arrived back from his trip and learned that Angel arrived back a few days earlier from New Jersey. He told Collins that everyone else was coming over to the loft later on and as Mark headed upstairs to the loft he found a few boxes outside his front door. He was puzzled as to why there are unknown boxes outside his loft for the second time this week and yelled to Collins to come upstairs to his place to figure it out. Collins knew that the boxes contained Roger and Courtney's stuff that their neighbor in Santa Fe packed up for them to ship back to the loft in New York. Unknown to Mark and the others none of them didn't know that Collins came back from Santa Fe with Roger and Courtney after being on the road for more than a week driving from Santa Fe to New York City. Roger and Courtney spent the night at Collins' place and luckily for Angel who was already asleep the previous night they arrived back home didn't notice their presence in the apartment as she left early in the morning.

"Two days in a row and I've been getting boxes upon boxes delivered to the loft," Mark replied as him and Collins carried the boxes inside, "I got to call the post office to come and pick up these boxes because apparently they keep sending them to me and I haven't even ordered anything."

"Where do you want to put all this stuff?" Collins asked trying not to sound suspicious.

"Just shove it all in Roger's old bedroom or Courtney's room. I figure out what to do with this stuff later. It looks like with the more boxes coming someone is trying to move in or something and I haven't even put out an ad for new roommates. So Collins tell me how your conference went?"

"Pretty good managed to find a bunch of students who found my paper on actual reality interesting. Did a bit of sightseeing, met some top philosophy professors that are well renowned in the country, and went to NYU to get an update on my teaching schedule and the next line of couch potato students to lecture. I did however...bring you guys a present back."

"All we knew was you were going to a conference somewhere out west but you didn't specify where," Mark added, "Exactly where did you go for the last two weeks?"

"My conference ended up...being in Santa Fe. Okay so difference did it make whether or not if you guys found out I went to Santa Fe for a conference because the all of you will ask me how Roger or Courtney is doing and if I visited them. So yes I did go to Santa Fe, yes I visited Roger and Courtney and yes I stayed with them while I was there. I figured I handle checking up on one of my best friends without the rest of you guys asking me as a request and the trip turned out to be memorable and interesting at the same time."

"So you saw Roger and Courtney are they okay? Collins we got postcards from Courtney saying her and Roger weren't on good terms since they moved and then Roger sends a postcard saying he talked to Mimi. Did he mention that to you when you saw him about talking to Mimi?"

"Of course and the state of where his marriage stands with her," Collins said, "Come on I didn't want to grill the man and tell him maybe he made an idiotic decision to move away. He did mention that it hurt him badly to say that Mimi was the best thing that happened to him and how meeting her changed his life. The boy is in love with her that's why he moved so she be able to live out her dream. Come on Mark it's depressing talking about how miserable Roger ended up being without the girl that captured his heart. Besides, on a brighter note I did bring you guys a souvenir from Santa Fe."

"Collins come on just what present could have possibly brought us back that would make us forget about the situation our friend and his daughter are in?" Mark asked irritated hearing the door open "Exactly...where is this present you are talking about?"

"It's right here in a the flesh." Mark turned around surprised to find Roger with Courtney coming into the loft and turned back to Collins smirking. So this was the present Collins brought back from Santa Fe Mark thought smiling seeing his best friend in the loft along with his niece. Roger just stared and Courtney let out a grin on her face as she ran towards Mark giving him a hug. "I figured that Collins could use some extra luggage to bring back with him from Santa Fe wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah and as of next week I start school again Uncle Mark," Courtney replied, "I'm going to be in the second grade back at St. Patrick's with Marcus again."

"We got back late last night and crashed at Collins' place," Roger added, "Angel didn't even notice we were there probably left early not to bother checking the bedroom to find us crashing on on the couch."

"I mean...what the heck are you doing back here? I mean..." Mark was confused as to why Roger and Courtney were back and it amused everyone in the room. "I'm guessing you had your return predetermined by sending your stuff off didn't you?"

"I had one of my neighbors in Santa Fe named Nora pack up the rest of our belongs and send them to New York City and the rest of it I arranged to put away in storage," Roger added as he suddenly started ranting. "I quit my dream job in one week because I realized in the end that Cardigan Records wasn't what I expected it to be. If I stayed in Santa Fe longer then I will end up screwing up raising my daughter because I moved her there against her will breaking another promise that we be happy. Within the approximate six weeks I lived working at my job at Cardigan Records I made the idiotic mistake of moving because I wanted my wife to live out her dream in London to teach dance professionally. Do you want to know what I learned in the approximate last six weeks I was in Santa Fe Mark? I...already had one blaze of glory that I didn't see in front of me and Mimi was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I'm back in New York with my kid, walked away from a new life in Santa Fe and hoping that it is not too late to get back my second chance at my new lease on life."

"You gave up Santa Fe...for both your daughter and Mimi?" Mark asked. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I gave up Santa Fe because it was what my heart told me to do...the right thing. It's hard to imagine what one week could do to you and I did all of this without thinking or over analyzing the situation. The day I resigned from Cardigan Records I ended up recording a song for them to produce. After recording was done I ended up meeting Collins and Courtney and told him to drive my car down near downtown Santa Fe and bring us one bag each with our stuff in it. We drove on the road back to New York City for nearly a week and felt...happy doing what I did making that choice. I know I'm going to be okay once I got back home."

"Eventually we figured out that you would come back home sooner or later Roger. I guess Collins did bring us a nice souvenir back from his trip."

"Hey I got you guys a two for one deal," Collins joked, "I got one musician that came along with a seven year old little girl as an added bonus and for the record they were tax free."

"What does tax free mean?" Courtney asked curiously, "Is that something very confusing I don't know about?"

"It's a grown up thing sweetie that neither me, Uncle Mark or Uncle Collins would never explain to you until you're at least eighteen years old," Roger sarcastically added.

"Does anyone else besides Collins and me know you two are back in town Roger?" Mark asked.

"I'm waiting to tell the others just invite Joanne, Maureen, Angel...and even Benny over later and tell them the oh so joyous news that the prodigal musician has returned home." Collins and Mark left the loft a little while later leaving Roger alone with Courtney to finish unpacking the rest of their stuff. Roger wanted to call Mimi so badly and tell him that he went back to New York and still had intentions of fixing and saving their marriage. He dialed the number to the dance studio in London asking to speak to Mimi until he got some surprising news.

"Excuse me I was wonder if I could speak to Mimi Marquez please?" Roger asked on the other end. Unfortunately for Courtney to notice her father's facial expression to change she could tell something was up. "What? I'm sorry did you say that she is no longer employed with Avalon School of Dance? Okay huh exactly when did she resign? A little over two weeks ago alright I understand. Is she still at the current address that is listed? You're not sure and you heard that she may no longer be in London anymore? But she already picked up her last pay cheque a few days ago? Alright thank you for the update."

"Daddy is something wrong?" Courtney asked. "Are you alright? Did you talk to mama Mimi?"

"Unfortunately Mimi is no longer working at the Avalon School of Dance. She ended up quitting her job like daddy did and they don't know if she is still in London." Roger sighed. "I hope she's alright and safe. Well what do you know Mimi ended up quitting her dream job too what a small world."

"Can I ask you a question daddy?" Courtney stopped unpacking her stuff as Roger sat down on the couch. "Is it okay to ask you?"

"We're pals you can ask me anything sweetie." Roger smiled.

"I know I was mad at you because you made us move to Santa Fe to work with the fancy suit people at Cardigan Records." Courtney replied sitting on Roger's lap, "Did you quit your job because of me? Or did you get fired because of me? I know you like to talk about finding one blaze of glory but I don't want you to be mad at me because I wanted to go home to New York. You always wanted to work at Cardigan Records and I think I was being greedy for not being happy that daddy is going to succeed. What's going to happen to you now that you have no job? Are you going to be okay daddy?"

"Courtney Josephine Davis what gave you that idea that things at Cardigan Records didn't work out because you were unhappy in Santa Fe? Listen to me you had nothing to do with me leaving Cardigan Records and most certainly you didn't get me fired from my job okay? How could you think I be mad at you for quitting my job? You have to understand that sometimes grownups make decisions that they feel is in their best interests and put the needs of the people that matter in their lives before their own. You could say that when daddy quit his job he had an epiphany."

"What's an epiphany?" Courtney asked.

"How do I put this in terms you'll understand easily." Roger continued. "Well an epiphany is when someone realizes what is right or wrong. You see when daddy thought that moving to Santa Fe was the right decision he went along with it thinking that this was the best thing for our family. However, when daddy realized that you were unhappy and we were better off in New York City with our life with Mimi then I realized that I made the wrong choice. So I needed to make the right choice by doing what was the problem and the best solution. Do you get what I'm trying to explain to you?"

"I think so...it's an adult thing about right and wrong." Courtney replied. "Are we going to be staying in New York City?"

"Don't worry we're here to stay kiddo." Roger smiled. "And I promise we're not going anywhere this time."

"Daddy do you think mama Mimi is here in New York?" Courtney asked with such innocence in her eyes. The whole Mimi situation always tugged on Roger's heartstrings and he wondered just where in the world his wife is. "I really miss her a lot."

"Me too sweet pea you're in the same vote as me," Roger sighed staring out the window. "Maybe she's here in New York or not but don't forget that Mimi loves you a lot and cares about you. We're going to be alright okay sweet pea and wherever Mimi is she's probably thinking about you because you're special to her. Hey what matters is we're home you and I and Mimi is happy wherever she is and living her dream. I want you to remember that okay?"

"Alright I'll remember," Courtney said as she continued to unpack. "If she cares about me then I guess she still loves you too daddy right?"

_Point and Plane Bookstore..._

Once word got out that Roger and Courtney were back in town for good it seemed that everything was right with Mark and the others. It's been a week since Collins returned from Santa Fe with Roger and Courtney in tow and everyone has made a stop to the loft to help them resettle in and unpack. During one afternoon while Roger went to Spark Records to get his old job back and dropping off Courtney at school Mark met up with Maureen at the Point and Plan Bookstore. Maureen called up Mark early in the morning while he was taking Courtney to school to ask him for his help on finding a few books on sewing and knitting. She planned to ask Joanne since she took the day off but unfortunately Joanne's ex-husband asked her to fill in for career day at Hazel's school and like that Joanne was spending the day in Brooklyn. Mark could tell judging by Maureen's explanation as to why she called him to come out it was he could tell there were still times where Maureen wasn't able to cope with the idea of Joanne being a mother to a daughter that she only has limited access to.

"Thanks for coming with me today Mark I appreciate it," Maureen said, "I know this is girl stuff that you really don't want to do and I would ask Joanne or Angel to come but neither one of them are available."

"Hey it's no problem besides we haven't hung out in awhile and going to Point and Plane Bookstore seems okay with me," Mark replied, "Besides knowing you simple things such as knitting and sewing isn't your fortune and probably you need to read up on how to properly do it. So Joanne is spending the day in Brooklyn at Hazel's school?"

"Yeah her ex-husband called asking Joanne to fill in at their daughter's school for career day because he had an emergency meeting for work he needed to go to," Maureen added as they walked into the store, "Peyton told her that she could spend the day with Hazel if she filled in for him and knowing Joanne she'll never pass up an opportunity to spend time with her daughter. Don't get me wrong I don't have anything against Hazel she is Joanne's daughter and my girlfriend deserves to be there for her. Still at times it's hard to cope with the fact that there will always be someone else before me in Joanne's life that she is committed to because that's what being a parent is about. Roger has Courtney and even our lapdog friend Benny has Marcus and Mischa to look out for."

"Come on Mo don't worry we'll get our chance one day to have kids to raise," Mark assured her as they were searching for some books, "So what if Roger, Joanne and Benny are now in the parent's club the thing that separates us from them is that we're still able to have a little fun in our lives without any restrictions. Having kids is a lot of responsibility and knowing Maureen Johnson and commitment it's still something you need to work on. My suggestion is enjoy the single life to the best of your ability."

"You know what...I think that's about the smartest thing you said to me today," Maureen smiled, "I got to say Mark you know how to give good advice. One day I'm sure you'll make a great father to your kids."

"Thanks Maureen I appreciate it," Mark added as they went up another aisle in the bookstore. "Here I think I found some books here on stitching and sewing that might help you."

While they continued to scan the shelves for more books they notice that it was a bit quiet in the bookstore and that there was about maybe four or five customers including themselves in the store. Mark and Maureen's ears got the best of them when they overheard what they assumed was a a couple discussing about doctor's appointments with her Obstetrician and the prenatal care. For some odd reason the voices that they were hearing over the stacks seemed very familiar as they continued to listen in.

"So when is your next appointment with your OB?" the man asked. "I know someone that works for health insurance that could help you so you won't have to pay too much for your appointments. Listen chica I got this so you don't have to worry."

"Look I feel really bad taking your money just so I could pay for my doctor's appointments and my prenatal vitamins and treatments." the woman replied. "The only reason why I took this job here at Point and Plane is for some source of income. Hey don't think that the only thing I know how to do in my life is dance and take off my clothes I also have some experience in retail sales. I worked a few jobs at the mall when I was a teen in the summer before moving to New York after high school. I need a steady job and a proper one if this baby will have a chance at a better life."

"You know I'm glad you're home to stay chica but everyone will find out sooner or later about your return," the man added. "You must feel bad lying to everybody that you're back and not to mention the fact that you shy into approximately nine weeks pregnant. You know our friends will help you in anyway possible because that's what family does for each other...we're there for one another, especially you."

"I know you're right why do you always make me see reason to do the right thing?" the woman asked.

"Excuse me I was wondering if you help us get a book on the top shelf on knitting in the second..." Maureen and Mark were stopped in their tracks when they spotted Angel talking to a familiar face, Mimi sporting a nametag signaling her employment at Point and Plane. "Angel? Oh my god...Mimi?"

"Wow this is a surprise," It was all Mark could say continuing to stare at Mimi and Angel. "Wow you're here? And obviously you decided that you are done with London. What a small world."

"It's great to see you two again," Mimi smiled giving both Maureen and Mark a hug. "And with the nametag you guess it...I work here. I got back a little shy over two weeks ago after I turned in my resignation letter to the Avalon School of Dance. Angel paid for my plane ticket back; and I've been staying with some friends from Life Support. I figured that London wasn't what it seemed to be and plus New York is my home and my family is here."

"You know we are glad you're back home we missed you sweetie," Maureen replied as she looked at Mark. Although they knew it was bad to eavesdrop on someone's conversation both of them were waiting for one another to ask Mimi what they overheard her and Angel talking about. "It's...good you're here to stay."

"Maureen Johnson I know that look on your face and all I'm going to ask is...just how much did you two overhear from the stacks?" Angel asked.

"Look Angel we didn't mean to overhear your conversation and we didn't even know that Mimi was in town or worked here," Mark explained, "It's a mistake to eavesdrop and we're sorry..."

"Mark it's alright it's better if I tell them before I have to give them a full book description about everything," Mimi said as she was putting some books away on the shelf. "You're right Angel they have a right to know why I came back and what's going on with me. So much you two overheard from the stacks and before you ask me questions I'll give you the simple answer of yes...I'm pregnant and that's why I came back to New York and I gave up my dream job in London. I'm working here because taking off my clothes doesn't constitute as a proper job for a soon-to-be mother and plus I realized that this is my home and things changed."

"So you're pregnant...and given the obvious the baby is Rogers' isn't it?" Mark asked. "The night in Westport before you guys left?"

"Yeah doctor confirmed it a few weeks back and I'm about nine weeks into my pregnancy and yes it happened in Westport," Mimi confirmed. "The night Roger called me since he left for Santa Fe six weeks after was when I found out after taking at least four different home pregnancy tests. I wanted to tell him but I wasn't sure until I went to the doctor and confirmed it...but I chickened out again telling him. I gave up my dream so I could trade it in to have Rogers' baby and I'm not going to let him give up his dream because of it. So you three are about the only people that know about this baby and that I'm here so if you hear from Roger promise me...you won't tell him until I figure out what I'm going to do next?"

"You're going to consider keeping this a secret from him?" Maureen asked shocked. "Meems you don't understand Roger is..."

"Okay we won't say anything to Roger about this." Mark interjected stopping Maureen from revealing Rogers' return to Mimi. "You know eventually he'll find out the thing you need to ask yourself is are you sure you want to keep this from him? I know in your heart you two still love each other and that maybe life together was the dream you had all along instead of all the other stuff you originally thought you wanted. Things change for the better and for the good Mimi think about it. Your heart tells you that you want Roger to be apart of this baby's life and you two have the chance for that family you wanted with him, you, Courtney and this baby. It's fate...and fate works in mysterious ways."

"I know I've heard that one before," Mimi said as she was heading back to work. "Look I got to do some inventory but I'm done at six o'clock. Do you guys want to go to Life Cafe for dinner later at around seven?"

"That sounds like a plan," Angel replied as the three of them left the store, "We'll talk to you later Mimi. We'll call the others later to see if they'll come. Have a good day at work." Once they were outside after waiting for Maureen to pay for her purchases the three of them said goodbye to Mimi and headed off for the rest of the day.

"I'm guessing Mimi doesn't know Roger and Courtney are back in town?" Maureen asked looking at Angel and Mark. "You two are up to something aren't you?"

"We're going to dinner later at the Life Cafe...all of us," Angel added. "If those two are under the assumption that they're still in their respective places they tried to send each other away to than they got another thing coming. Look our friends obviously are heading back on track to each other the problem is not one of them is making a full hearted effort to do so. You know how we all promised to stay out of their business...we're going to go back on our word and it's about time Roger and Mimi finally come face to face...even if we have to trick them. So we got Mimi to come out to the Life Cafe tonight all we got to do is get Roger to come out but don't mention about Mimi back in town. It will be our surprise to them."

"It sounds like a safe plan to bring our friends out to dinner and Roger will be easily convinced to come out to dinner," Mark replied looking up, "But why do I get the feeling that something is going to go wrong with this plan?"

_The Life Cafe..._

It was easy for Mark and Maureen to convince Roger to come out to dinner later that night at the Life Cafe but keeping their mouths shut about Mimi's return and her pregnancy ironically proved to be easy. They heard from Angel that Mimi is planning to meet up with them after she finishes work and Collins will also be there too after work. Maureen got word that Joanne was still in Brooklyn spending time with Hazel and filled her in about their plans for their friends. Benny was already at the Life Cafe when the three of them arrived and had a table already reserved. He told Roger that Allison was watching the kids today and going to drop off Courtney later on at the loft which Roger was okay with. Everyone knew about the plan to use this dinner as a means to reunite Roger and Mimi so they would find out about each others' return to New York. Collins and Angel arrived a few moments later and it looked like most of their friends were present except Joanne who had her reasons. Now all they needed was Mimi to show up and put their plan in motion.

"You seem tense man," Benny replied as Roger was looking at his watch. "Hey don't worry Courtney is fine Allison will have her home in awhile. She just wanted to catch up and play with Marcus."

"I can't believe you convinced me to let your wife drive my kid home later on," Roger said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. "No offense to your wife but the last time she was driving down our neighborhood she ended up accidentally reversing into another car because she was texting. Dude we've all been in a car with Muffy and all came to conclusion we're better off in a taxi than asking for a pickup from her."

"Hey at least no one didn't get hurt and my insurance didn't go through the roof and besides the damage wasn't that much," Benny argued.

"Too bad that it was your bumper on your precious Range Rover she collided into," Mark slightly joked. "And you didn't even notice it was gone until we found it that night after you left."

"What was funny was when Maureen tried to mail your bumper to your house," Roger laughed.

"That was until he came back three hours later and found out his bumper was missing," Maureen added. "Sorry and don't take it to offense Benny that we do sometimes get our humor from some of your unexplained misfortunes."

"Maureen does make a point and sorry Benny no hard feelings?" Collins asked as Benny rolled his eyes.

"Hey don't worry Thomas good old Benny is a sport." Roger smiled enjoying dinner with his friends. "It's great to be home again with my best friends and things with Courtney are heading back on track and..."

Roger looked up and suddenly he was stopped in his tracks when he saw Mimi walking towards their table. He wasn't sure whether or not he was dreaming and rubbed his eyes at the sight that his wife was standing in the Life Cafe in front of their table. Mimi had that look of pure shock and surprise on her face seeing Roger sitting at the table with their friends and that he was in front of her in the flesh. Obviously neither one of them knew that the other was back in town and the two of them eyed their friends suspiciously assuming that this was their way of getting the both of them to reunite. The atmosphere at the table became too overwhelming for Roger that he got up and headed outside to clear his head while Mimi wanted answers from her friends.

"Did you guys know?" Mimi bluntly asked. "Was this...your way of telling me that Roger was back in town?"

"Mimi we're sorry it's just...we wanted to help you guys out," Angel replied apologizing. "Hey are you okay? Mimi we didn't want to hurt you guys."

"It's not that it's just it's Roger and he's here in the flesh," Mimi sighed making her way to the door, "Look I need...I need to clear my head first while I process this."

"Wait Mimi come on wait!" the others replied as they saw Mimi walking out of the Life Cafe. "This really blows doesn't it?"

It didn't take a few moments for Mimi to stand in the Life Cafe and suddenly find herself standing outside the restaurant again and turned around to find Roger leaning against a lamp post thinking and took a few steps forward. "Hey Roger." It was all she could say after weeks apart from each other.

"I'm sorry for walking out," Roger silently replied. "Don't take it offensively...but it's just you're here in the flesh. I thought...you...I thought you were still in London. What are you doing here?"

"You're seriously going to ask me that question?" Mimi asked shocked. "I should ask you the same thing and wonder why you're not in Santa Fe. We obviously got tricked by our friends into coming here tonight so they can plan our little reunion after things got really complicated when we left New York. I'll tell you I already screwed myself over when I left for London and being there made things worst and I realized in the end that being there wasn't what I wanted. It took that one call from you that night to make me reconsider my future...and my relationship with you. I had no clue you were back in town I swear."

"Well suddenly we just found out we both came back and pissed away our dreams because I realized that letting you go was the worst thing that I did. For weeks on and on I thought about you and almost ruined things with Courtney once again but I couldn't go through what I went through six years ago again. I gave up Cardigan Records for my daughter, for you because I knew that my dreams changed the day I met you. I'm asking myself if being with you...is worth it? I left Santa Fe and headed back to New York with doubt in my mind saying that I didn't live up to my word to you...how I promised that you giving up our relationship was worth following my dream. I want to say...I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Coming back home and maybe following your heart instead your dream?" Mimi asked confused watching Roger cross the street and following him. "You didn't fail me and I don't blame you for not living up to your promise but it's okay Roger. Sometimes promises are meant to be broken for whatever reason. I know you're not giving up on us because I'm not giving up on us...not by a long shot..."

What Mimi failed to hear was a sudden sound of screeching tires and a car speeding towards her direction unintentionally. The beam of the headlights caught Rogers' attention and without hesitation his feet sped towards Mimi's direction knowing that the driver hit the brakes too late and not on time.

"MIMI LOOK OUT!" In one instant Mimi felt herself landing on the concrete of the sidewalk and feeling Roger shove her out of the way and then everything suddenly flashed in an instant. In a matter of seconds Mimi got a glimpse of a body going over the windshield and rolling on top the roof of the car and landing on the ground. In Rogers' mind he had a feeling of what occurred in a matter of seconds before darkness took over his mind and before slipping unconscious he could vaguely hear the frantic cries of Mimi running towards him.

"OH MY GOD ROGER!" Mimi wailed in shock suddenly now leaning towards the motionless body of Roger lying bruised up and scraped in the middle of the streets outside the Life Cafe.


End file.
